Posted on 06/11/2007 12:24:19 PM PDT by SmithL
Marshalltown, Iowa (AP) -- Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.
"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."
Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.
Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, . . .
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
Wasn’t this an episode from that courtroom drama- “The Paper Chase”?
If she ends up jumping bail they’ll have to send a Bounty hunter out after her...
Maybe if she makes a deal with the prosecutors they’ll agree to wipe her record clean after passage of some amount of time.
Girlfriend should lay off the Burrito Supremes for any number of reasons.
SUZANNE
Suzanne takes you down to her place with indoor plumbing
You can hear the Butts go by
You can spend the night expelling
‘Cause you know that she’s got two-ply
And that’s why you want to be there
And she gives you toilet paper
That comes marked “For Marshall County”
And just when you mean to ask her
That you wonder how she got it
Then she gets you on her toilet
And she lets the paper answer
That you really want to use more
And you don’t care how she got it
And you don’t care if she’s fined
And you know that she will get more
For you’ve touched her toilet paper to your behind.
I don’t know how you do it. That was darn good! Funny!
ping
LMAO!
They’re wiping crime out of that city.
What’s in a name??
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