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Butts Charged With Stealing Toilet Paper
AP via SFGate ^ | 6/11/7

Posted on 06/11/2007 12:24:19 PM PDT by SmithL

Marshalltown, Iowa (AP) -- Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, . . .

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Local News; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: butt; butts; iowa; toiletpaper
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1 posted on 06/11/2007 12:24:20 PM PDT by SmithL
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To: SmithL

That stinks.


2 posted on 06/11/2007 12:25:26 PM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: SmithL

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.


3 posted on 06/11/2007 12:25:34 PM PDT by discostu (only things a western savage understands are whiskey and rifles and an unarmed)
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To: SmithL

If she only followed Sheryl Crow’s advice.


4 posted on 06/11/2007 12:27:14 PM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: SmithL
Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

I'm thinking that maybe she was there for the toilet paper?

Just a guess.

5 posted on 06/11/2007 12:27:43 PM PDT by SIDENET (Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.)
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To: SIDENET

When you gotta go, you gotta go.


6 posted on 06/11/2007 12:28:49 PM PDT by JerriBlank
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To: SmithL

3 yrs for stealing toilet paper??!!


7 posted on 06/11/2007 12:29:13 PM PDT by stuartcr (Everything happens as God wants it to.....otherwise, things would be different.)
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To: stuartcr

“3 yrs for stealing toilet paper??!!”

That’s 3 years of more free TP.


8 posted on 06/11/2007 12:30:19 PM PDT by JerriBlank
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To: SmithL

If they do put her in prison, at least she’ll be assured of getting her three squares a day.


9 posted on 06/11/2007 12:30:25 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh
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To: stuartcr
In jail, there is free toilet paper.
10 posted on 06/11/2007 12:31:19 PM PDT by SIDENET (Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.)
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To: SmithL

Marshall County to Butts: “Not a square to spare”


11 posted on 06/11/2007 12:32:38 PM PDT by JerriBlank
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To: stuartcr
"3 yrs for stealing toilet paper??!!"

Yeah at a cost of $40,000 a year. Yeah I'm thinking 3 rolls of toilet paper is worth $120,000. I'm sure the taxpayers won't mind the increase. What happened to common sense????

12 posted on 06/11/2007 12:32:46 PM PDT by rednesss
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To: SmithL
She was on a roll....

13 posted on 06/11/2007 12:36:23 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.)
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To: SmithL

Her name was Bertha.....Bertha Butts.....she was one of the Butts Sisters.....


14 posted on 06/11/2007 12:37:14 PM PDT by NRA1995 (Hillary sings like Granny Clampett auditioning for "American Idol")
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To: stuartcr

3 yrs for stealing toilet paper??!!


Come on... it was 2-ply.


15 posted on 06/11/2007 12:38:20 PM PDT by kenth (I got tired of my last tagline...)
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To: SmithL

No wonder the courts are ‘clogged’ ... give her a ticket or probation... sheesh.


16 posted on 06/11/2007 12:39:36 PM PDT by BigFinn (“I don't do carrots.” -- John Bolton)
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To: SmithL

“roll on the floor” laughing...


17 posted on 06/11/2007 12:43:20 PM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: SmithL; mikrofon; martin_fierro

She’s got tissues.


18 posted on 06/11/2007 12:44:12 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Butts of jokes.)
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To: Clam Digger
Love the chiefs response: "She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face." Imagine the judge and jury on this one.
19 posted on 06/11/2007 12:46:38 PM PDT by Red in Blue PA (Truth : Liberals :: Kryptonite : Superman)
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To: SmithL

Has a brother named Seymour,.....?


20 posted on 06/11/2007 12:47:21 PM PDT by Gideon Reader (DEMOCRATS: Not quite American, and proud of it! Palestinians are,...well,... Palestinian.)
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