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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
OFST | 04/21/2006 | IPW

Posted on 04/21/2006 7:40:22 AM PDT by BJClinton

Happy Friday everyone! The monster storms last night knocked out power and turned my alarm off. It also jacked with the clock on my coffee grinder/brewer. Not cool. Anywho, please, let the silliness begin!.



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: ipw; ofst; tgif
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To: Steve0113; Steelerfan

note to self:

Steve0113 - not real smart
Steelerfan - a tad smarter


261 posted on 04/21/2006 10:28:06 AM PDT by peacebaby (Where do you go, when the skies turn blue?)
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To: Liberty Valance

Hmmmmm. What does that make a guy like me, who stands at the base of the tree with a long stick knocking the best apples at the top off and catching them as they fall?


262 posted on 04/21/2006 10:28:08 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: RockinRight

The Good Wife's Guide
Housekeeping Monthly - May 13, 1955

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.



incoming...heading for the bunker
;o)


263 posted on 04/21/2006 10:28:41 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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To: nuke rocketeer

Rebound guy. You wait until they're bruised a bit and go in for the kill.


264 posted on 04/21/2006 10:29:17 AM PDT by Hoodlum91 (Tour guide goddess)
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To: peacebaby; Steve0113; Steelerfan
note to self:

Steve0113 - not real smart
Steelerfan - a tad smarter

I see you've got some new friends. Are you going to invite them to the cave?

265 posted on 04/21/2006 10:29:56 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Liberty Valance

Run swiftly...


266 posted on 04/21/2006 10:31:17 AM PDT by EX52D (Life is a stage, and we are merely players...)
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To: Maximus of Texas

Damn, you will have to just owe me, then, i guess. You can buy the beer next time I hit the Bennigans out on Bedford Euless road.


267 posted on 04/21/2006 10:31:36 AM PDT by Toby06 (Make illegal immigration illegal!)
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To: EX52D
" Run swiftly..."

...and smoothly.


268 posted on 04/21/2006 10:32:51 AM PDT by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my jetpack)
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To: peacebaby

Use my credit card??? At this point, I am not even allowed to have my own checkbook anymore. Does anyone have that international symbol of marriage graphic they can post? That about sums things up.









269 posted on 04/21/2006 10:33:19 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: nuke rocketeer

You sound like a smart guy. The really really shiny apples don't like smart guys. That's OK, because they are way too tart and seem to rot really fast anyway.


270 posted on 04/21/2006 10:33:44 AM PDT by Toby06 (Make illegal immigration illegal!)
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To: Toby06
"Bennigans out on Bedford Euless road"

Great place to pick up some lepercauns. I'm in!!
271 posted on 04/21/2006 10:33:53 AM PDT by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my jetpack)
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To: Maximus of Texas

"Leper" cauns? Ewww! LOL! :)


272 posted on 04/21/2006 10:35:42 AM PDT by EX52D (Life is a stage, and we are merely players...)
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To: peacebaby
Steve0113 - not real smart
Steelerfan - a tad smarter

Hey! At least I didn't send them to my wife. That should count for some survival instinct.

273 posted on 04/21/2006 10:35:43 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -A.L.)
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To: Steelerfan

Sad.

Sad sad sad sad sad.


274 posted on 04/21/2006 10:36:02 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (AIXELSYD TAEB I)
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To: Maximus of Texas

The fajitas there don't suck too bad, but I'm a Northeasterener, what do I know. At least the beer is cold.


275 posted on 04/21/2006 10:36:13 AM PDT by Toby06 (Make illegal immigration illegal!)
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To: HOTTIEBOY

I see the beginings of a great song there.


276 posted on 04/21/2006 10:36:34 AM PDT by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my jetpack)
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To: HOTTIEBOY

Nice bikes!


277 posted on 04/21/2006 10:36:51 AM PDT by rabidralph
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To: Maximus of Texas

LOL!!!


278 posted on 04/21/2006 10:37:27 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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To: Dashing Dasher; peacebaby; Steve0113

The "cave"? Why does that remind me of my original post about running while you still can?


279 posted on 04/21/2006 10:39:21 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: Dashing Dasher
Are you going to invite them to the cave?

I've lurked on the Silliness threads long enough to know danger when I see it around here. Who or what is in the cave? ;)

280 posted on 04/21/2006 10:39:29 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -A.L.)
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