New day, same old shabby trolls!!

[festeringboil]

I am absolutely outraged and believe the entire bush and blair administrations need to be put in shackles and tried for war crimes in the Hague. Impeachment should begin in the US immediately for bush, cheney and most of their cabinet. These outrageous, deadly actions makes Watergate seem insignificant. Everyone in CONGRESS who has supported the bush administration over the lies and deceptions of the illegitimate Iraq War should resign immediately or also face impeachment. bush and his administration and blair and his administration should also be tried along with Sadam. Does the United States House of Representatives need anything further to begin impeachment proceedings against this guy? Democratic Congressmen should bring it's proceedings to a halt until this question is answered, because since it is clear that Bush is a criminal and treasonous traitor, how can this country afford one more day of him? And if the MSM attempts to let him off the hook yet again, then each of these corporate heads should be investigated for complicity in Bush's crimes. Period. No more talk.

[Paul_Denton]

Did she fire ten shots or only nine? You feelin lucky troll? WELL DO YA PUNK!.

[muir_redwoods]

Spelling 98%

Use of Complete sentences 96%

Correct use of upper and lower case 99%

Content 12%

Logic n/a

[Paul_Denton]

He's dead, Lord Sidious!

[Capriole]

I agree, it's fun to keep on playing with them when they're nearly dead but still have a faint heartbeat.

[mysto]

Do you have the courage to stand up for what is right?
Do you have the courage to take the ZOT???!!! I didn't think so...

[MeekOneGOP]

Bye, FesteringBoil.

"He's dead, Jim!"

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my Viking Kitty/ZOT ping list!. . .don't be shy.

[zip]

We need to band together and get to the bottom of this. This should enrage every good hearted American who loves the truth and freedom.

Do you have the courage to stand up for what is right?

Or do you like sheep like to be lead and lied too by your leaders

This anti-Klintoon rant is 6 years too late. I'm just overjoyed that we have a great President now.

[timpad]

 

Concept shamessly stolen from AMorePerfectUnion, but he’s OK with that now.

 

The O’Timpad Factor

 

Formerly Rate-A-Troll

 

Hello, you’re watching to the O’Timpad Factor. This thread’s guest Troll is festeringboil. The Factor rates festeringboil in the following Trolling Points Memo:

 

 

Factor	Description	Score	Comment
The O’Kennedy Factor	Boundless arrogance coupled with bottomless, no-exit stupidity.	10	Uncle Teddy would be very proud.
The O’Fonda Factor	Selling out your country because some hippie friends think that’s cool.	10	Would you like to share the name of the teenage dream you’re hoping to impress with this? I do, however, sniff some Euro in your usage.
The O’Dean Factor	Crazy in a can. Available everywhere.	8	Needs more passion. Use some “!!!!” and “##%$@!”
The O’Kerouac Factor	Mindless scribbling worthy of a demented, drug-addled alcoholic.	2	Minor capitalization and spelling errors. More powerful dope will help with this.
The O’Kerry Factor	Talking out of both sides of your mouth, in different languages.	1	Do you rant French?
The O’Clinton Factor	Gravy-training the ‘60’s.	0	Watergate was in the 70’s.
The O’Carter Factor	Distorting the past to screw up the future.	3	I don’t think you have a future.
The O’Gore Factor	Fecklessness hidden behind false smarts.	8	Add a strange, almost imperceptible lisp and you’re there.
The O’Rather Factor	Things are true because you want them to be.	10	Need a job? I hear SeeBS has some openings.
The O’DUpeville Factor	BUSH LIED!!!! FLORIDA 2000!!!	10	PJ Comix has a chapter just for you!

 

festeringboil, Trolling Points thinks you rate a 62 out of a possible 100. Dial up the passion and the dosage, break your caps lOCk key and throw in some more foreign/euro points of view. OK for a first (?) try.

 

[timpad]

Thanks for the ping Meekster, I needed that!

[RushCrush]

[SolidRedState]

[Republican Wildcat]

You Spoony Bard!

[Mr. Jeeves]

You forgot the obligatory "I'm a registered Republican." ;)

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

[trisham]

[stands2reason]

That's the mod's title.

[wjcsux]

Nice comparison!

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Timpad,

Excellent development of your creative intellectual property. I'm very proud of you my son... :-)! ampu

[aMorePerfectUnion]

The Ritual Blessin' o' the Troll

 

Gather round Stout-Hearted Men
for the ritual Blessing of the Troll.

Form a circle. Tighten it up so you have

good position for the spittin' part.

 

[Like saying grace before a bad meal,
the Ritual Blessin' o' the Troll is necessary
because of who we are - not because of
any merit in the Troll himself. Yes, it
is distasteful, and some would say disgusting.

And they'd be right...

 

yes it's a heavy duty that falls upon us

as manly men before he goes
to his just reward.]

 

I will start...

 

We are gathered around this poor pathetic
soul    festeringboil today for the

Ritual Blessing of the Troll.

 

He is a woeful creature, to be sure.

 

It pains us to look upon him

as we gather round him.

Th' best tha' could be said for him is that he's

a hairy fellar. Skinny to be sure and pale of complexion.

 

We see his brain has been warped.

It is twisted. 
He has become but a shell of what a thinkin' human should be.

No worse thing probably could we say

than he has become a liberal.

 

[yes, this is the time to spit upon him - spit freely now]

 

Yet, as we know,

all progress starts with telling the truth.

So truth it'll be for this hairy one.

 

We should well remember that this troll

used to be human

(at least we suspect)

as Gollum hi'self was at one time.

That was quite some time before.

He can no longer think clearly

enough to escape from soundbites and

DU talking points.

They drip from his lips and

fingers like vomit. (An' if you're standin'

close enough to the Circle of Stout-Hearted Men,

I'm not sayin' anythin' you don't know already.)

He can't spell.
He can't think.

And sadly, he hasn't the wisdom to know
these things are true.

So we ask a blessing on his brain.

Aye, it's a tall order, we know.
Allow him to go forth after this

RIGHTEOUS ZOT!

with a brain that functions once again.

May the

LIGHTENING BOLTS

of the Zot! reawaken that long dormant
brain that is hangs like legs on a paralytic man.

 

The brain isn't the worst part ...

 

His soul is in worse shape than his brain -
if you can imagine such  dire straits.

And of course, this is assumin' he has a soul.

Admittedly, it seems doubtful today,

but we can hope.

Whereas he was born in sin,

yet could have made something of his life,

here he has ended up.

And it falls upon us in the Blessin' of the Troll

to hold this to the light -

He is twisted in soul.

He is stunted in moral development.

His beeber is stuned.

An' we should rightly say, he is

pathetic
 - and this even for a troll.

He can no longer tell right from wrong.

He has no moral compass to guide his poor troll rantings.

Perhaps it was the use of the weed.

Perhaps something stronger.

We'll never know,

for he's in no state to tell us,

 let alone repent from the depths of his depravity.

 

Or perhaps he's been over imbibing the hard drink.

If so, it should be noted that he can't handle his liquor.

As such,

he is certainly no longer a man.

He has become just an empty shell.

But a human shell who's only purpose is

to provide space for a Kerry bumper sticker,

which explains the ugly tattoo.

 

(fellars, bow your heads as I speak of the Viking Kitties of Death)

Whatever started him down this path,

may he be blessed to turn after the

VIKING KITTIES OF DEATH

come with their claws blazin'

... and they will, for sure.

May the pain and terror of these

noble beasts chase him back
to the straight and narrow way -

from which a man should never stray.

 

May he have such a fear in his soul that

he will look back on today as a blessing, for sure!

 

There is little more that can be said about this sad,
pathetic creature who is before us today.
There is little enough left of human form,

nothing

that is good,

or noble,

or worthy,

or excellent.

We wish that it were so,

fer it pains us to look upon him.

 

He has become little more than a pile of

what could have been human and yet now is stillborn

as it sits within our circle of stout-hearted men.

 

What is left here after the

RIGHTEOUS ZOT

(which he deserves)

shall be scraped up and returned to
the last known address. And if one of you
good gentleman is willing to spare a zip-lock
baggie, I believe that will do it.

 

Now, unless another of our best has
any other blessin's, we commend this hairy
wayward troll to the

 ZOT!

[timpad]

I'm very proud of you my son... :-)! ampu

Thanks. Brilliant concept, I just ran with it...