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Garland Rejects 6th Amendment Duties [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 April 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/01/2023 6:40:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

Under questioning by Rep. Andrew Clyde (R-Ga) at a House Appropriations subcommittee hearing, Attorney General Merrick Garland denied that enforcing the Constitution's right to a "speedy and public trial" for those accused of crimes during the January 6, 2021 riot at the US Capitol is his responsibility.

Clyde pointed out that "it's been more than two years since the alleged crimes occurred. Nearly two dozen of the accused have spent almost two years imprisoned. As the nation's top-ranking law-enforcement officer shouldn't you be doing more to protect these defendants' civil rights?"

"Look," Garland replied, "my job is to prosecute these dangerous insurrectionists. Making sure that they are properly punished is my solemn duty. So, doing it right is more important than doing it fast. If these incarcerated men think their rights are being violated it is their obligation to go to court to assert and defend what they consider to be their rights to a swifter procedure."

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) characterized Garland's actions as "a crime in itself. Not only has he dragged his feet in bringing these cases to a close, but many of the videos taken in the Capitol on that day that he's been concealing have shown, his prosecutors have suppressed exculpatory evidence. This pattern of obstruction of justice coming from the AG's office warrants an investigation and prosecution of its own."

Asked later about Rep. Greene's remarks, Garland chuckled and offered "some kind advice. Who would dare to investigate or prosecute me? I have the entire FBI at my command and allies at the IRS. I can beckon swarms of officers to harass and potentially prosecute anyone I want. I recommend that Greene and others of a similar bent think hard before launching a fight w ith me that they cannot win."

In related news, Assistant US Attorney Kelly Moran, one of Garland's prosecutors, admitted that Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) undercover officers acted as provocateurs at the US Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, but insisted that "since they were only following orders they and dozens of other officers are immune from prosecution for any damages resulting from their actions," that "video evidence showing them encouraging people to climb over barricades and enter the building is inadmissible," and as lawyers are wont to do, threw in an assertion that "the officers were simply exercising the freedom of speech guaranteed them under the First Amendment."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,495398.0.html


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: constitution; insurrectionists; satire; speedytrial

1 posted on 04/01/2023 6:40:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

He’s rejected all the amendments. If no one is above the law then why aren’t these creeps in jail? I already know the answer.


2 posted on 04/01/2023 6:59:17 AM PDT by HighSierra5 (The only way you know a commie is lying is when they open their pieholes.)
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To: John Semmens
"Who would dare to investigate or prosecute me? I have the entire FBI at my command and allies at the IRS. I can beckon swarms of officers to harass and potentially prosecute anyone I want. I recommend that Greene and others of a similar bent think hard before launching a fight w ith me that they cannot win."

Dat you, J. Edgar?

Actually Hoover, while having vast power, kept it's 'abuse' confined to real Communists within government and influencing the public. Garland's priorities are the exact opposite. Tagline applies.

3 posted on 04/01/2023 12:04:12 PM PDT by MikelTackNailer (Our Tree of Liberty needs not the blood of Patriots, just lifeless traitors adorning its branches.)
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