🤣
LOL!!! I just picked up this joke:
A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot!“
Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin”
He says “You don’t understand! I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky. He is the one I was insulting!“
The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is.”
LOL
Here is a Putin joke I heard the other day:
Putin’s car was racing along a back road, as he was late for a tryst.
The car came around a corner and hit a hog in the middle of the road,
killing it. He told the chauffeur to stop, saying,
‘That hog was probably the farmers food for this winter. Go up to the
farmhouse on the hill and tell him that you killed it.’
So the chauffeur heaves himself out of the sedan and trudges up the
hill to the farm house, goes in and doesn’t come back for an hour. He
gets back in the driver’s seat totally drunk and reeking of vodka.
Putin asks where the heck he has been and what took so long. The driver
says he went in and the farmer set him down and got him drunk and
offered food aplenty. Then, the farmer’s daughter came out and
enticed the driver into her room where he received pleasures untold.
Putin asked, ‘Exactly, what did you say to the farmer?’ The driver said,
‘I told him, ‘I am Putin’s chauffeur and I just killed the pig.”
Q: What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler?
A: Hitler knew when to kill himself
Putin, Xi and a donkey walk into a bar...
5.56mm
Vladimir Putin died and went to hell.
After 5 years, the Devil decided that Putin had adjusted well to his damnation, and gave him a day off.
Putin went to his favorite pub in Moscow and ordered a beer.
Putin asked the bartender, “Do we still have the Crimea?”
“Yes, we do,” said the bartender.
“Good! What about the Donbas?”
“It’s ours.”
“What about Kiev?”
“It’s the pride of our country!”
“Great!” said Putin. “Now I can go back and enjoy my continued eternity in hell. How much do I owe for the drink?”
“That will be 5 Euros,” said the bartender.
Half of Ukraine’s Tank Fleet Made Up of Captured Russian Equipment: U.K.
https://www.newsweek.com/half-ukraine-tank-fleet-captured-russians-1749866
British intelligence: More than half of Ukrainian tanks - captured from Russians
https://en.lb.ua/news/2022/10/07/17285_british_intelligence_more_than_half.html
After he dies, Vladimir Putin finds himself standing in a giant lake filled with blood.
The blood reaches all the way up to the Russian dictator’s neck, so much so that he has trouble staying above it and breathing.
He looks around and sees that next to him is Joseph Stalin. Stalin is standing with blood only up to his waist, calmly smoking a pipe.
”This is completely unfair,” says Vlad. “Osip, you murdered millions of people, and I am only responsible for the death of a few hundred thousand. Why am I nearly drowning, all the way up to my neck in blood, and you only have blood up to your waist?”
Stalin removes the pipe from his mouth, then waits a few seconds before responding.
”My dear Volodya,” he says. “I am standing on the shoulders of Lenin.”