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Here is a Putin joke I heard the other day:

Putin’s car was racing along a back road, as he was late for a tryst.
The car came around a corner and hit a hog in the middle of the road,
killing it. He told the chauffeur to stop, saying,

‘That hog was probably the farmers food for this winter. Go up to the
farmhouse on the hill and tell him that you killed it.’

So the chauffeur heaves himself out of the sedan and trudges up the
hill to the farm house, goes in and doesn’t come back for an hour. He
gets back in the driver’s seat totally drunk and reeking of vodka.

Putin asks where the heck he has been and what took so long. The driver
says he went in and the farmer set him down and got him drunk and
offered food aplenty. Then, the farmer’s daughter came out and

enticed the driver into her room where he received pleasures untold.
Putin asked, ‘Exactly, what did you say to the farmer?’ The driver said,
‘I told him, ‘I am Putin’s chauffeur and I just killed the pig.”