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BREAKING: Biden To Hold Special Press Conference Today To Announce What Ice Cream Flavor He’s Eating
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/16/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/16/2021 7:53:11 AM PDT by DFG

CAMP DAVID—Amid increased calls to address the nation as Afghanistan falls to the Taliban, the Biden Administration has confirmed he will give an emergency press conference to announce which ice cream flavor he plans to eat today.

"Amid rising tensions throughout the country and in the middle east, our beloved leader is giving the American people exactly what they need right now," said CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins. "We're all dying to know—will it be chocolate chip? Maybe chocolate-chocolate chip? I believe I speak for the entire country when I say the suspense is totally killing me!"

Exploiting a tragic scenario in Afghanistan, Republicans have seized on an opportunity to attack and pounce on President Biden, which some say could put a dark cloud over an otherwise joyous and heartwarming press conference.

Sources close to Biden have said he is undeterred, and will not allow the human disaster in Afghanistan to dampen spirits as he announces his chosen Monday ice cream flavor.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: afghanistan; biden; flavor; icecream
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1 posted on 08/16/2021 7:53:11 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

I hope this becomes a regular daily thing.

I happily anticipate knowing the flavor for Tuesday as well, then Wednesday... Thursday... Friday... Sat...


2 posted on 08/16/2021 7:55:43 AM PDT by C210N (You can trust government or you can understand history. But you CANNOT do both)
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To: All
956213-EE-0-EC6-419-B-803-D-DA8146966437
3 posted on 08/16/2021 7:56:39 AM PDT by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: DFG

Unicorns will be on stage to provide fruit flavored candy to the lamestream press


4 posted on 08/16/2021 7:56:42 AM PDT by no-to-illegals ( Liberals, leftists, Rinos, moslems, illegals, lamestream media. All want America to fail and die )
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To: DFG

This would be hilarious IF he were retired and sitting at home causing no harm.


5 posted on 08/16/2021 7:56:53 AM PDT by albie
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To: DFG

Boxers or briefs? Eeeyuck.


6 posted on 08/16/2021 7:56:55 AM PDT by HighSierra5 (The only way you know a commie is lying is when they open their pieholes.)
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To: DFG

What kind?

I’ll guess Rocky Road.


7 posted on 08/16/2021 7:57:57 AM PDT by TimF
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To: DFG

8 posted on 08/16/2021 7:58:31 AM PDT by Drew68
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the fact that Biden has been awol and his press secretary has left the building this week...
...I gotta admit, I have a very uneasy feeling about WTF must be going on.


9 posted on 08/16/2021 7:59:54 AM PDT by BuckeyeGOP ( )
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To: DFG

Do we know if biden is still alive?


10 posted on 08/16/2021 8:00:25 AM PDT by Leep (Save America. Lock down Joe Biden!)
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To: Leep

Biden might even not know if he is!


11 posted on 08/16/2021 8:01:15 AM PDT by caww ( )
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To: DFG
... I say the suspense is totally killing me!"

We can only hope......................

12 posted on 08/16/2021 8:01:19 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: HighSierra5

I think potatohead goes ‘commando’.


13 posted on 08/16/2021 8:01:22 AM PDT by dynachrome ("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
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Comment #14 Removed by Moderator

To: HighSierra5

Depends.


15 posted on 08/16/2021 8:02:16 AM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: Leep

Jill has a compact mirror..............


16 posted on 08/16/2021 8:02:20 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: DFG

17 posted on 08/16/2021 8:02:51 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: BuckeyeGOP

They’re scrambling around to do damage control.....going to take a plan and one that the media will cover 24/7.....


18 posted on 08/16/2021 8:03:04 AM PDT by caww ( )
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To: Leep

“Do we know if biden is still alive?”

My question too.


19 posted on 08/16/2021 8:03:41 AM PDT by Fai Mao (I don't think we have enough telephone poles.)
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To: AnthonySoprano

Biden’s “leader look.”


20 posted on 08/16/2021 8:09:51 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Enough. Divide the country.. now. )
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