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Rioters Beginning To Worry They Can No Longer Loot Safely
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/02/2020

Posted on 09/02/2020 2:11:32 PM PDT by DFG

For the past few months, the riots across America have been relatively peaceful, with people able to loot stores, beat bystanders, and burn down buildings without any fear of violence. That has changed recently, though, with the deployment of the National Guard in some places and the outbreak of armed right-wingers in other areas.

“It used to be if you were just minding your own business, stealing things and setting the neighborhood on fire, people would leave you alone,” said Chris Rice, a rioter. “Now it’s getting scary. You can’t even smash a window in peace.”

Many point to how Kyle Rittenhouse shot three people and worry that incidents like that could spread.

“Everything has been so peaceful during these riots,” said Noah Glover, a self-described member of Antifa. “You could just run up to someone and beat him unconscious with a sock full of nickels and not have to worry about any violence. But now it’s getting dangerous.”

Some of the rioters are trying to think of new ways to get their message across other than looting and arson, but none of them can remember what they were protesting.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antifa; babylonbee; blm; looter; riot
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1 posted on 09/02/2020 2:11:32 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Way too close to the mark.


2 posted on 09/02/2020 2:12:49 PM PDT by CatOwner
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To: DFG

poor wittle wooters . . .


3 posted on 09/02/2020 2:13:11 PM PDT by RatRipper ( Democrats and socialists are vile liars, thieves and murderers - enemies of good and America.)
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To: DFG

“Everything has been so peaceful during these riots,” said Noah Glover, a self-described member of Antifa. “You could just run up to someone and beat him unconscious with a sock full of nickels and not have to worry about any violence. But now it’s getting dangerous.”


4 posted on 09/02/2020 2:14:18 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: RatRipper

The Bee strikes again . . . good satire sounds like it could be twue!!!!!


5 posted on 09/02/2020 2:14:39 PM PDT by RatRipper ( Democrats and socialists are vile liars, thieves and murderers - enemies of good and America.)
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To: DFG

You loot, we shoot.

The way it used to be handled.


6 posted on 09/02/2020 2:17:29 PM PDT by kaehurowing
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To: DFG

They can use the Antifa defense - roll up in fetal position and cry.


7 posted on 09/02/2020 2:18:03 PM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is July 4th, Democrats believe every day is April 15th.for corruptiion)
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To: DFG

Be nice if the next time they rioted or looted if they were met with a hail of bullets from the ordinary people whose lives, persons and property they threatened.


8 posted on 09/02/2020 2:18:33 PM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: BenLurkin

Yep, the Bee hits another home run.


9 posted on 09/02/2020 2:19:48 PM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: DFG

Got me again!!


10 posted on 09/02/2020 2:21:35 PM PDT by Spirit of Liberty (It's morning in America again!)
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To: kaehurowing

I spent a couple of days guarding my in law’s house after a hurricane. My FIL and I took turns standing guard in the front lawn with a pump gun. During the night, obama types would do a slow ride past the house. They didn’t stop. One car stopped and a door opened. I racked the 870 and they decided they had somewhere else to be at that time.

Pro Active deterrence works.


11 posted on 09/02/2020 2:22:31 PM PDT by Texas resident (Remember in November)
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To: DFG
"Many point to how Kyle Rittenhouse shot three people and worry that incidents like that could spread." Not to worry...there can't be more than about 20 million Kyle Rittenhouses out there chomping at the bit...surely "many" can handle that ok!😎
12 posted on 09/02/2020 2:23:56 PM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: DFG

“What a world! What a world!”


13 posted on 09/02/2020 2:24:26 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: DFG

Where is Antifa’s headquarters? Just wondering in case I wanted to peacefully protest there and burn it to the ground?


14 posted on 09/02/2020 2:28:30 PM PDT by Kudsman (Baby Lives Matter)
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To: DFG

I call PLAGIARISM!! This has got to be taken directly from CNN and MSNBC


15 posted on 09/02/2020 2:28:58 PM PDT by eyeamok
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To: DFG

I’m going to just quit reading news sites and just read The Bee. Probably more accurate in some accounts anyway.


16 posted on 09/02/2020 2:31:31 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs
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To: DFG

Perhaps they should call the police for protection.


17 posted on 09/02/2020 2:32:53 PM PDT by the_Watchman
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To: DFG

I’m surprised they didn’t first send out their mothers to cry about their plight.


18 posted on 09/02/2020 2:33:31 PM PDT by rx (Truth will out!)
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To: rx

Maybe their probation officers will lend a shoulder to cry on.


19 posted on 09/02/2020 2:34:18 PM PDT by TigersEye (Leftism exists as a mentality of fictions that can't be questioned.)
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To: DFG

They are just like 1776! America needs to understand.


20 posted on 09/02/2020 2:34:23 PM PDT by shanover (...To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.-S.Adams)
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