Posted on 04/05/2020 12:22:27 PM PDT by John Semmens
Malibu, California: A man paddle-boarding in the Pacific Ocean off the coast was arrested and taken away in handcuffs for violating the state's social distancing rules. He now faces a fine of up to $1,000 and/or a jail stint of up to six months. Earlier in the week, a lone surfer was arrested fined $1,000. A spokesperson for Gov. Gavin Newsom explained that "while the fact that this perp was more than hundreds of feet from any other person might seem to be within the guidelines, it is not up to individuals to make this interpretation for themselves. Yes, being outdoors to exercise is one of the activities permitted under the stay-at-home order. However, if we are barring pick-up basketball games, which are very popular forms of exercise among African-American youths, it would be racist to allow options favored by whites. The deprivation and suffering must be racially balanced."
San Francisco: A lone protester praying outside a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic was arrested for violating Gov. Newsom's stay-at-home order. The arresting officer explained that "even though he was more than the specified ten feet from persons entering and leaving the facility, praying is not exercising. Neither is his contention that the Constitution's First Amendment right to freedom of religion and freedom of speech takes precedence over the Governor's order. During a health emergency individual rights must be put aside and everyone obey the orders they are given by their government."
Laredo, Texas: The city council passed an ordinance requiring all persons over the age of 5 to have their nose and mouth covered when entering public buildings, using public transportation, and pumping gas. Additionally, anyone who is outside his or her residence between the hours of 10 pm and 5 am must have a letter of permission from a recognized authority. Violators are subject to a $1,000 fine or 180 days imprisonment. Thus far, three persons have died with the COVID-19 virus out of a total city population of more than 260,000.
Vermont: The Agency of Commerce and Community Development has ordered Walmart and Target to stop selling nonessential items. Secretary Lindsay Kurrle explained that "even though it might be convenient for consumers to buy such items while they're shopping for groceries in these stores, it would be unfair to the clothing, housewares, and other stores that have been ordered closed by the governor."
New York City: Mayor Bill de Blasio threatened to "permanently shut down any church or synagogue that refuses to obey Governor Cuomo's 'stay-at-home' order. No one has the right to endanger the community by failing to comply with the directives of those in charge. Religion is the opiate of the masses. Praying to a non-existent God is a waste of time that can only be tolerated when it doesn't interfere with the needs of the state."
Washington, DC: Mayor Muriel Bowser has decreed that anyone who violates his "stay-at-home" order will be faced with a $5,000 fine and 90 days in jail. Mercedes Schlapp, an adviser to President Trump's re-election campaign, questioned the sanity of this order. "Locking up curfew violators with the kinds of violent criminals that inhabit the City's jails seems a cruel punishment for such a mild offense," she tweeted. "And the $5,000 fine seems excessive." Bowser replied "if you can't do the time, don't commit the crime" and added "the $5,000 fine is needed to cover the cost of the violator's incarceration."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,397000.new.html#new
If only it were satire.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it”. surfer and prayer are arrested but abortion clinics waiting room are packed and doctors murdering the unborn are going full tilt. Insanity
The real crime of this miscreant was that he was having too much fun at a time when everybody should be skulking in fear and shame, isolated from each other.
Last week, a guy was surfing on a deserted beach in Redondo Beach, California.
Three cops were waiting for him.
In Palm Beach Fla., same thing. Cops arrested surfers.
Of course, catching dangerous criminals and illegals takes a back seat to these not so “finest.”
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