Posted on 04/14/2018 10:06:48 AM PDT by John Semmens
FaceBook CEO Mark Zuckerberg underwent two days of interrogation before members of the House and Senate looking into his firm's invasion of privacy and political misuse of personal information. The tech wiz apologized for "allowing this information to fall into the wrong hands" and vowed to "introduce procedures to prevent any recurrence of the tragic event that befell the nation on November 8th 2016."
In an effort to persuade members of Congress that "we are on the case," Zuckerberg cited a couple of recent measures he said "will hopefully purge dangerous content from using FaceBook to promote antisocial attitudes and policies." The first example, he cited was "banning the posting of a crucifix on the FaceBook page of the Franciscan University of Steubenville. This image of what can only be adequately described as 'torture porn' is the type of abuse of our platform that we will work very hard to eliminate going forward."
The second example Zuckerberg offered up "was our ban of the unsafe posts put on FaceBook by Diamond and Silk. I know that these fans of Donald Trump believe they are exercising their freedom of speech, but I want to assure Congress that this alleged freedom doesn't extend to hate speech that makes other users of our platform feel uncomfortable. Not only was there the potential of psychological harm, there was also the possibility of physical harm if those offended by the posts took to the streets to vandalize buildings, beat up political opponents, or confront police. At FaceBook we don't remain passive under a delusion that we should remain neutral when improper ideas are voiced. We take a proactive approach to nip them in the bud. My biggest regret is that we didn't take this strong stance prior to the 2016 election."
Zuckerberg brushed aside criticism that FaceBook's censoring of the two minority women might be construed as "racist," saying that "race is not just a skin color. It also embodies an internal attitude and an external pattern of behavior that either is or isn't authentic. Clearly, no authentic black person would be a political supporter of Trump. Diamond and Silk are obviously suffering from a false consciousness. By blocking their political delusions we are actually trying to help them get back on track with the vast majority of their racial peers."
In related news, fellow tech tycoon Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter, gave a "thumbs up" to an article calling for Republicans to be wiped out in a new "Civil War." According to the article written by Peter Leyden, "the Republican party is now so morally indefensible on every level that it is equivalent to the Confederacy of 1861. It deserves to be pounded into submission or oblivion just like Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee and their r4edneck minions were."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=312055.0
Without his booster seat, would he have been seen over the top of the desk? What an assclown.
Translation: I’ll never do anything that helps a Republican again! That’s really why he was called on the carpet.
Ha.
Definitely one of the evil masterminds out of a James Bond movie
No doubt
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