Posted on 02/10/2018 12:47:54 AM PST by John Semmens
Despite the emergence of a pattern of improper actions by the FBI, the Obama Administration, and the Hillary Clinton campaign to spy on and smear Donald Trump, former President George W. Bush offered his opinion that "there is clear evidence of Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election to aid Trump."
"For eight years I was the Decider-in-Chief of the United States of America," Bush boasted. "I have insights that few other human beings have when it comes to serious matters like statecraft, governance and strategery. I can easily pierce the veil of facts and get to the underlying true reality."
"For me, the most important clue was revealed in the debates," Bush continued. "While few may have noticed, Trump announced that he would like to have better relations with Russia. In contrast Hillary said she would authorize our Air Force to shoot down Russian jets in Syria. Now ask yourself, who do you think Russia would rather have as the American president: a guy who wants better relations or a woman who's ready to kill their guys? Once you look at everything from this perspective it should be obvious that the only person the Russians would have wanted to help was Trump."
"Take the Uranium One scandal for example," Bush said. "By exploiting the Clintons' well-known greed, the Russians were able to tar Hillary with a clumsily concealed bribery scheme that would've destroyed her candidacy were it not for the heroic efforts of the media to bury this story under mounds of anti-Trump rhetoric."
"Unfortunately, the Russians are wily adversaries," Bush observed. "So they concocted a backup plan to dupe Hillary into buying a contrived dossier of dirt on Trump that diverted her from campaigning on her winning issues of higher taxes, bigger spending, more regulation and open borders. So confident was she of winning by attacking his character with this dossier and the 'pussy grabbing' tape that she cut back her campaign appearances to rest up for her inauguration. As we all saw to our great consternation, the Russian scheme worked like a charm and Trump eked out a victory in the Electoral College even though he lost the popular vote."
"Despite Russian success in overturning the election of the most qualified nominee of either Party in this nation's long history, I remain optimistic that all is not lost," the former President said. "Hopefully, patriots like Comey and Mueller will yet find a way to oust Trump and place a more qualified person on the throne. I think a good compromise candidate to install as president would be my brother Jeb. He's got the breeding and the experience needed to govern this great country."
In related news, Hillary Clinton now claims she was only following Peter Strzok's advice when she used Bleachbit to erase her subpoenaed emails. "Considering the vast expertise of the FBI and my own relative ignorance about computer security who can blame me for trusting their judgment?" she asked. "It also made sense since murder suspects on Law and Order are always using bleach to destroy evidence. At the very least, I think I should have immunity for merely following a suggestion given by an officer in the nation's premier law-enforcement agency."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/234506-2018-02-10-semi-news-semi-satire-february-11-2018-edition.htm
ping
The smartest man in the world lends his invaluable support to the smartest woman in the world. How can this possibly go wrong?
If this didn’t say semi-satire, I’d believe it.
For eight years I was the Decider-in-Chief of the United States
Horses Ass.
Awesome!!!
Semi former President who now is an artist...SO talented...wish he’d find a peanut farm with Jimmy.
I used to support Bush’s. Once they are out of office they become stupid in their actions- Like father, like son??!!!
Maybe he should draw cartoons of himself as that is what he has turned into.
Bush Convinced Russians Tried to Rig Election for Trump [semi-satire]
But, you don’t understand, Bush is under an enormous amount of peer pressure from the elites in his social circle to go along with the heard./s
Thousands of our military gave their lives while serving under him. The least he could do is stand up for the truth. Bush is a coward and not a worthy former Commander in Chief.
He still can't quite grasp why the people didn't want his brother "Senor el Jebbo".
John, for once your satire is too obvious since in your Bush quotes his grammar is too perfect and he speaks in complete sentences ... :-)
You hit it out of the park my FRiend, well done!!!!
Please tell us how. I have been asking how since the claim was first made and have yet to hear any answer. The Russians did not affect our elections in any way. That is a fact. Nobody has yet to show any different, but we are spending millions on investigating something that was a democratic myth. Come on George, let us have something. You must know something so what is it?
At least he didn't say "deciderer."
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