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District Judge Blocks College Football Playoff Rankings [satire]
Vanity | 12/3/2017 | Scott Johnson

Posted on 12/03/2017 3:00:04 PM PST by scottinoc

In a rare intervention by the federal courts into college athletics, Federal District Court Judge Butch Leftwich has order a temporary block of the College Football Playoff rankings as issued earlier today by the Committee, citing unfairness and political bias.

In her ruling, Judge Leftwich stated "In this current political era, it is unconscionable and de facto unconstitutional to have a college football playoff committee choose 4 teams from deep red states. This court has determined that a more fair distribution would include for example, Syracuse or USC." The judge did not include Ohio State in her list, as a possible representative team from a swing state.

The judge further elaborated that an obvious injustice was done, in that Syracuse, during the regular season, beat one of the 4 teams selected. She also cited Donald Trump's rhetoric during the campaign as possible reasons to choose USC, a major conference champion from a sanctuary state.

In order to expedite a replacement ranking, Senator Chuck Schumer and Congressman Adam Schiff have called for a special counsel committee to choose the 4 teams. In this process, each of the top 10 teams could claim to be worthy of a playoff spot. Attorney General Jeff Sessions has recused himself from the process, due to his home state being Alabama. Sessions declined to elaborate, simply stating that he "has no reason to dispute these teams' claims."

The ruling is expected to be challenged by an Appeals Court. It is unclear whether the decision would be appealed in time for the 4-team playoff round currently scheduled for New Year's Eve.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: satire; vanity
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1 posted on 12/03/2017 3:00:04 PM PST by scottinoc
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To: scottinoc

Judge Butch Leftwich:
LOL.


2 posted on 12/03/2017 3:01:33 PM PST by calljack (Sometimes your worst nightmare is just a start.)
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To: scottinoc

IBSTTIR


3 posted on 12/03/2017 3:02:21 PM PST by clintonh8r (I've been banned from TheHill.com. #Proud)
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To: scottinoc

Entirely too possible in my honest opinion!


4 posted on 12/03/2017 3:03:10 PM PST by SES1066 (Happiness is a depressed Washington, DC housing market!)
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To: scottinoc

Please tell me you made this up!


5 posted on 12/03/2017 3:03:58 PM PST by johniegrad
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To: scottinoc

Is this satire?


6 posted on 12/03/2017 3:04:10 PM PST by Spok ("What're you going to believe-me or ywour own eyes?" -Marx (Groucho))
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To: scottinoc

You should have labeled this as sarcasm/comedy because it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish real judicial decisions from farcical fiction.


7 posted on 12/03/2017 3:05:54 PM PST by House Atreides (BOYCOTT the NFL, its products and players 100% - PERMANENTLY)
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To: scottinoc

Checking my online sources, Alabama made the final four. How the hell does this happen?


8 posted on 12/03/2017 3:06:40 PM PST by johniegrad
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To: scottinoc

The NFL has three divisions.
AFC, NFC, and SEC.


9 posted on 12/03/2017 3:06:40 PM PST by sparklite2 (I hereby designate the ongoing kerfuffle Diddle-Gate.)
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To: scottinoc

It is obvious satire but sometimes it is hard to determine fact from fiction. Especially when it involves leftest judges.


10 posted on 12/03/2017 3:06:42 PM PST by Flavious_Maximus
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To: scottinoc

Great satire. Naming the judge Butch Leftwich and later referring to “her ruling” is top notch.


11 posted on 12/03/2017 3:06:54 PM PST by upchuck ("Ex-obama" ... That phrase itself honors America. ~ h/t glennaro)
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To: scottinoc

The great tragedy is that I’m really trying to decide if this is a joke. It reads like a joke, is paced like a joke, and even has a funny name; but, is also entirely believable of the whack-a-doodle left....


12 posted on 12/03/2017 3:06:54 PM PST by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: scottinoc

It could happen.


13 posted on 12/03/2017 3:07:04 PM PST by lastchance (Credo.)
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To: scottinoc

What we really need is for some judge who knows less about football than I do to schedule the championship bowl series and who needs to be matched in it.


14 posted on 12/03/2017 3:07:56 PM PST by stevem
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To: scottinoc

I also believe that OSU won the popular vote.


15 posted on 12/03/2017 3:09:15 PM PST by pnut22
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To: scottinoc

Look the Left is loony enough for this to be true. Please, there should be some disclaimer somewhere on this made-up story.


16 posted on 12/03/2017 3:10:01 PM PST by Jim 0216
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To: Spok
The literary tools of "satire" and "irony" that are most successful when employed by a skillful writer of such are those that are closest to the truth.

This post nails it.

Leni

17 posted on 12/03/2017 3:10:37 PM PST by MinuteGal (MAGA !!!)
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To: scottinoc

lol


18 posted on 12/03/2017 3:11:18 PM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a Simple Manner for a Happy Life :o)
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To: johniegrad
It happens when someone is using humor too close to reality. 😉
19 posted on 12/03/2017 3:11:29 PM PST by madison10 (Merry Christmas!)
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To: scottinoc

The schools will be judged on their PC merits.

Any school with an animal mascot is disqualified because they might offend PETA.

Any school with an ethnic mascot is disqualified because they might offend some other ethnic person.

Who does that leave? Buckeyes are a type of seed or something. Ohio State Wins!


20 posted on 12/03/2017 3:13:42 PM PST by aomagrat (Gun owners who vote for democrats are too stupid to own guns.)
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