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Republicans Call for Moore to End Senate Run [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Nov 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/11/2017 12:05:06 PM PST by John Semmens

The Washington Post’s publication of allegations that Judge Roy Moore, the GOP candidate for Alabama’s open senate seat, made improper sexual advances toward teen-age women in 1979 sparked calls for him to exit the race.

Sen. John McCain (R-Az) insisted that Moore “should immediately step aside and allow the people of Alabama to elect a candidate they can be proud of. The allegations alone are disqualifying. Even if they turn out to be untrue the Senate is no place for a man about whom such charges are reported in a highly respected media outlet like the Post.”

Ironically, McCain was the target of allegations that he was engaged in an extramarital affair with a Washington lobbyist during his ill-fated 2008 presidential campaign. He didn’t step aside, something he now acknowledges “may have been a mistake. It was before I had the nomination. If I had made an earlier exit I could have been replaced by a candidate voters could have been proud of.”

McCain wasn’t the only unsuccessful GOP presidential candidate to demand Moore drop out of the race. The 2012 Republican presidential nominee, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, echoed the Arizona Senator, saying that Moore’s accuser’s story of bringing a basket of food to her grandmother’s house in the woods only to be confronted by the wolfish Moore “has a ring of truth about it that I find very persuasive. I can’t believe she would make up such a story.”

The National Republican Senatorial Committee has cut off funding for Moore’s campaign. Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) urged Sen. Luther Strange, who lost to Moore in the Republican primary, to run as a write-in candidate. Both of these moves would greatly increase the odds that Democrat Doug Jones will be Alabama’s next US senator. “No matter,” says Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken), “I’d rather be in the minority than have to accept a tainted Republican as a senate colleague. We’ve been in the minority before. It’s not so bad. There’s a lot less pressure to get things done when you’re in the minority, but the perks are all still there.”

In related news, the US Senate has confirmed fewer of President Trump’s executive and judicial nominees at this point of his term than the nominees of any previous president. Minority Leader Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) has exploited every available procedure to delay confirmation votes. The Senate’s two-and-a-half day workweek is another contributing factor. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) lamented the slow pace, but asserted that “long standing Senate procedures cannot be abandoned simply because they impede the efficient function of the government. The attraction of being a senator would be dissipated if it required a 40-hour work week or expeditious handling of matters up for action.”

If you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: allegations; republicans; satire; sex

1 posted on 11/11/2017 12:05:07 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The Rats always circle the wagons. The stupid Republicans always form a circular firing squad.

2 posted on 11/11/2017 12:09:18 PM PST by laplata (Liberals/Progressives have diseased minds.)
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To: John Semmens

Why should we ? It’s a set up that’s been exposed

Never Trumpers and drive by media radio talk hosts are having a field day ignoring the fact that all of the accusers were of the age of legal consent. Including the one claiming when 14 years old. For her accusations are the juiciest. Which they gleefully relate and dwell on in a touchy feel-ly manner as if it came off of a police report yesterday. Not as a unsubstantiated recollection from 40 years ago. Because they know these are damaging accusations which will be almost impossible to disprove.

Despite that fact that it has been uncovered that two of his accusers are working for the Pervertion Party and that their accusations are false and politically motivated the drivebys and the nevers media are not reporting this but are mentioning one accuser is a “Republican”.

Here is background on two accusers. One works for the perverts that one knows the one who claimed she was 14. But was actually 17 at the time?

3 posted on 11/11/2017 12:09:45 PM PST by mosesdapoet (Mosesdapoet aka L.J.Keslin)
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To: laplata

John McCain doesn’t understand the difference between republicans and democrats, just as he doesn’t understand the difference between being accused of something and being guilty of something. People get falsely accused of crimes far more often than anyone actually commits crimes.

I serous Doubt Moore is guilty, if he was this would have come out decades ago. The woman’s excuses for not telling her story are thin and transparent.

* If she was a republican as she claims to be, she would not wait to release the claim until after the primary much-less after the point where Moore could not be replaced. That just screws over her own party and gives the seat to a man she claims not to like. There was a tight primary election not that long ago.

Obviously she is lying and a democrat with intention of giving the seat to her preferred democrats.

* If it really happened as she described, and she did all this willingly she would been embarrassed about the insolent not traumatized.

Given Moore’s local, state, and national notrality among the media she would have been reminded of that embarrassment countless times over the last 40 years.

If she wanted revenge would have spoke up during any of those election she didn’t, why?

If she was worried about retaliation in a republican dominated state she could have taken her story to Moore’s republican primary appointment. (Something a real republican would do anyway) Then automatically half the republican party would be behind her along with all of the democratic party for ideological reasons. She didn’t.

If she was too emarrsed and claims and is only doing it because other people are opening up about crimes well people have been opening up about this stuff all year, and in many, many other years in the last 40.

If she is worried about her own cretiablity, well she should be, her story has zero evidence, and is rather conventely released 40 years after the fact during a critical election.

Even her party registration is a lie.

4 posted on 11/11/2017 1:16:37 PM PST by Monorprise
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To: John Semmens

In other news . . . 97% of future muslim candidates have been disqualified to run for legislature due to the Moore rule!

5 posted on 11/11/2017 1:58:59 PM PST by saywhatagain
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To: Monorprise

Right on.

6 posted on 11/11/2017 2:28:12 PM PST by laplata (Liberals/Progressives have diseased minds.)
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