Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Pope Confuses Christians [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 May 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/22/2016 11:32:21 AM PDT by John Semmens

Pope Francis startled many Catholics this week by likening Jesus' admonition to his apostles to go forth and preach the Gospel to Mohamed's call for Muslims to wage jihad against unbelievers, calling both "incitements to conquest."

"In a way, beheading someone or blowing them up may be less intrusive than Jesus' command to 'love thy neighbor' or to 'turn the other cheek,'" Francis said. "The jihadi attacks the body, but the Christian missionary invades the soul. Even the most grievous injury to the flesh is transitory. But changing a person's soul persists beyond his temporary Earthly existence."

Francis went on to admire "the amazing fecundity of the Muslim people" and suggested that "Christians might overcome declining birth rates by interbreeding with them. European cultures have put a selfish search for well-being ahead of their obligation to be fruitful and multiply. Unlike Christian women, Muslim females do not disobey their husbands and submit to bearing many children. Unlike Christian men, Muslim males are lusty and unafraid of impregnating females even if they have to resort to rape to accomplish it. Perhaps by intermixing on a sexual level the best of both faiths could be achieved and the rationale for Islamic violence attenuated."

In related news, Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton said GOP contender Donald Trump's "anti-Muslim attitude is a disqualifying stance. They wouldn't have to blow up airliners or decapitate hostages if they were assured access to America. Trump's proposed ban leaves them no alternative but violence if they are to accomplish their political and religious objectives." Clinton vowed she would "be pursuing a contrasting strategy of peaceful change. If we integrate them into our society as equals we may divert them toward using nonviolent means to implement their world view."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,207864.0.html


TOPICS: Government; History; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: funfun; funnyhaha; hyperbole; islam; jesus; parody; pope; religiofarcical; satire; satrirical

1 posted on 05/22/2016 11:32:21 AM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Waiting for the satire ...


2 posted on 05/22/2016 11:37:31 AM PDT by SES1066 (Quality, Speed or Economical - Any 2 of 3 except in government - 1 at best but never #3!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

The Pope self identifies as a communist muslim


3 posted on 05/22/2016 12:02:32 PM PDT by stockpirate (Flush Limbaigh a low information talk show host concerning Ted sCruz and Marco foamboy Rubio.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Oh my word. Think I’ll go put my head in the sand. Maybe there are some sane people down there.


4 posted on 05/22/2016 1:29:16 PM PDT by mia
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Well done.


5 posted on 05/22/2016 3:04:58 PM PDT by RoosterRedux
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson