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President Decrees New Nationwide School Restroom & Locker Room Law [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 May 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/15/2016 1:25:41 PM PDT by John Semmens

In a bid aimed at "stopping a confusing patchwork of divergent rules," President Obama issued an executive order mandating that every public school in the United States make all previously sexually-segregated restrooms and locker rooms open to persons of both sexes. Instead of relying on biological differences to determine which toilets, which showers, or which athletic teams students should have access to, schools must now use psychological differences. Biological males who think of themselves as female must be allowed to use facilities previously restricted to biological females, and vice versa.

Vanita Gupta, head of the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division hailed the President's action as "the final blow against the last barrier to a fully non-discriminatory society. This erases the false notion that biology is destiny. The presence or absence of physical attributes has for too long shunted individuals into roles they may not wish to accept. The President's order frees everyone to be whoever or whatever they want to be."

Gupta said she was "confident we will get universal compliance. Billions of dollars in federal aid to education can be withheld from school districts that refuse to obey the President's decree. The price of archaic attachment to out-dated ideas will be too steep for financially strapped schools to pay."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,206549.0.html


TOPICS: Education; Government; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: lgbt; obama; satire; selfpromotion; tyranny

1 posted on 05/15/2016 1:25:41 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I missed the satire in this piece.


2 posted on 05/15/2016 1:31:50 PM PDT by rightwingcrazy
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To: John Semmens

Bath House Barry wants everyone to experience the debauchery he participated in.


3 posted on 05/15/2016 1:34:56 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: John Semmens

“but I prefer the little boys room”

signed, Michael Jackson


4 posted on 05/15/2016 1:37:15 PM PDT by dynachrome (We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.)
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To: John Semmens

I could honestly see obpzo pushing a law decreeing that all men sit to pee.


5 posted on 05/15/2016 1:40:16 PM PDT by Red in Blue PA (war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength, obama loves America)
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To: John Semmens

Odungos bath house rules


6 posted on 05/15/2016 1:40:55 PM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon sThailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: John Semmens

This is the way the second term ends, not with a bang but with a
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfltikFvhWc


7 posted on 05/15/2016 2:03:42 PM PDT by BlackAdderess (A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen... -Emerson)
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To: John Semmens

So... (I know it’s satire, but let’s follow this to it’s conclusion) this should make the Olympics interesting.

I guess the Russians will no longer have to worry about those ‘tests’ being done on their ‘female’ athletes.


8 posted on 05/15/2016 3:49:01 PM PDT by UCANSEE2 (Lost my tagline on Flight MH370. Sorry for the inconvenience.)
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