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Tearful Obama Enacts More Gun Controls [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/10/2016 1:13:51 PM PST by John Semmens

Determined not to let an uncooperative Congress impede necessary gun controls, a teary President Obama announced a new round of executive legislation aimed at reducing gun violence. While his actions lack Constitutional or statutory authority, the President claimed to be "taking the moral high ground" and alleged that "90% of Americans agree with me."

The gist of the President's initiative is to "gum up the works as much as possible in order to make the acquisition of a gun a lengthy, tedious, and frustrating undertaking. Even if all we accomplish is to prevent one person from obtaining a firearm that they otherwise would have we will have succeeded in making the country safer."

Whether Obama's prescription would really make the country safer was called into question by a report just published by the Crime Prevention Research Center. This report concludes that "despite the frequent calls for expanded background checks after mass public shootings, there is no evidence that background checks on private transfers of guns would have prevented any of the attacks that have taken place since at least 2000 and that there is no statistical evidence that proves the mass public shootings are rarer in states with background checks on private transfers."

The President characterized the report as "out of line with my thinking and beliefs" and discounted the possibility that more weapons in the hands of law-abiding citizens could actually reduce carnage. "If only the criminal has a gun maybe no one gets shot if the victim doesn't resist," he reasoned. "But if both the criminal and victim have guns two people could get shot. Anyway I look at it, this is a worse outcome."

In support of his action, Obama cited "the remarkable success China has achieved by keeping guns out of the hands of private citizens" and contended that "it seems to me that this is a model we should emulate."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2016/01/09/german-government-flummoxed-by-muslim-new-years-eve-assaults/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; obama; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 01/10/2016 1:13:51 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens


2 posted on 01/10/2016 1:21:17 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -w- NO Pity for the LAZY - Luke, 22:36)
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To: Chode

Sociopaths can cry at the drop of a hat if they believe it will be beneficial to them. Period.


3 posted on 01/10/2016 1:45:54 PM PST by doc maverick
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To: John Semmens
Those tears were really transparent flies:

They landed just outside his eye according to plan just as they were designed to do.

4 posted on 01/10/2016 1:48:11 PM PST by Slyfox (Ted Cruz does not need the presidency - the presidency needs Ted Cruz)
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To: Slyfox

Daesh Bag....Barry Sotoro, Main ISIS financial............Leader....imposes more gun restrictions on Infidel Americans.


5 posted on 01/10/2016 2:35:24 PM PST by Therapsid ( would rather have HER beside mw)
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To: doc maverick
100%
6 posted on 01/10/2016 3:59:00 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -w- NO Pity for the LAZY - Luke, 22:36)
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