Obama to Use Executive Authority to Enact Gun Control [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Administration insiders are hinting that President Obama has become impatient with Congressional inaction on gun control legislation in the wake of a rash of mass murder shootings and will bypass that body and enact new controls based on his own authority. The gist of his decree is said to require dealers who sell more than 50 guns a year to obtain a license from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and do extensive background checks on persons who want to purchase weapons from them.

Though he declined to specifically acknowledge the rumor, Press Secretary Josh Earnest attempted to make the case for executive action, saying that "it is clear to everyone with an ounce of humanity that something has got to be done. We can't let slavish adherence to a 200-year-old Amendment block needed reform. If Congress won't act than it seems morally imperative that the President step into the breach and disarm would-be murderers."

Whether the Administration's proposed action would be effective remains doubtful. In the recent killings in Oregon the shooter obtained his weapons after passing a background check, as did the shooters in most recent other high-profile massacres.

Earnest granted that "we may not be able to stop every lunatic, but if we can stop even one, that's a gain for public safety." The Press Secretary brushed aside approaches that would arm more law-abiding citizens as "a direction that is at odds with the President's view of the world. The notion that arming the supposed 'good guys' is a civilized way to deter the supposed 'bad guys' is insane. We're not living in a John Wayne movie. It's not always easy to tell the 'good guys' from the 'bad guys.' And there is certainly no proof that the 'good guys' will shoot straighter than the 'bad guys.' Reducing the quantity of weapons out there is our best bet."

Twenty-seven Democratic Senators surrounded by armed guards on the Capitol steps endorsed Obama's usurpation of the legislative power. New York Sen. Charles Schumer called executive action "the only option we have left if we hope to overcome the gun lobby's influence on Congress. The people of America demand action. It is incumbent on the President to take action irrespective of any Constitutional or legal impediments."

In related news, President Obama rejected the request of the citizens of Rosenberg, Oregon—site of the murder of Christian students at Umpqua Community College last week—that he not use the tragedy for political grandstanding. Press Secretary Josh Earnest argued that "the wishes of a tiny minority of the aggrieved inhabitants of this rural backwater cannot supersede the prerogative of the world's most powerful leader to exploit this opportunity to press for a more rational gun control policy."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,182645.0.html