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More than 20% of Americans Receive Welfare [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 May 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/30/2015 1:32:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

According to the latest Census Bureau data, 21.3% of those living in America are receiving welfare benefits. This includes more than 41% of Blacks, more than 36% of Hispanics, more than 17% of Asians and more than 13% of whites.

Health and Human Services Secretary Sylvia Burwell called it "a good start on the President's transformative agenda. Ideally, all output would be put into a common pot and doled out to individuals and families based on need. The notion that a person should be self-supporting is archaic. In another generation it will be completely replaced by an appreciation for the collective good of the whole."

Burwell expressed faith that "robots will eventually do all the menial work that has enslaved humankind for thousands of years. The non-menial work will be performed by a dedicated minority that has placed selfishness aside in order to work for the benefit of those less able. Need will supplant greed as the primary principle by which the Earth's bounty is distributed among the people. All will live as one big family with the President serving as the virtual 'parent' to each and everyone of us—allotting each an allowance appropriate to his needs, meting out extra rewards for good behavior, and punishments for willful disobedience."

In related news, socialist candidate for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination Sen. Bernie Sanders called for the government "to seize the resources wasted on manufacturing 23 different kinds of deodorant and 18 brands of sneakers and divert them to the production of food for starving children. The American consumer's addiction to free choice must not be permitted to divert us from this greater purpose."

Sanders also came out in favor of a flat tax of 90% on all income saying that "the average person has far more than he needs. Most private spending is frittered away on non-essentials like fancy cell phones, private automobiles, and entertainment. Shifting this spending over to the government will ensure a more useful deployment of society's resources." As for low wage earners hit with the 90% tax, the Senator said he was "confident that a package of carefully selected social welfare benefits would offset most of the pain."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=171785.new#new


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: collectivism; satire; socialism; welfare

1 posted on 05/30/2015 1:32:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 05/30/2015 1:33:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Is “Cars for Creeps” next or will it be shuttle buses that take everyone to the liquor store, Wal-Mart and drug dealing sectors.


3 posted on 05/30/2015 1:36:44 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (You can help: https://donate.tedcruz.org/c/FBTX0095/)
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To: John Semmens

Romney claimed that it was 47%.


4 posted on 05/30/2015 1:37:33 AM PDT by ansel12
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To: John Semmens

While satire....if they’d done the same survey (minus urban areas of the US)....you’d have a vastly different end-result for all groups. It’s the urban dead zones that have no future.


5 posted on 05/30/2015 1:44:39 AM PDT by pepsionice
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To: John Semmens

LBJ and the Democrats declared war on poverty and trillions later, poverty won.


6 posted on 05/30/2015 2:02:08 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

Kinda reminds me of Obama’s continued war on poverty and ISIS and they both are still winning.


7 posted on 05/30/2015 2:20:20 AM PDT by ImNotLying
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To: ImNotLying

You ain’t lying.


8 posted on 05/30/2015 2:42:39 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: John Semmens
Where's the satire? The only things left out are:

(1)Wars and other situations will kill off unnecessaries

(2)The economic and social goal is a perfect life for the global masters.

9 posted on 05/30/2015 2:48:55 AM PDT by grania
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To: John Semmens

AMERICA! The Land of the FREE STUFF and stupid gringos.


10 posted on 05/30/2015 3:43:22 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Without God there would be no science.)
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To: FlingWingFlyer
All those people on welfare and I can't find anyone to do any work around my place. Guess I need to go down to Mexico and kidnap a few peons.
11 posted on 05/30/2015 5:33:22 AM PDT by DaveA37
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To: ImNotLying
".. Obama’s continued war on poverty .."

I think the war on poverty succeeds in its intent to prevent Blacks from finding work and make sure they have ample time to protest the fact. Plus it makes sure there are plenty of job openings to attract plenty of Central American Democrats.

12 posted on 05/30/2015 5:34:56 AM PDT by HangThemHigh (Entropy's not what it used to be.)
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To: John Semmens

So is Medicare considered welfare and added into this number? I paid into it fully and without choice since it was begun, and now get a little back. Is that welfare? Just curious...


13 posted on 05/30/2015 6:01:46 AM PDT by ThePatriotsFlag ( Anything FREELY-GIVEN by the government was TAKEN from someone else!)
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To: John Semmens
Good one, John.

I'm rather concerned that Bernie might get somewhere in his run. Even if he doesn't get the nomination, his influence will push the Dems even further left, and unless there's a viable alternative at the polls, we'll end up with a(nother) damn Socialist in the White House.

14 posted on 05/30/2015 6:54:26 AM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: John Semmens

Yes we can!


15 posted on 05/30/2015 6:59:31 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: dayglored

There are viable alternatives. We just have to do more than just showing up at the polls on election day and preaching to the choir in forums like this.


16 posted on 05/30/2015 7:03:37 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens
A great deal of truth here. This is exactly what the Obama administration has wanted all along — to create a society completely dependent on government for survival so that the commies can stay in power forever.

Thanks again for the ping.

17 posted on 05/30/2015 7:06:01 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

“A good start” - exactly how they probably see it.


18 posted on 05/30/2015 8:43:03 AM PDT by GeronL (free short story: http://flscifi.blogspot.com/2015/05/free-short-story-proper-care-feeding-of.html)
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