Posted on 02/13/2015 11:18:37 PM PST by John Semmens
Incensed that the President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry have damaged their reputation by falsely claiming that Islam is a religion of peace, attorneys for the Islamic State have filed a defamation of character suit in the District of Columbia Federal Court.
"The unrelenting attempt to portray our righteous slaughter of unbelievers and apostates as contrary to the will of Allah and the tenets of Islam is a slander of the worst kind," insisted attorney Muhammad Baddman. "Islam is the religion of the sword. The Quran commands the faithful to make war on all who resist the Prophet's message. We are the true adherents of his message, not the kafirs occupying the Obama Administration."
"One of the biggest lies propagated by Kerry and Obama regards the linguistic root for the word Islam," Baddman asserted. "They claim it comes from the word sal?m (peace), when in actuality it comes from words meaning submission. We follow the sharia. We pray five times daily as prescribed. We strike the necks of the infidels and unbelievers. Our right to define Islam is fully supported by our obedience to scripture."
The suit asks that the Court order Kerry and Obama to "cease and desist their campaign to misrepresent Islam and to award monetary damages in an amount sufficient to compensate the Islamic State for expenses incurred in its efforts to correct the misrepresentation—including, but not limited to the costs of acquiring, housing, and executing hostages, as well as the costs of both subjugating unbelievers and fending off interference from US Armed Forces."
In related news, Former Clinton Administration Secretary of State Madeleine Albright denounced Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's planned speech to Congress next month as "the worse invasion of US sovereignty since the British burned the White House in 1814." Albright expressed her approval of President Obama's efforts to deal with the threat by sending help to Netanyahu's political opponents. "It's a peaceful and restrained response. The President could've just sent a drone to take him out. That he didn't is further validation of the Nobel Peace Prize he won in 2009."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/171018-2015-02-13-semi-news-semi-satire-february-15-2015-edition.htm
ping
bump
John, I wouldn’t doubt there are lawyers who would bring the suit!
Sadly, this could be real. Thanks again, John, for the ping.
That’s some fiery gold right there.
If only Barry and Kerry could be in the ‘middle east’ at the same time....who knows what could happen. Barry could be on UTube again.
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