Posted on 11/26/2013 9:23:05 AM PST by John Semmens
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is drafting regulations that would require all new cars to be equipped with tracking devices that constantly broadcast the car’s location, direction, speed and, possibly, even the number of passengers it is carrying.
As NHTSA Administrator David Strickland explains, “we constantly admonish parents to watch their children at all times. Well, this would build on that same principle. How can the Government assure the safety and well-being of Americans if we don’t know where they are or what they’re doing at all times?”
Strickland granted that “the proposed new regulation is only a partial solution. It only deals with when people are in their cars. But it’s still a step forward. We would know if the vehicle is speeding. We might be able to tell if a vehicle was in a location it shouldn’t be. We certainly would have the capability to dispatch police to interdict a vehicle and, if necessary, arrest the occupants.”
“A more comprehensive program that would obtain this type of information in situations outside of vehicular travel is something we can work toward,” Strickland envisioned. “Maybe each individual could be implanted with a miniature tracking device. Then everyone could feel confident that their government could find them and take care of them on a 24/7 basis. No one would have to fear that they might be abandoned and alone. Meanwhile, the NHTSA is proud to be an innovator toward this new era.”
In related news, in a series of random stops in Texas, the NHTSA forced motorists to participate in a study aimed at detecting the percentage of impaired drivers on the road. While civil libertarians characterized these stops as “unwarranted invasions of privacy without probable cause,” the NHTSA defended them as “necessary to ensure a random sample of drivers.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/11/23/senate-minority-leader-fighting-mad/
Which part of this is the satire??
You’re building up quite a body of work
More surveillance from the nanny-state - until the election. After that we will see who’s boss.
I’ll probably never again buy a new truck... even if this *is* satire. :-)
I know this is satire, but it’s not that far-fetched, but we still can’t have access to the birth certificate of the US President.
comments. [not satire at all]
Citizens May Increase Federal Vehicle Surveillance
The Sons Of Liberty is drafting regulations that would require all new Federal Govt. cars to be equipped with tracking devices that constantly broadcast the car’s location, direction, speed and, possibly, even the number of passengers it is carrying.
As Sons of liberty explains, “we constantly admonish citizens to watch their servants at all times. Well, this would build on that same principle. How can the Citizens assure their own safety and well-being of Americans if we don’t know where the servants are or what they’re doing at all times?”
The Sons of liberty granted that “the proposed new regulation is only a partial solution. It only deals with when Federal employees and servants of the people people are in their cars. But it’s still a step forward. We would know if the vehicle is speeding. We might be able to tell if a vehicle was in a location it shouldn’t be. We certainly would have the capability to dispatch police to interdict a vehicle and, if necessary, arrest the occupants.”
“A more comprehensive program that would obtain this type of information in situations outside of vehicular travel is something we can work toward,” Sons of Liberty envisioned. “Maybe each Federal servant individual could be implanted with a miniature tracking device. Then everyone could feel confident that the citizens could find their government servants and watch them on a 24/7 basis. No one would have to fear that they might be abandoned and alone. Meanwhile, Sons of Liberty is proud to be an innovator toward this new era.”
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