Posted on 11/12/2011 1:24:43 PM PST by John Semmens
Pressed by Denver Mayor Michael Hancock to select someone to represent them in negotiations with the City, Occupy Denver’s General Assembly elected a three-year-old border collie named Shelby.
This move may have backfired, however, when the Mayor’s office announced that as best they could determine, Shelby has apparently agreed to have every participant in the Occupation spayed or neutered in exchange for unlimited access to the City’s trash bins.
Rex Hund, spokesman for the mayor’s office, labeled the agreement a “win-win” outcome. “From the City’s perspective this will reduce the load on our landfill operations,” Hund pointed out. “To the extent that discarded, but otherwise edible, refuse can be consumed by the protesters the weight of what we have to haul away will decline—boosting the mpg of our trucks. And less space will be needed at the dump.”
“From a broader societal perspective, the spaying and neutering will help with population control,” Hund added. “This should reduce the pressure on social services down the road.”
“Finally, there should also be an environmental payoff, as well, as the burdens imposed on the planet by the human race are reduced,” Hund concluded. “There’ll be fewer emissions from our garbage trucks and landfills. On top of this, the spaying and neutering will enable protesters to enjoy sex without fear of reproduction.”
In related news, the battle against capitalism made some headway on the Occupy Portland front where protesters were able to drive off the providers of port-a-potties through a bold campaign of covert vandalism. Calling the “potties” unnatural, protester Maury Egesta praised “our valiant warriors for a greener world.” The victory over closeted evacuation procedures was achieved despite a debilitating outbreak of lice at the encampment.
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http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/allred-says-cain-hiring-a-lawyer-proves-he%e2%80%99s-guilty/
Damn, I thought they elected Moochelle.
“This should reduce the pressure on Social Services down the road”. LOL!
Put them in a kennel, and if no one claims them in 30 days they can be gassed.
They have much in common with Caligula.
OMG, John. That's one of the funniest 'quips' you've come up with yet. Unless, of course, it's a real person. Even then, it's hysterical!
LOL snort
LOL.
I had to read this twice.
I thought they had hired “Dog” Chapman to “negotiate” with the OWS twits.(He does live there, at least part time) I’d pay real money to see that. Lots of pepper spray, and hand cuffs.
It’d be kinda like the negotiating Bruce Willis did in “The 5th Element” LOL!
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