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Before Max and I are off to the gym. Why do cats sharpen their claws? You may be tempted to fire off a quick, “Duh!” in response to my query, but hold off and hear me out. Sometimes one of my nails will have a tear in it, and hence it will snag on things—sometimes even my sheets, but especially anything knit. When that happens, it drives me nuts to the point that I have to stop whatever I am doing and fix the problem. But there I was, sitting on the bedroom floor and putting on my running shoes,...

9-11 affected many people in many different ways. Heart for Africa is one way one person dealt with that fateful day. Her name is Janine Maxwell and her story is "Its Not Okay With Me". Her story is gut wrenching and mind boggling. My story that follows is a happy, travel adventure for your reading pleasure. I hope you will read both stories, mine for entertainment and her's as a call to action. I hope you visit the website www.heartforafrica.org and make a difference. We are so lucky, so fortunate, to live in the USA. Please don't take that for...

All cats do it. Sometimes Horus makes a REALLY BIG batch of biscuits. I only let it continue for so long because his claws are sharp. Must have been just a couple, maybe some Pillsbury crescent rolls, because he gave my belly a few perfunctory kneads and then flopped down. I am finding it hard to type with his fat cat head draped over my right wrist. Plus he keeps flicking his ears at me for jostling his kitty brains around while I type. Ah, I see his ploy…he wants his paws rubbed. He loves to have his toes massaged....

You’d think the animal never ate. Tobie decided to fix himself a sandwich. Peanut butter and grape jelly. He got out the bread and spread one piece with peanut butter. His next step was to go to the pantry in search of a new jar of jelly. In the five seconds or so it took him to accomplish that task, Tiger had the bread (with peanut butter) off the plate, out of the kitchen and under the dining room table. Fortunately, he kept the peanut butter side up. Being the slow humans that we are, it took us awhile to...

Horus has no clue about Sarah Palin, but he has finely tuned radar for when I want to be cat-imated and when I don’t. Just like every cat ever born, Horus knows when he’s wanted, and he studiously avoids putting himself forward when it suits his human. No. He inserts his patently NOT-TRANSPARENT catself between me and my computer whenever I really have to get something done on the aforementioned device. Like my expense report or my email when I absolutely, positively have to get a message out FIVE SECONDS AGO. (“Horus, you are a DOOR, not a window,” I...

I think the cats are possessed. Or they are part of some vast right-cat conspiracy to overthrow human rule in the Queendom. Data: 1) Cat peed in the washer. IN the empty washer. (Litter boxes are clean.) 2) Yesterday’s bizarre feline encampment in front of Henry’s kennel. 3) Cat just found with head completely inside kitchen sink’s drain. (Note: I did NOT turn on disposal. Perhaps Cat has heard Bob & Tom episode of Mr. Obvious.) 4) Previous episode with feline frontal assault on Henry. 5) Unknown feline assailant also pees in QC’s sink, but only QC’s sink. 5) Cat...

In 1943 during WW2, an army Sgt., Ed Davis, was working in Iran near the Turkish border, in charge of locals hired by our army to build a road through Iran to the Soviet border, which would carry supplies to the Soviets instead of flying them in. In short, Ed did a tremendous favor for a little Kurdish village near Ararat. His workers were mostly Kurds and the chief of the village came to Ed and asked if he would like to see Noah's Ark. He said the summer on the mountain had been hottest in many years and the...

Horus is just pathetic. The look of bathos on his little cat face…he is staring at me from in front of the Great Closet wherein is kept the Wondrous Bag of Kitty Delights. He had his paw under the door, trying to poke a hole in the bottom of the bag, I suspect, and perchance capture a morsel or two. Meanwhile, since the aforesaid closet is adjacent to Henry’s kennel (and Henry is in lock-down for barking and growling at Rocky, who ISN’T EVEN OUTSIDE ANYMORE), Henry feels constrained to alert me periodically to the feline perfidy going on right...

Gwyneth Paltrow has angered PETA, by wearing fur in a new advertising campaign for luxury Italian fashion label Tod’s. The campaign, which was shot in Capri by Mario Testino, features the 35-year-old actress in fox fur and wearing fur-lined boots.

...Where I was going with this, before the little people went off on a tangent, was here: If America were a dog, what kind of dog would she be? Almost before I finished the thought (which was quick, because neurons are nothing if not speedy), a name popped into my head. Cerberus. America would be Cerberus, the three-headed hound that guarded the gates of the underworld. Cerberus is perfect in so many ways; it tickles me to think about it. America for the past century has been guarding the gates of Hell—but keeping the demons in, instead of barring entry...

Lucy is a doll. With kittenish alacrity, she crawls all over my body, up over my head, down my back. I tried to put her inside my sweatshirt and walk out the door with her, but I got nabbed by one of the kids. I am not sure, though, that Queen2 and her QC are ready for cat-land. They seem to be laboring under the delusion that they will be able to keep Lucy downstairs and off the counters. Snort. I do think there is a pet accumulation process that occurs with susceptible households. Right now, we have three cats,...

The Italian Association for the Defense of Animals and the Environment launched an online petition appealing to the Pope not to wear his fur-trimmed robes. Anti-fur protesters have gathered 2,260 signatures for the petition.

http://www.sonnyradio.com/treadmillcats.html

And cute. And cuddly. And playful. Kittens, that is. How do you think we ended up with three? Queen2 called me from the pet store yesterday (rescue kitties, not purchasable kitties). She was “considering” letting the kids get a kitten. After I stopped chortling hysterically, I asked her what she was going to name it and what it looked like. “I’m just THINKING about it,” she asserted. (Queen2’s consort is allergic. “That’s why Pfizer makes Zyrtec,” I told her.) Heh. The kitten comes home today. Once you start “looking” at kittens, all is lost. You get sucked into the great...

Tiger should drag in the neighbors, not the birds. Really—who puts a bird feeder one foot off the ground? No wonder Tiger caught a cardinal. That’s not sporting, and I think Tiger should catch the morons who put our feathered friends in mortal danger. The Queen Consort suggests we’d have problems getting rid of the bodies, since they would be rather larger than the occasional bird or chipmunk corpse, but we are creative people and could come up with something. Wood chippers seem to be versatile outdoor appliances.

I was hoping others would give me their opinion on what kind of dog (okay, mutt) I have adopted from the Humane Society. This pic is him at about 15 months. He's had more spots pop out since then. The adoption people said Australian Cattle Dog and "some kind of shepherd," but I was hoping someone could be more specific. He's very, very energetic, also barrel-chested, barks, howls, watches airplanes fly over, tracks, occasionally points, loves water and is tough as nails. Any input is much appreciated. Thanks.

and the poor Meowser just can’t get the weight off. I am practically starving him to death (well, to hear HIM tell it), yet he remains the Raja of Rotundity. He gobbles down the measly half-scoop of Iams I give him, then turns around and glares at Tiger, who gets more than a full scoop and yet remains svelte and fit. And then there is Jetta, who is bulimic and simply throws up her food every now and then, undigested and whole, like it just came out of the bag.

The Chicago Tribune posted a story in the July 30 edition that highlights the often absurd hyperbole all too common in the language of environmentalists and eco-watchers. The story detailed the findings of scientists studying Lake Michigan and the ecology of the Great Lakes, one of them saying it is in "catastrophic" shape. Native fish and vegetation are being crowded out by new species and the "Great Lakes are at a tipping point" the Trib warns. It's all presented as some major disaster that should alarm us all, as if Mother Nature is being ruined, presumably by man. But a...

There are some animals that I don’t want any part of. Big snakes, big spiders and big ninja monkeys. If I ever become famous, I’m going to hire this guy to protect me. If times get tough, he can double up as my organ grinder. It’ll help make ends meet.

I think Tiger may be the fastest cat on earth, at least of the domestic variety. The unhappily confined feline has made two jail-breaks in the past three days. Neither outing lasted more than 20 minutes (still, clearly enough time to go applaud in Mr. Lee’s frowel bed), but both yielded rather astonishing treasures. At least Tiger saw them as valuable, and he is the Go-To guy for yardpolice duty. Left eviscerated on the back deck on Sunday afternoon was a bullfrog. The slain amphibian must have had dementia and gone missing from home, because we live nowhere near water....

Now we all know that Keith Olbermann is a completely deranged idiot, but the opening seconds of this video shows that he too is a bigoted fool and that Liberal often engage in racism and then try to use humor to cover for it. Image the outrage if someone at Fox had compared Ichiro Suzuki to an escaped zoo chimp, Olbermann would be calling for heads and I am posting this to show another example of the double standard.

I rarely divulge details of my personal life on Zooillogix because, frankly, I am quite a catch and I didn't want female readers leaving their husbands. On July 12th however, I (Andrew - the older and wiser one who still has both hands) got married. I tell you this because something horrible happened shortly before the wedding that directly informs this story: my then fiancee forced me to get a pedicure. For years she has begged me to clickity-clack the raptor claws I call toes down to "Nail Bar" but I staunchly refused, as any self-respecting pretend-zoologist must. She was...

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Sharon Young has designed and sold political buttons and T-shirts for about 15 years now. But maybe she’s been barking up the wrong tree. Her newest creation — campaign buttons for canines — is leading the pack. Patriotic Pets buttons come with slogans such as "Bark Obama for President" and "100 percent McCain9." "I’ve never seen anything like this," says Young, a Smithville, Mo., resident and founder of www.politicalshop.com. "I think it’s probably the biggest product line we’ve ever had. It’s at least a conversation piece. It’s the only one out there."

I was completely flummoxed this morning when Henry started growling and snarling for a prolonged period. I was checking my email, so I wasn’t paying any attention to the world around me. Henry is not a snarler, but there he was: teeth bared, lips drawn back, ears flat, head low to the ground. Very impressive, except that he was backing up and away from…the three cats. I’ve never seen anything like it. Horus was confronting him directly—his tail was as big around as my forearm—and he was advancing! Tiger had the left flank, and Jetta the right. Henry finally hid...

Wikipedia used to have "Obama, Jr." and now has changed to "Obama II" in the wake of the COLB. (hat tip Larwyn). Over at JOM Is there anything in Obama's books? I notice that the NYT back in 1990 referred to both father and son as simply "Barack Obama." An excerpt from a noteworthy 2007 Obama speech: There was something stirring across the country because of what happened in Selma, Alabama, because some folks are willing to march across a bridge. So they got together and Barack Obama Jr. was born. So don't tell me I don't have a claim...

KCRA - SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- More than 70,000 consumers complained about third-party debt collectors in 2007, but one Sacramento couple said they have good reason to bark about the bill they received. Steve Fanelli received a bill from AFNI collections claiming an Andy Fanelli owes Verizon Online $142.34. And although Steve Fanelli does indeed live with an Andy Fanelli, there is a small, furry problem with the bill. Andy Fanelli is Steve Fanelli's dog. more

Yesterday was not a good day to get in my face. Nonetheless, Mr. Lee, our neighbor from the adjoining cul-de-sac and several houses south of us, picked the evening of Tuesday, July 8th as the optimum time (for him, evidently) to inform me that he intends to put out a contract on Tobie’s cat, Tiger. I think Mr. Lee’s learning curve is steep enough that he will not be ringing my doorbell again any time soon. See, I spent the entire day in the emergency room with my little brother, his wife and his 7 year old daughter. When little...

We met back in the early 90’s, December of ‘92 to be exact. I just had a major blowout with my first, somewhat dysfunctional family and decided that it was best for all if I just left. My foster dad gave me a ride to nowhere that ended up at a boarding house in Albany, NY. The place was great, warm with plenty of company, and their cheesy poof biscuits were to die for. On the downside, it was loud and smelly, not unlike me. Even a lowly pug could smell her coming from miles away. It was Monday, as...

This animated video, with a flowery and busy hummingbird scene has been created to inspire others to get busy for the Lord Jesus and what His will is for their lives. The Scriptures given are taken from the King James Version of the New Testament and the verses are Hebrews 11:6, Luke 2:49 and Romans 12:2. The music is an instrumental of the hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour”.

Whoops forgot link...APALACHICOLA, Fla. (CBS) - A Florida Fish and Wildlife biologist pulled off a daring rescue Saturday in the Panhandle: He rescued a bear with his bare hands. Officials say a 375-pound male black bear was seen roaming a residential neighborhood near Alligator Point, a neighborhood of about 100 homes on a small peninsula about 40 miles south of Tallahassee. The bear was hit with a tranquilizer dart, but he managed to bolt.. http://boknowsonline.com/2008/07/02/bear-ly-saved/

I did, actually, pay $1,200 for a cat. No one (except Queen2 in a shame-faced and astonishing confession at dinner one night: “All right! I confess! I bought Eliott at the pet store!) pays for one of a species of animal that people can’t even give away. One gladly forks over cash for a purebred dog of reasonable size. We have noted previously that canines have useful qualities and vocations. But cats? Of the 10 felines that have graced my life in over four decades, not one has cost us more than the pittance of a spay/neuter fee at the...

Humans are thoughtless and cruel. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but did you know their thoughtlessness goes back many, many years? Check out this invention by some innovator type from back in the thirties. I like how this article from the June, 1936 issue of Popular Mechanics starts out… (When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car…

Pig humor with a moral, the moral is, a pig is a pig and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

HOW TO START YOUR CAR WITH A DOG (A breakdown patrol man who came to the rescue of a woman motorist has managed to get her car started using her dog.) How do you start a car with a dog? I guess you can stick its tail in the ignition and see if it starts or maybe attach the car to the dog like a rickshaw and pop it into gear when it gets rolling fast enough. What other solutions could there be? (Juliette Piesley, 39, had changed the battery in her electronic key...

You ever have one of those itches that you just can’t reach? It’s frustrating, especially when you don’t have anybody around to scratch it for you. It looks as if the dog in this video has figured out a way for a self service back scratch. Oooohh that looks like it feels good…just look at those legs twitching!!

Day in and day out, I get served slop in a bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I guess it’s not so much slop as it is dry hard pellets that taste like cardboard and lamb. So imagine my surprise when my old man pulled his chair up to the computer and surfed over to blissful biscuits to order me my very own Heaven Scent Pizza. I drooled uncontrollably as my father read me the ingredients…whole wheat flour, carrots, celery, parmesan cheese, garlic, basil, etc. No additives whatsoever. Sure it didn’t have any lard, but this pie tastes and smells...

David Letterman Stupid Pet Tricks I don’t know why, but when we walk on treadmills it makes us twice as cute as we normally are. Don’t believe me? Take a gander…http://boknowsonline.com/2008/02/01/walk-on-the-wild-side/

As a canine, there’s something satisfying about watching this video. I have to say, these are folks that see the water bowl as half full instead of half empty. Maybe there’s hope for humanity after all. Let the games begin…Click more to watch the video....http://boknowsonline.com/2008/02/29/doody-olympians/

This is an animated video revealing a magnificent moment of a hummingbird amidst a flowerily scene and has been redone to appear more realistic and peaceful.

Bo (woof) In Product Review: Kong-every dog knows what it is. It’s the iPod for the canine set. But is it really all it’s cracked up to be? Well read this review and find out. How did the greatest invention in canine treat history, The Kong, come about? Well, it begins with a German Sheppard named Fritz, his owner and a Volkswagen Van. Fritz, a police dog, enjoyed chewing rocks to relieve the stress of the day. This activity wore Fritz’s teeth down, frustrating his owner Joe Markham as well as his dentist, Dr. Christian Szel One afternoon while working...

Bo (woof) In Commentary: If the old adage “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” is true, then Boris, the bull mastiff, is going to have one tough landing. Why do I say this? Because Boris can be seen from outer space! That, my friends, is big! (Most owners worry about losing their dogs if they slip through the front door - but with Boris, the bull mastiff, it is unlikely to be a major concern. The dog, which weighs in at a stagger 14 stone, is so large he can even be spotted from space...(con't @ http://boknowsonline.com/2008/06/12/myspace-from-space/)

When I came downstairs this morning, there was a noisy protest raging- right on my patio. This before I had even tasted my morning coffee !

It was bad enough to walk out into blazing heat this morning, but the political banner strung across my patio was too much !!

Bo (woof) In Commentary: For all you old timers out there, do you remember how excited you used to get when it was time for a car ride? Check out this pup as he gets the question, “Wanna go for a ride? ” Note the sounds of a jealous, car door opening challenged cat in the background.....http://boknowsonline.com/2008/04/18/wanna-go-for-a-ride/

These cats residing in and around the FEMA Diamond trailer park in Port Sulphur, La., enjoyed a meal in what appears to be a trash can lid last week. Where they are this week is anyone's guess.

Four weeks after quadruple coronary bypass and with THAT story told, time to pay attention to things that bring about an upbeat attitude. Not to mention an emotion so strong that it equates to nothing less than what life is all about and the joy of being able to live it. First, the state bird of Georgia decided to build a nest in my hedge roses. I was just so honored. We've got pics of both the hedge roses what took over the world and the Brown Thrasher which so availed itself of that thorny bush. Second, a video garden...

This video was arranged and animated to the song, Hallelujah, sung by: The Five Blind Boys of Alabama. The Merlin falcon and its song are arranged in autumn scenery.

As I sit here behind this laptop, I now realize that this definitely wasn’t the brightest idea I have ever had. I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I...

(TOKYO - When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught - recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help. Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbor’s roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said.) I imagine, while being kept at the police station, the parrot was banging his cage with a tin cup yelling, “Let...

Bo (woof) In Commentary: The following story sounds a little fishy to me. Is he on the drug to help his heart or his self confidence? You be the judge… (Talisker, a border collie, was living on borrowed time after vets found his heart had become dangerously enlarged. The dog, three, from Yardley Hastings, Northamptonshire, passes out when he gets excited because his blood cannot pump quickly enough around his body. But, since taking Viagra , the blood flow to Talisker’s heart has improved, according to owner Lesley Strong, 58.) I understand the worry about the heart becoming dangerously enlarged,...