Curly: Hawaii?
Moe: I'm fine
Larry: No! I'm Fine!
Moe: Who's talking to you Einstein? Why I ought to...
Posted on 10/23/2010 12:10:00 PM PDT by smokingfrog
Subject: So Dumb You Can Only Smile
A DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2.I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ...''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa '' his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5.An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii ... After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman ( John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal..''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
Not sure if any of it is true, but wouldn't doubt it a bit.
I’ve heard a few of these jokes before. These are not things said by these congressmen/women.
Sad, isn't it? When you aren't suprised by utter, abject stupidity from the leaders of your country.
You know it’s probably true. I loved each and every one of these.
According to snopes.com, it’s false.
I was just going to check, but you saved me the trouble.
Oh, well. It’s funny anyway.
http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp (hope you have a good pop-up blocker)
These probably have been heard by travel agents/ticket agents somewhere at sometime.
My husband is a tier 3 manager IT tech support for the government and you should hear some of his stories. LOL
For once, Snopes is (probably) right. These are all as unlikely as:
"the interior of the earth is extremely hot, several million degrees" - Al Gore
Or the VP's alleged comment on GOP campaign spending this year: "I was amazed at the amount of money, this $200 billion of money that is — where there’s no accountability," he said. "When I say accountability, we don’t know where it’s coming from. There’s no disclosure, so the folks watching the ad can’t make a judgment based upon motive when you say it’s paid for by so-and-so." - Joe Biden
Or the silly words attributed to the Speaker: "But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy." – Nancy Pelosi
What are the chances that a politician playing at the national level would say anything that stupid?
It is funny; what’s scary is that it’s easy to believe such things when you hear concern for Guam tipping over from a congressman (or just about anything Carol McKinney used to say)!
Apparently, Democrats devolve the longer they’re in the party.
While these anecdotes may be made up, the fact that our Congress includes people who think Guam will tip over, that we’ve planted a flag on Mars, and their House bank accounts can’t be overdrawn if they still have checks in the book makes it entirely believable. These are some of the stupidest people our country has to offer and it is our shame that they occupy the offices they do.
IT support you can get a lot of stupid calls. One of the most oft repeated is the guy who couldn't figure out why his computer wouldn't start up and finally the IT asked him to look behind the computer and see if it was plugged in, the customer said he couldn't see back there because the power was out.
Rep. Hank Johnson is afraid that the U.S. Territory of Guam is going to "tip over and capsize" due to overpopulation.
Another time was at a postal substation during the Christmas mailing rush. The woman ahead of me did not know the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) and the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) — this was in the 1970s when the Cold War was going on. The clerk was perplexed and didn't know either. I asked where the package was bound — it was a city in West Germany. Then I had to explain to both the woman and the clerk that the FRG (West Germany) were the good guys and the DDR (East Germany) were the bad guys.
These dummies not only breed, but they also vote.
I have probably provided a couple of those stories myself. ;) I am a computer illiterate who is blessed to have my own personal expert. my dear husband.
One evening I was having trouble so I called my husband who was at work. He said, “honey I’m busy and can’t help you at the moment, call the computer company”. So I call and get some guy in India,whom I couldn’t understand nor could he understand me. That was just the start of the problem. All he knew was to read off of a script to diagnose my problem. Well my issue wasn’t on his script, lol so finally in exasperation, his and mine, he passed me on to some other guy who at least spoke English but couldn’t seem to understand my problem either. He wanted to speak technical to me and I wanted it in laywoman language. LOL After a good long time of speaking past each other he passed me on. I was passed on to a few more people when suddenly I was disconnected. I bet they think I thought it was an accident, but I know better.
Luckily for me my dh regretting that he had inflicted me on some other help desk, had a break and called me. He was able to diagnose and lead me through fixing my problem. He speaks my language perfectly. He said he figured I had given some IT guy a headache and something to talk about.
I’ve heard a few of them myself. After the first couple, you realized you’re being had.
That was a classic!
True story.
My dad could not serve in WW2 because he was deaf in one ear. He was working at the post office, grabbed a package & his fingers went right into it and foul fluid and smell came out.
Someone’s Mom had tried to mail her son a cooked turkey all the way to Europe!
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