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DUmmie FUnnies 4-21-08 (Nora Ephron asks the HUffies about "White Men")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 21, 2008 | Nora Ephron and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 04/21/2008 5:34:31 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Whomever the Democratics nominate this time, it will be a first: It will NOT be a white male (unless you count Barry as half-white or Hillary as ha--uh, let's not go there). Identity Politics has driven the Democrat race. Guilt-wracked whites, wanting to appear enlightened, have supported the clean and articulate Magic Negro. They were joined finally by blacks, when Bill's dismissive South Carolina comments made them decide Barack was black enough. Meanwhile, old feminist teacher-union types have been supporting Hillary!.

But Identity Politics will not be enough to win in November. In order to succeed, the Dem candidate will HAVE TO attract some degree of the white male vote. So now, on the eve of the Pennsylvania primary, the Keystone State becomes a test case. Will Barry's recent gaffes hurt him with Typical White Persons? Will Operation Chaos crossover voters help Hillary? Which of the two can woo the Pennsylvania Democrats who, to quote an MSNBC description, are "Hunters, Bowlers, Beer Drinkers, and Gun Owners"?

But before we continue, let us first thank Barry for his commments about small-town folk being "bitter" and "clinging to guns and religion." This was a master stroke, Barry, to ensure that Operation Chaos will continue! And even if you get the nomination, this will haunt you in the general election! So here is my brand-new musical tribute, "My Bitter Town." Click the tune and sing along!

MY BITTER TOWN
Tune: "My Little Town" Original

In my little town
We grow up by clingin'
To God and the gun on the wall
And we welcome strangers warmly
If they bear a likeness to us all
Angry and small
My bitter town

Comin' home from the Klan
Burnin' a cross on the lawns
Of the immigrants
Our town holdin' a rally
Wearin' our sheets
With the pointy hats

We take off our robes
For the square dance
And none of the dancers are black
It's not that the dancers aren't square
It's just a pigmentation we lack
Everyone's a redneck
In my bitter town

Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town

In my bitter town
I never vote Democrat
I'm just a Republican
Drivin' my pick-up
Pickin' a brick up
Typical right-winger
See me clingin' to my gun

Seein' nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town . . .

Who can win these bitter whites? Lefty writer Nora Ephron ("When Harry Met Sally," "Silkwood," "Sleepless in Seattle") takes up this question in her HUffPo THREAD, "White Men." In less than 24 hours, Nora's diary has elicited literally a THOUSAND comments from the HUffies! This is way more than I can read, and there's enough here just with Nora! Nora! Nora!

So let us now proceed with her White-Men bashing, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your guest correspondent, longtime white male Charles Henrickson, wondering if Li'l Beaver will be allowed to vote in Beaver Falls, is in the [Barackets]:

it's suddenly horribly absolutely crystal-clear that this is an election about gender and race.

[Thank you, Comrade Obvious.]

This is an election about whether the people of Pennsylvania hate blacks more than they hate women.

[It's about whether DEMOCRATS hate blacks or women more. All the HillAryans are racists, and all the Obambats are sexists!]

And when I say people, I don't mean people, I mean white men.

[Oh, I forgot: Only WHITE MEN can be racist or sexist! And apparently, white men do not qualify as "people."]

To put it bluntly, the next president will be elected by them. . . .

[To put it more bluntly: President McCain.]

the outcome of Tuesday's primary will depend on whether they go for Hillary or Obama. . . .

[Tough choice. When was the last time a white man went for Hillary? Or to put it another way, how old is Chelsea?]

white men cannot be relied on, as all of us know who have spent a lifetime dating them.

[When was the last time a white man went for you, Nora?]

As for the Democratic hope that McCain's temper will be a problem, don't bet on it. A lot of white men have terrible tempers, and what's more, they think it's normal.

[SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' MOUTH!!!]

If Hillary pulls it out in Pennsylvania, and she could, and if she follows it up in Indiana, she can make a credible case that she deserves to be the candidate. . . .

[WHEEEEEEE!!!!!! Isn't Operation Chaos FUn?!]

these last primaries will show which of the two Democratic candidates is better at overcoming the bias of a vast chunk of the population. . . .

[How do you figure, Nora? If they vote for Hillary, they're racist. If they vote for Barry, they're sexist. They're biased either way!]

Hillary's case is not an attractive one. . . .

[Her "case"? Is that short for "pantsuit-face-voice-and-body"?]

what she'll essentially be saying . . . is that she can attract more racist white male voters than Obama can.

[All your racist white male base are belong to us!]

Hillary is the true whack-a-mole. . . .

[She takes a licking and keeps on ticking!]

if she survives on Tuesday, it will be a whole new ballgame. And it will be all because of white men.

[WOO-HOO! White men rule!!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bitter; clinton; dufu; dummiefunnies; dummies; ephron; hillary; huffies; nora; obama; pennsylvania; whitemen
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Nora is a typical liberal person.


1 posted on 04/21/2008 5:34:32 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

TYPICAL WHITE PING!


2 posted on 04/21/2008 5:36:09 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson
white men cannot be relied on, as all of us know who have spent a lifetime dating them.

So why didn't you try dating some black men Nora? You racist!

3 posted on 04/21/2008 5:41:51 PM PDT by Argus (Obama: All turban and no goats.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Nora, Nora. Don’t you worry yer little head about stuff like politics. Fetch me a beer.


4 posted on 04/21/2008 5:50:39 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Charles Henrickson

Dear Nora,

Did you ever wonder whay YOU spent a lifetime dating white men? Perhaps the answer is that white men want to have not part of the likes of your @%$^$%^&^&*&*(^*)()_())_+)_+_+^$%^@$%^%^&#%$^#$%^&%^& crap.

So take heed. You may not like it, we “White Men” still rule. Remember the Golden Rule Nora: “He who has the gold, rules.” Bwaa Hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa Haaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Beotch!


5 posted on 04/21/2008 5:52:04 PM PDT by roaddog727 (BS does not get bridges built - the funk you see is the funk you do)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Into the Top Ten like LeBron into the lane for a slam


6 posted on 04/21/2008 5:55:38 PM PDT by E Rocc (Resident smartass and Myspace Freepers group moderator. (http://groups.myspace.com/freepers))
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To: Billthedrill
Nora, Nora. Don’t you worry yer little head about stuff like politics. Fetch me a beer.

IRON MY SHIRT!

7 posted on 04/21/2008 6:00:27 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Nora! Nora! Nora!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Heartburn...


8 posted on 04/21/2008 6:03:11 PM PDT by latina4dubya
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To: Charles Henrickson
Whomever the Democratics nominate this time, it will be a first: It will NOT be a white male (unless you count Barry as half-white or Hillary as ha--uh, let's not go there).

Hillary has only got one ball.

9 posted on 04/21/2008 6:17:04 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Hillary has only got one ball.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Libs are going to be basket cases come November 5th... doom and disbelief will be just setting in... may not recover from this one... shrug!!!


10 posted on 04/21/2008 6:19:15 PM PDT by xtinct (I was the next door neighbor kid's imaginary friend.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Bill's dismissive South Carolina comments made them decide Barack was black enough.

Hubby Billy's are so very small.

11 posted on 04/21/2008 6:20:27 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Hubby Billy's are so very small.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Great parody, Charles. Best yet, IMO.

if she survives on Tuesday, it will be a whole new ballgame. And it will be all because of white men.

So...do I assume that white men are more racist than sexist?

12 posted on 04/21/2008 6:23:52 PM PDT by HoosierHawk
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To: Charles Henrickson
Identity Politics has driven the Democrat race.

Dr. Deanie is a big weenie,

13 posted on 04/21/2008 6:28:14 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Dr. Deanie is a big weenie,)
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To: Charles Henrickson
if she survives on Tuesday, it will be a whole new ballgame.

Poor Obama has no balls at all!

14 posted on 04/21/2008 6:30:58 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Poor Obama has no balls at all!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Another great song parody. BTW, didn’t Nora Ephron get DUmped by a well-known writer?


15 posted on 04/21/2008 6:51:43 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I thought she was married to the writer of “Good fellas”
16 posted on 04/21/2008 6:54:36 PM PDT by angcat (Indian name "She who yells too much")
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To: angcat

I think she wrote a book about it.


17 posted on 04/21/2008 6:56:09 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

She is a barf bag. Rush had mentioned today that she was not bad looking. I was curious to see her picture. I was frightened.


18 posted on 04/21/2008 7:03:14 PM PDT by angcat (Indian name "She who yells too much")
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To: Charles Henrickson
Nice picture of a food line during break at a Square Dance.

Are you a square dancer? Apparently your picture comes from Tony Oxedine’s site, for square dancers and callers.

Looks fairly typical, however.

19 posted on 04/21/2008 7:08:55 PM PDT by NathanR (Obama: More 'African' than 'American'.)
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To: roaddog727

I bet she dated blind white men.


20 posted on 04/21/2008 7:13:08 PM PDT by ShandaLear (Extremists always meet each other full circle.)
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