Posted on 11/03/2004 4:26:01 PM PST by PJ-Comix
It’s too bad you commoners can’t enter the DUmmie site today to view the utter dejection and desolation that has infected them. However, as a DUmmie of long standing, I have the privilege to enter the hallowed halls of DUmmieland and surreptitiously harvest the comedic bounty presented here for your entertainment. In this THREAD a certain Mike Niendorff rages Lear-like into the night. BTW, isn’t Mike Niendorff a Hobbit character? Surely he wasn’t so unimaginative as to use his own name for a screen name? No matter. Sit back, dig into the popcorn, and enjoy the entertainment. The DUmmie FUnnies show is about to begin. As usual the DUmmie rages are in Bolshevik Red while the chuckling by your humble correspondent in the balcony is in the [brackets]:
Payback time.
Yeah, I'm serious.
There are 50 million of us who are *pissed as hell* about this.
Fifty Million.
[Thus spaketh one Mike Niendorff, Raging DUmmie Extraordinaire.]
We have credit cards, and bank accounts, and grocery lists.
We go to the movies, the restaraunt. We go out dancing.
We go on vacations, we buy airline tickets, we buy gas for our cars.
We are the consumers in this country.
We are the economy of America.
[We have dandruff, and laundry lint, and bad breath.
We go to the bathroom, we buy dental floss, we buy kitty litter for our cats.
We are…We are…We…We …We!!!]
You f*ck with our freedom, we f*ck with you.
[Hey Mike! Isn’t this from the “Scarface” script or is it some other flick I’m thinking of?]
Did a business donate to Bush? Then f*ck them. They're blacklisted. Permanently. Let them die. Let them rot
[Pillage their palaces. Loot their treasuries. Burn their homes to the ground. Then watch them die… And then watch me take my meds, Mike.]
Did a customer donate to that piece of shit? Same deal. Let them rot.
[Hold on, Mike! Just hold on! The lithium treatment is ON THE WAY!]
We do your labor, we buy your goods, we keep you afloat, and THIS is how you repay us? F*ck that. It's over. The deal is off. You f*cked us one too many times.
[While you’re at it, Mike, could you do my laundry?]
Let them rot.
There is no further compromise. They have declared war on all of us, on all of our futures, on all of our children
[Has anyone ever told you, Mike, that your eyes have a charming twinkle when you are enraged beyond belief?]
They are the enemy. I will do no further business with them. Ever. They think they can f*ck us and still expect our support? Hell no. Enough is enough. It's payback time. In spades.
[Sooo, Mike. Does this mean you won’t be detailing my Mercedes next week?]
The proletariat revolution? I like it.
[KEWL! I think I’ll get me a new Che Guevara T-Shirt.]
Put a few Republican-owned businesses on a list and throw a f*cking dart if we have to. Then tell me what business your dart hit. They'll never see my face again.
[Promises, promises, Mike.]
And I don't care if it's "unfair", or if "others are worse". F*ck them all. They don't deserve fairness. They deserve payback. It's long overdue.
[Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Bored.]
we must be united, with leaders and a plan!
[De plan, Boss! De plan!]
I vote for Michael Moore as our leader.
[I vote for Michael Moore as our chef.]
Don't forget the states that approved the gay marriage ban and red states in general - they must pay!
[Spray paint their state flags with beige!]
No vacations to the Red States....
[No problem here giving up Florida beaches for the Jersey shore.]
"Alternative culture" that the RW set up. Well, we can do better than that. We won't just have some left wing version of the "Left Behind books". What if we could start a whole left wing economy?
[And call it Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.]
For chrissake, "alternative culture" is what we progressives DO BEST. We've been doing it for as long as I can remember, and we're GREAT at it. We write the music, we make the films, we write the books, we write the poems, and the best they can produce is cheap knock-offs and bland caricatures. There is so much they are dependent on us for: business, labor, art, community, you name it. It's time they started realizing that the people they are f*cking with are more than capable of cutting them out, and that we have LONG memories.
[Great idea! I’m already printing up bootleg Alternative Culture T-Shirts.]
It's now or never, people. Now or never.
[Why do I have the funny feeling that the NEVER will be outweighing the NOW?]
Sorry to say but I have to include christian churches on the black list as well. They voted for this dim son, they bought into his "you're either with us or against us." Well, I understand not all christians are behind Bush, but they also don't speak out against their far right fringe. So screw all em. No more donations, and I will fight against their crazy beliefs and fight to change people's views. It's time to go up against these nutty fundies and take em to task.
[I’m sure your withholding of coins from the collection plate will have a profound effect.]
especially the f*cking Catholics. there is no such thing as a "progressive Catholic" anymore. either you are with us or against us. if you are Catholic and do not repudiate your church, you are against me, at least.
[Satan, I Repuke thee!]
I think Lowe's contributed to the moron. I know our local True Value Hardware store is staffed by Jesus freaks; I assume also owned by one. My favorite grocery store is owned by a Left Behinder.
[And my corner adult video store is owned by a Presbyterian.]
We have the resources here at DU to do it, easily. We have the numbers, we have the board, we have state forums…
[…We have mental problems…]
Republican products and services are crap. I never bought into their material lies any more than their spiritual lies.
[Republican products---Easily identified by a small “R” inside of a circle on almost all product labels.]
Payback's a bitch. What do fascists care about more than power and wealth (an extension of power)? Well, take it away from them folks. F*ck em.
[Payback’s an itch if you boycott jock itch powders.]
The important thing is to straighten up, and don't let them make Democrats look like caricatures anymore, that's what turned off mainstream Democrats. Rove made people think of Democrats as America hating traitors to those who didn't know any better, that's what needs to be addressed here, and that's what lost the election.
[Democrats looking like caricatures of crazy America hating traitors? Now where could anybody get a wild idea like that?]
The weapons that we dems have in common, and that the neocons appear to lack, are creative, analytical, adaptable thinking minds.
[Unfortunately, the term “rational minds” is notably absent there.]
Dr. King's bus strike Brought Montgomery to its knees....
[Great plan there, hotshot. Lefty Beemers boycotting buses they never ride on. That is sure to work…..snark!]
We can determine which of these repuke supporters are the weakest, and then single them out and deal with 'em. We can build a culture of resentment against the bastards who take people's homes, jobs and medicine away.
[Building a “culture of resentment?” Ah! The power of positive thinking!]
let's go.. I'm all for boycott. Was going to post www.shoptodropbush but it seems it's not working today.
[A portent of the future, perhaps?]
I don't see any love........
PING!
Best I can tell that would be buying SUVs and falling for the "fair trade coffee" scam at Starbucks.
Don't be hatin'!
pj pj pj pj
Thank you sooo much -- I once again have tears of laughter. It's hard to say what is funnier, the post or your insightful commentary!
Suffice it to say we appreciate your underground efforts.
(I tried to do the same a few months ago, but slipped and got myself tombstoned - DOH!)
Oh my...that's a tad irrational now, isn't it?
This is starting to sound like the nutjob who was the lead character in the movie "Fight club"
This one is hilarious!
Some of them are really turning on Kerry too. He dared to concede when they wanted Florida 2 with real blood this time.
And I don't have to visit your over price pachouli scented New Age craptastic boutique. Strike that I never visited it anyway hahahahahahahahahaha Starbuck workers, you're next. bwahahahahahahahahaha
These people are terribly irrational. Red staters don't LIKE their "art" or movies or even their ideas. That's why they LOST.
Thus placed my obligatory DUmmie FUnnies book troll on this thread.
What are these nuts going to do, walk in a store and ask if it is owned by Republicans? LOL. These people are so funny!
They are so blinded by their hatred...they just can't see that THEY are the reason they keep losing! They don't understand that THEY are not American.
Hey...that's good for us!
This has got to be one of your best efforts - With a great assist from the lunatic left that now runs the democratic party. Great stuff!
The weapons that we dems have in common, and that the neocons appear to lack, are creative, analytical, adaptable thinking minds.
How is it then, OH WISE ONE, that we kicked your asses last night?
P.S. I need on this list!
How noble and sacrificial. He is going to end his perfect attendance at Sunday School in protest.
I am as deeply touched as his fevered mind!
I just smiled real big and laughed my ass off!
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