DUmmie FUnnies 10-30-04 ("God Forbid - But If We Lose...")

Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | October 30, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

In today’s edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, we get a sneak preview of the Mental Meltdown the DUmmies will be suffering on Election Night if when Kerry loses. In this THREAD the DUmmies discuss their post-election plans if the Bush Fascist Regime remains in power. Of course, they keep telling themselves this won’t be happening but it’s funny they keep making plans for just that situation. As usual, the ranting DUmmie lunacy is in Bolshevik Red while the wry observations of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

God Forbid - But If We Lose...

[It CAN’T happen. MUSTN’T happen. But IF it does happen (but it musn’t) then…]

Do you plan to:

1. Revolt - Civil War
2. Move To Another County - If So, Which?
3. Change To A "3rd" party
4. Nothing

[5. Screech so loud that you crap in your diaper.]

start pressing for California secession. It'll be time to Constitutionally secede then, imho.

[Don’t forget to annex Tijuana while you’re at it.]

Hey, you need to take Oregon and Washington with you. We'll call it Ecotopia.

[aka Fruit’n’Nutia.]

We are not welcome anywhere...now. Antarctica, maybe?

[Nope! Even the penguins hate DUmmies.]

Civil war is not an impossibility. Real peace is possible only if Kerry wins...and then it will be a long-shot.

[DUmmie Revolt! DUmmie Revolt! The DUmmies are revolting!---You said it! They STINK on ice.]

We have a farm besides where we live, which is in a small town. We went ahead and paid for it, and if Bush is reelected, we plan to move out into the country and get as independent of "things" as we can. We have friends who are thinking of moving to Germany. This is so awful!

[The horror! The HORROR!]

thought about it. If they stole the election again, I would stay and fight. But if it turned out the true majority wanted BushCo, I would seek refuge in Canada, Sweden or Norway. Not a snowball's chance that is the case, though. But that's NOT going to happen. Kerry's going to win because we are continuing to work hard and see to it.

[Kerry is NOT going to lose. He CAN’T lose. Somebody out there, please give me reassurance that Kerry won’t lose! HELP MEEEE!!!!]

I intend to keep fighting the good fight. In my opinion, there is a very real possibility that bush will remain as President.

[And that DUmmie WINS a Kewpie doll for having a sense of electoral realism!]

Think positive. We're going to win so big that George Bush will think he was gang raped in a Turkish prison.

[But, just in case, better give Kerry a jar of Vaseline.]

no, No, NO! No talk about losing now. Too much to do. If the outcome is contested, even more to do. If, after all that, things still look bad, then there will be plenty of time to discuss what happens next.

[EEEEK! Kerry MUST NOT lose. Can’t think about that possibility! If it comes true I’m gonna LOSE MIND….and provide great material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Just make sure our voices continue to echo throughout the world. They can't take away our voices, no matter what kind of laws they pass, no matter how hard they try. Should the day end in darkness we will still be united.

[The Bolsheviks, united, can NEVER be defeated!]

if bush wins, i will buy, and learn to use, a very very large gun. and plenty of ammo.

[Thank you, maxsolomon, for thoughtfully providing your screen name. It shouldn’t be too hard to track down your real name for placement on the Terror Watch List.]

Not going to lose. That's my mind-set right now. We are **not** going to lose.

[NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT ..…So why am I so nervous? ….. NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT!]

I think the whole nation should secede from DC. Leave Bush behind as President of Capitol Hill and let the rest of us frame a new Constitution and a new PNAC free government.

[Hold tight! Your lithium treatment is ON THE WAY!]

It may be a win-win situation in the long run.... If Bush stays in office his continuing foreign policy is likely to fail miserably, America will become even more ostracized in the world, and America will become even more divided than ever before. In the long run, this could irreparably harm the Republican party for decades to come. Bush can step down now and leave the office in peace, or, if he stays in office, will have to face charges of international war crimes and, probably, impeachment.

[See! Even you DUmmies can celebrate the Bush win on Election Day. It will be a “win-win situation.” WHEEEEEE!!!!]

Fondly Recall The Days Before Facism In America . . .

[Those were the Days, My Friend. I THOUGHT they’d Never End!]

[PJ-Comix]

This is but a tiny SNEAK PREVIEW of the DUmmie Mental Meltdown on Election Night and the Day After. Their electoral ANGST will be fully covered in MANY special editions of the DUmmie FUnnies on those days. Be sure NOT to miss out on the FUN by asking to be placed on the PING List.

[PJ-Comix]

PING!

[ken5050]

Instead of 10,000 lawyers, the Dems are gonna need 10,000 mental health professionals working the suicide hot lines..

[bitt]

I bet you were the fresh kid that always said, "I know you are, but what am I?" when your sisters were screaming at you...

It has prepared you for your important and cherished work here at FR. Thanks.

[RandallFlagg]

Thanks for the ping.

I wonder if any of them read this.

And on that note, I wonder if Ashcroft's people are reading their stuff....

Whatever happens, we all should document what they say if it crosses the line of legality.

I will be.

[PJ-Comix]

I bet you were the fresh kid that always said, "I know you are, but what am I?" when your sisters were screaming at you...

Actually I was a kid who sat thru a late night viewing of the silent version (Lon Chaney) of "The Phantom of the Opera." Since it was silent I couldn't resist doing some loud commentary to the laughter of the movie theater audience. When the flick was over the theater manager called me over. I thought he would bawl me out. Instead he offered me free popcorn and soda if I would continue my movie heckling of this flick in the future. It was the memory of that incident that inspired the DUmmie FUnnies.

[bitt]

great story - suits your pur-suits!

[maggief]

Thanks for the ping.

Big Betty gave us the heads up. See my tagline.

[Blue Scourge]

Civil war is not an impossibility.

Liberals against Conservatives in a civil war...what does he want to commit suicide...we have all the guns. :)

[daguberment]

let the rest of us frame a new Constitution

Oh, good grief, can you imagine what that "constitution" would look like:

We the gay and transgendered People of ectopia, in Order to form a more new hip-hop Union, establish Justice (for some of us), insure domestic partnerships, provide for the common support of the United Nations, promote general Welfare benefits, and secure Liberty for those we agree with, do establish this Constitution for the United territories of ectopia.

[San Jacinto]

start pressing for California secession. It'll be time to Constitutionally secede then, imho.

Uh-oh. I just agreed with a DUmmie. I'm concerned.

[45semi]

This is a hoot!
"if bush wins, i will buy, and learn to use, a very very large gun. and plenty of ammo. "

This heres a wakeup call...us radical right religious rednecks have always had guns, were practically born with one in our hand!
We've been deer, turkey, bear, alligator, etc hunting since we were little kids.
Now, you go ahead and get yer gun, and bang away at bottles in yer backyard!
Reading a medical book, buying a scalpel, and slicing a ham with it dont make ya a surgeon!
Yeah, you get yer gun...go out and bag yerself some FReepers if ya can!
Yer still gonna end up like Ned Beatty in Deliverance!,
cept it'll be the business end of a liberal-despised automatic weapon in yer O-ring thats makin ya squeal like a pig!
Then again, if ya got a purty mouth...

[stylin19a]

Good Grief......these yahoos don't even know when to use the word "when" as opposed to "if".

[Travis McGee]

CW2 Ping

if bush wins, i will buy, and learn to use, a very very large gun. and plenty of ammo.

Note to DUmmies: we have an 80 million gun head start, and we already know how to use them.

[Sivad]

Revolt? Those sissies are already revolting.

[infidel29]

How many of these DUmmies were on the "child left behind" list? I was aware that intellect was proportional to party affiliation, but these morons know nothing about politics, less of geography and law and further less of spelling and grammar.

[infidel29]

"thought about it. If they stole the election again..." the reason why they`re pissed in the first place is they cheated in 2000 and lost anyways. Now they have the nerve to suggest we are going to "steal it again"?

[Squantos]

Buy a gun ?!?!?!?

It's against the law to sell to mentally ill folks isn't it ? ........that includes every rat bastrad supporting Kerry.

[thingumbob]

Come on make em' squeal liiike a pig......come on squeal piggy!

[atomicpossum]

Interesting that the thought of a Bush win has brought a DUmmy around to the belief that the 2nd Amendment protects the right of a citizen to arm himself against the abuses of the government.