Posted on 11/29/2023 6:33:36 PM PST by george76
DUBLIN — Ireland's Prime Minister Leo Varadkar announced that under the nation's new hate speech laws, asking an immigrant to stop stabbing you will now be considered a hate crime.
"We will not tolerate racist slurs such as, 'Please, stop stabbing me, I'm dying'. That sort of hate has no home here in Ireland," said Varadkar. "The vile, xenophobic backlash against people stabbing people ends today."
According to sources, the new hate speech law will also require those being stabbed to keep their eyes closed so as not to develop any sort of prejudice against the attacker. In addition to outlawing whining about being stabbed, the law will also apply to protesting against someone stabbing children. "If a person's culture dictates that they need to stab children from Irish culture, who are we to say which culture is right?" said Varadkar. "Asking people to assimilate into a non-stabbing culture is xenophobia at its absolute worst."
Citizens across Ireland have debated the merits of the new law, however no one outside of Ireland could understand a single word of what was said. Famed mixed martial artist Conor McGregor has become the voice of those opposed to dystopian government overreach, openly defying the Prime Minister to arrest him. Irish police have reportedly attempted to arrest McGregor, but McGregor eluded capture by doing his weird little "Billionaire Strut".
At publishing time, the Prime Minister had announced that for next Saint Patrick's Day the government will hand out stickers to citizens reading, "Kill me, I'm Irish."
Interference with The Right To Practice One’s Religion.
I’m laughing... but it’s not far from the truth.
I was hoping this was Babylon Bee.
It is the Bee, but these days it’s hard to tell. I believed the headline at first.
They got me again!
You know these scum bags would enact this, if they could.
👍👍👍👍👍
I started reading this and actually believed it, as this world is just getting nuttier and nuttier with each passing day. Then I realized the source, which often predicts the future.
holy cow- headline got me- i must be tired or something but was just shaking my head till i saw the site lol
What they are enacting is not substantially different.
This is satire but only by a gnat’s whisker.
The Bee almost got me with this one ...
Hey, brother. I hope all is well.
True.
And with you as well. My son is still flying. He is a Captain now.
That’s great. Is he in Japan so he would be closer to you?
Is it also a crime for someone stabbing you to say “Stop stabbling yourself, bro. Why are you stabbling yourself?”
No, he is in the SW US, but he goes TDY 4 months of the year. Last year he went to Kuwait City. This year, he will go to Okinawa. It’s strictly at random. He has no input on where he goes. Last year, he was supposed to go to Romania, but it got switched to Kuwait.
Hardly satire.
The fact that these idiot politicians still hold office proves that the good folks in Ireland are morons who accept their slavery like good serfs.
And will continue to be moron serfs, right up until they don’t accept the idiot politicians.
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