Posted on 09/24/2017 3:31:11 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Spend a little time with single women in their early to mid-30s, and you'll be grateful you're not one of them. The relationship scene is even more dismal today than when I was their age. All the women want serious relationships that lead to marriage, but many of the men they meet do not. All too often a woman moves in with some guy, hoping they're on the road to somewhere. Two years later, he tells her he's not ready for marriage and kids just yet. Splat.
But wait. Hasn't online dating made the mating market easier? Yes – for men. If you really want to hear a woman rant, just utter the word Tinder.
Single women are more equal and empowered than ever before. They have unparalleled sexual, reproductive and economic autonomy. In many ways, they're doing much better than the men. (Just look at the lopsided university graduation rates, which are now around 60-40). And yet, large numbers of young women admit their private lives are a sad mess.
If you're a gender studies major, stop reading here. You're going to hate what I've got to say next. I don't like it much myself.
In a nutshell, over the past few decades, the traditional relationship exchange has broken down. It used to be that men and women each had something the other really needed. Men needed access to sex. Women needed access to resources. Men couldn't get steady access to sex unless they had resources to offer, so they worked hard for them. The partnership between men and women was a grand bargain that (usually) left both sides better off.
For men, sex was traditionally expensive. The price tag was a long-term commitment to provide for a woman (and children). But today, sex is cheap. And that changes everything.
This is the premise of a bracing new book, Cheap Sex, by American sociologist Mark Regnerus. Sex got cheap because of three technological developments: the advent of the Pill, which divorced fertility from sex; the onset of mass-produced, high-quality pornography; and the arrival of online dating sites, which make it easy for men to find willing sex partners.
Sexual liberation is a fabulous thing – in some ways. But it can also turn men into louts, because women don't expect much in return for access. Today, most men can have all the sex they want for very little cost – no fancy dinner required. The irony, as Mr. Regnerus writes, is that today's mating market is probably more dominated by men's interests than ever before.
When women complain that marriageable men (sober, steady good providers) are harder to find than ever, they may well be right. The marriage rate is falling steadily, especially among the lower middle class, while long-term stable marriage is increasingly a privilege reserved for the better off.
A lot of women seem to have their act together these days. But a lot of men don't. "I think the greatest, most astonishing fact that I am aware of in social science right now is that women have been able to hear the labour market screaming out 'You need more education'… and men have not," MIT economics professor Michael Greenstone says in Cheap Sex.
What might explain this puzzling fact? Men don't have to prove themselves as providers any more. They can get all the sex they want anyway – including online porn on demand that can make the real thing feel mildly disappointing. (Ask younger women about men and porn. You'll get an earful.)
Like it or not, women have always been the gatekeepers for sex – not because they don't like sex, too, but because (no matter what you learned in gender studies) men's sex drive is innately higher. This means it's up to us to make the rules. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" my father used to say. It drove me crazy when he said that. Now, it's dawned on me that he was right.
Since the women's cartel collapsed, women's bargaining power has seriously eroded. That's why so many single women hate Tinder, which has further commodified sex for the benefit of men. Women are just another consumer good in the shop window.
It may take a village to raise a child. But it takes a village to raise a husband, too. And modern society has largely abdicated from the job. "Good husband material doesn't occur naturally, but is instead the product (in part) of socialization, development, and social control," Mr. Regnerus writes. "[I]n the domain of sex and relationships men will act as nobly as women collectively demand."
Time to get our act together, ladies. If we don't, they won't either.
“...but her pleadin’ I denied...”
Most men don’t even bother looking up from their phones long enough for even a flirtatious hello. Except the married ones. They’re always ready to come on to you, and usually they don’t even bother taking off the wedding ring.
Because they run as fast as they can to get away from all the liberated sluts looking for them.
Sing it brother, sing it!!!! I’ve loved that song since I was in prison. When I was twenty-one.
Why make the commitment when the world is flooded with free milk?
“My son is now 22 years lod and has had few dates as he says he can’t find a girl that isn’t narcissistic to the point of being a sociopath”
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is now the norm among young women not the exception.
That unfortunate fact pretty much destroyed any happiness that comes with coming of age for a young man. What older people see as the time of life where you are enjoying getting to know ladies and making your way towards marriage was, for me and most my age, a nightmarish death march towards an end we weren’t sure we wanted anyway.
I don[t mind a nice liberated slut now and then. As long as she shaves her armpits and her whatever.
LEGS! LEGS! Wash out your filthy minds with soap, ya preevs.
Milk is racist, or hadn't you heard?
“Free milk! Free milk!”
Feminists are so stupid. They promote giving away for free the thing that men want most from women. How dumb can you get!
Old fashioned women were so much smarter in knowing what to value and protect. No wedding ring, no p***y.
How that liberation working for you?
>Marrying a woman in her 30s is a pointless thing to do.
>>I hear Melania Trump is over thirty. You just may be insane.
Trump married her when she was 35 and despite all the advanced medical treatments she has access to she’s only been able to have one child. Most women at 35 are very unlikely to have a child if she hasn’t already had one.
A good friend of mine found a girl in her mid-30s that he wanted to marry and have kids with but was worried she couldn’t have kids. So she went through all the fertility treatments for over a year and it’s working. So he’s still living with her, but marriage is off the table. There’s no reason to marry a woman who can’t have kids. It’s just an invitation to get screwed if she decides to blow up the marriage.
Men are “louts”. Men are “not growing up”.
More condescending misandry.
Men are not stupid. They respond to incentives and disincentives in a logical way.
They have seen their friends, fathers, and brothers get raped by angry women in the family court system. They lose their children, their dignity, their families, and yes lots and lots of money that they work very hard for. Who wants to take that risk? When an impetuous woman can go all “eat pray love” and be celebrated - while the men’s lives are destroyed?
Dude, I was breakin’ balls, calm down. But Trump has enough kids already. He didn’t marry her for her uterus. I think he had other considerations. she probably just wanted to squeeze out one kid to call her own. Everybody’s happy.
I agree. However, our older opinion doesn’t much matter. Younger guys don’t have the stigma; they’re perfectly happy with porn. And given the legal minefield that dating and marrying American women offers to them, I can see why many are simply opting out.
And with that, AC86UT89 wins the thread. You may all go home now.
Good advice.
I will tell my daughter to NOT live with any boyfriend. My sons too. It just doesn’t bode well.
Great idea. Cause all kids do exactly what their parents tell 'em. Why didn't I think of that?
Reading what my demographic (conservative men) think of women today, especially divorced American women, I would need a miracle to ever find someone to date. I don’t have much free time anyway, but I actually consider myself very kind and considerate and I’d be a good partner. Since I already have my kids, I don’t want to / can’t share my whole life with anyone, but truly not all American women are as horrible as you guys think.
Answer: The Philippines.
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