Posted on 12/15/2016 5:17:00 AM PST by GreaterSwiss
It’s a very tough business full of failure and little success. But it can also be joyful and rewarding. There are many acting classes in Manhattan in which to not only practice your art but to meet people in the business. And there are many small theater companies to join.
She is probably very young so I would cut her some slack. Many actors eventually get good jobs beyond their field, go back to school, etc. It ain’t over til it’s over.
Hopefully the two younger kids will not turn out to be liberals. Perhaps you can encourage the younger ones to explore trade schools (less expense, shorter time in school and very employable). If the younger ones consent to a practical education, draft a contract with the kids that will also protect yourself. The oldest sibling may have just spent her inheritance.
If the parents co-signed for the college loans they are SOL. If they co-signed 4 a college loan to an expensive School offering degrees in theater I can only say or rather ask: WTH were they thinking?
I post this advice realizing that I am wrong .... a lot. So take it for what it’s worth.
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In this case you are absolutely right. Begging her to do things won’t work. It just leads to resistance and resentment.
My sister in law got her Theatre Degree at age 24. She then struggled in NYC for a year as an intern, making next to nothing. She quit to help put her boyfriend (now husband) through film school. I love my BIL, but he has the ambition of mashed potatoes. Suddenly, my SIL is 40 and depressed as neither have followed their dreams. The point is, she tells me that theatre nurtures the young who pay their dues in a major market for years at little or no pay...so it might now be wiser to let her keep working where she is and get that loan out of their lives.
Boy, I’ll say it was a creepy reply! While I didn’t get a theater degree (not many colleges gave them out when I was in school), but I got an English Literature degree which is sneered at by many freepers. Well, I didn’t fall into either of those three options and am married, a homeowner and not on the dole.
Give this kid a break!
Send her out of town for a few days and move.
A profound maxim if there ever was one.
Since she's in New York (Hofstra), perhaps she should try to intern with local TV stations or Broadway theaters in their tech departments?
Part of studying theater is also knowing how to run a stage, how to produce a show, how to block the actors and choreograph the lighting cues, etc. If she wants to get into the writing side of theater, she will need to understand how to script a play in a way that can be staged effectively. That means getting stage experience, even if it's behind the scenes as a stagehand.
Your niece should pursue local community theater groups. They are always looking for volunteers to build the sets, move the pieces, etc. She can learn how a stage manager controls the flow of actors and sets in tight spaces, what works and doesn't work logistically in a scene (so don't write it that way), etc.
Then she can work her way up.
-PJ
You cannot save stupid people from themselves. Period. Stand back and watch the train wreck and try not to be collateral damage to it.
Yes, that is the best advice. They failed to learn before, they won’t learn now.
To be somewhat counter-intuitive, here. There are a lot of people who just cannot benefit from college. There are also a lot of people for whom working in marketing would be hell itself.
So if she was boxed in to this, or other intolerable alternatives to her, she might have subconsciously chosen an expensive school to “poison the well” against future efforts to send her to school or put her in a career she despised.
Again speaking more in the generic, water and life seek their own level. People cannot be made motivated to do things they truly want nothing to do with.
This being said, the real focus should be on the other two children. Probably the best bet for them is to encourage them to join the military when they are of age. This will give them the discipline and maturity they need, along with some money, if they decide to attend college after. Having a few years over your peers, and some self discipline, in college usually makes veteran students much better in grades and ambition.
There’s nothing you can do for the oldest niece. Nothing you can do to make your sister see reason, either. They’re stuck with loans they knowingly sign off on. Too bad that may affect the younger children’s’ opportunities. You can make the same offer to the others and back out of if they haven’t learned the lesson. Drop lazy niece. Don’t offer any further advice to her or her parents as its falling on deaf ears.
Some have been known to pull in the shekels.
You can lose the one on the floor. I will pass on the ink.
As I say, it's a hard business but it's not a business to sneer at. I went to the theater last night and was impressed at the number of tourists from all over the world flocking to see this type of profession.
What else can be done? By you, nothing. Stop enabling her self-indulgent and self-defeating behavior.
As for her younger siblings: maybe they’ll learn something by watching her fail.
Absolutely! I hate to say it but so many actors end up as agents. In my opinion, total pond scum but seemingly indispensable to the business. Also, there are many theatrical foundations - the Actor’s Fund for one - that not only have jobs but good salaries as well.
So many people have written this kid off!
That solves nothing, only pushes the problem habits of this young woman on to more people. That kind of thinking is the reason problem situations perpetuate.
My position in dealing with older kids is, true love involves the willingness to accept being hated for being mean and authoritarian.
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When your kids see that you live by certain principles it sends a strong message to them. They may not like you at times, but deep down they will respect you for the consistency of your beliefs. Eventually they will come to appreciate the validity of them. At the same time, it’s generally a constructive thing to recognize your childrens’ accomplishments and reward them with praise when they do the right things. Kids need this kind of positive reinforcement.
Parents too often focus on, and accentuate, the negative. It’s important to take a balanced approach to child rearing. Just my humble opinion.
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