Posted on 10/17/2016 4:04:26 AM PDT by Morgana
When I imagined my wedding, I pictured a destination wedding that everyone and their plus-ones couldn't wait to get to — something European and chic, in a gothic church with al fresco photos on cobblestone streets. I also wanted a couple hundred guests. In Paris. Or Ireland. A place from where my fiancé and I could just jet off into the sunset afterwards and disappear on the continent for a few weeks.
For multiple reasons (like, reality), my fiancé and I ended up planning a state-side affair, but the sophistication remained. We're getting married on a Saturday in New York City, at — in my opinion — one of the city's most stunning churches, followed by a reception at one of the world's top restaurants. A jazz quartet will serenade our guests with classics. The food and champagne will be French. Our palette is white on white on white (or ivory). The words I've used with countless vendors from my jeweler to my florist are, "Crisp. Elegant. Modern."
One thing that definitely won't be at my wedding? Kids.
That's not to say I don't like kids. I have seven kids under the age of 15 in my extended family, and my fiancé has around 35 (!) kids on his side. And nearly half of our friends have one or more kids under the age of three. But neither of us loves being around children that much, and we knew as soon as we got engaged that those kids would definitely not be invited to our wedding.
(Excerpt) Read more at wlky.com ...
My father said, the morning of my wedding, “Look, if you decide not to marry him, we’ll just have the reception anyway.” Good memories ...
(Married almost 30 years now.)
From the sounds of this story the groom was in on it too. Can’t speak for the guests, vendors.
This couple...sound like Yuppies. They will never have kids and just live “trendy” lives.
I wouldn’t go to a destination wedding for my own brother’s kids. Love them all, but though I may travel for my own vacation (avoiding commercial air since 9/11), it’s way too much of an imposition to expect folks to jet away for a party.
That's the usual reason but in my case, the folks were very mellow. I've never been threatened, neither given nor gave any cause to complain. Maybe I was just born prissy.
I won't bother coming, either. Have a nice life.
I met my wife to be at our church where she was Director of Religious Ed when I volunteered to teach Confirmation teens classes. She decided we would invite our friends and family to a 5:30 Sunday Mass where we were married after the Liturgy. Reception in the hall followed where anyone attending Mass was invited for food (home cooked), drinks, music (youth ministry band) and fun. “Candy bar” for the kids. Around 300 people and everyone had a blast. Didn’t set us back that much either even with the open bar. Not everyone’s cup of tea but I wouldn’t have changed a thing. :)
Bummer lady. Guess you’ll be missing out on one monetary gift.
Weird.
I understand people’s wanting to have a glamorous resort vacation. I just don’t understand why a wedding has to be done at the same time. Have a nice wedding where most of your friends or relatives live, and then go on a trip.
A good friend’s wedding was ruined by a very young niece ( specifically NOT invited and the mother was told NOT to bring her) who chose the moment they were taking their vows to start crying and scream, hitting a Mariah Carey-like high note. Her mother grabbed her, put her hand over her mouth and charged up the aisle to take her outside. It was just awful. Absolutely ruined their wedding and no, it is not funny when you look at the tape of it. My friend almost started crying.
And I can’t STAND those parents who have the attitude the writer discussed, the ones whose kids HAVE to be included in everything. Ugh.
One of the leaders of our teen choir just had a very similar wedding. (One of my daughters was a soloist.)
How do you enforce the “ well behaved children only” rule?
You can’t
Everyone’s Precious is an exceptional child Doncha know. If they want to run amuck well they are just being expressive
“... that’s just rude”.
I think “destination” weddings are the “new” thing and quite frankly... I think they are stupid. I agree with you completely about the money issue. My nephew is having a destination wedding next Fall in New England. That would mean plane tickets or a 10 hour car ride, hotel for 5, boarding the pets and missing the first few days of school. I have already declined nicely. The rule of thumb USE to be the wedding was held in the bride’s “home town”. THAT makes complete sense to me.
One of the reasons people get so overwrought in this kind of discussion is that there are people like this mother, who have no class and no consideration for others. If your child is not invited, don't bring him. If you've been asked not to bring your child, don't bring him.
Cannot talk, ...
****If they hate kids.****
That appears to be the message - along with the “me, my, mine, I”
Isn’t a wedding the celebration of a marriage between TWO people for establishing the basis of a FAMILY, which NORMALLY includes children???????
Self centered spoiled exhibitionist. Probably never won an award for any accomplishment or any beauty pageant.
I don’t have a problem with the “no kids” request. Every head is a huge expense for the bride/bride’s family, whether at a glitzy hall or catered in a church rec hall.
I used to be Wedding Coordinator at a five-star resort in Hawaii. Many of the couples just wanted something very small — almost an elopement. In the end, a destination wedding was cheaper and less hassle than having it at home.
And then there were those who were accustomed to wretched excess so the wedding and activities were huge, disgustingly expensive, and carnival like and that’s another whole story.
Kind of my view too
With folks marrying a lot older these days it’s pretty much a given
But usually kids I’ve seen at weddings are the extended family’s kids
In other words relatives
Family pals unless long term normally don’t bring kids anyhow
Boy I’ve seen many a fancy wedding for naught
The brides dad out a ton
30-50 minimum
Some 100 or more
I think kids at weddings as I described above actually add to the spirit of it
I went to one wedding there were no kids
They were dinks who never had any
Life for them was about them
Not about kids
They better have someone when they get old
We live in bad times where the folks who need to be having kids are not and those who shouldn’t are
No offense to women who never had the opportunity but wanted kids and a relationship
It’s truly unfortunate cause many of them might have been great moms
Over time I’ve become convinced that some parents revert back to children themselves. They are unable to have an extended adult conversation on any topic and although they appear to be flustered or angered by their little darlings’ antics (which are frequent) it’s actually an excuse to avoid interaction while, as a bonus, drawing attention to themselves.
You’ve seen the type...they cover every square inch of the property in a half hearted attempt to catch their child, all the while calling out the child’s name. Here’s a hint: if the kid hasn’t responded in 5 min he/she isn’t going to respond now. The tipoff is the parent looking at every person at every table as they chase after the kid to see if they are being noticed. All an act, especially when they are perfectly capable of catching up. Munchausen Syndrome.
For our wedding 20 years ago, we not only had other people’s kids there, but kids table at the reception. This was just before the digital camera era when disposable film cameras were cheap. Each of our tables at the reception had a disposable camera with a note telling those at the table to take all the pictures the film has on it and leave it behind. The best pictures we got from all those cameras, was from the one left on the kids table.
At my kid’s wedding they purposely chose an outside venue for the wedding and reception so children could come. Even had a table set up with crafts to keep the kid’s occupied at the reception and the boys seemed to bond together to play sports away from the tents.. Out of 200 guests I’d estimate there were 30 kids under 12. And once the dancing started, you know where the children were.
The children that came were all an integral part of the bride and groom’s lives, so how could they not invite them, with their parents. Each bride can do what they choose, but the choice to allow children is very doable. Now, years later, I still have folks mention to me how the wedding/reception was incredible and one of the most memorable they’d been to, a lot of that had to do with the inclusion of everyone.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.