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This Incredibly Creepy Mattress Tells You When Sex Is Happening (WiFi/Internet pings your phone)
Gizmodo ^ | Apr 17, 2016 | Chris Mills

Posted on 04/18/2016 5:32:54 PM PDT by dayglored

Apparently, we’re in the middle of a “global infidelity crisis,” a crisis that can only be solved by a smart mattress that pings your phone when it’s being used for sex. Wait, what?

Smarttress is a real-looking product from Spanish company Durmet, which claims to use ultrasonic sensors to detect when two people are going at it on a bed. It then pings your phone to inform you of this fact.

I’m still partly convinced that this is a late April Fool’s, but working on the terrifying assumption that it’s not, let’s look at this idea on its merits. On the plus side, you’ll know if your significant other is having sex on your bed (although not on your couch, futon, desk, kitchen table, floor, car, or hotel bed); on the downside, you’ll know for certain that you’re a paranoid sociopath who needs wildly inefficient ways of keeping tabs on people.


(Excerpt) Read more at gizmodo.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Cheese, Moose, Sister; Computers/Internet; Humor
KEYWORDS: infidelity; internet; mattress; smarttress; windowspinglist
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A little late for April Fool's Day, this might just be real...
1 posted on 04/18/2016 5:32:54 PM PDT by dayglored
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To: Abby4116; afraidfortherepublic; aft_lizard; AF_Blue; amigatec; AppyPappy; arnoldc1; ATOMIC_PUNK; ...
WTF? ... PING!

You can find all the Windows Ping list threads with FR search: just search on keyword "windowspinglist".

2 posted on 04/18/2016 5:33:34 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: ShadowAce

I suppose this is TechPing-worthy...


3 posted on 04/18/2016 5:34:13 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: dayglored

The GOP and most of the “conservative” establishment really need access to this technology. I doubt any of their wives would be faithful. Who could blame them? These bow-tie freaks and their weird baby faces.


4 posted on 04/18/2016 5:36:38 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: dayglored

Paging Mrs Cruz.


5 posted on 04/18/2016 5:37:24 PM PDT by teletech
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To: dayglored

And for an extra $1000 they will install it in your bedroom when your spouse isn’t home.


6 posted on 04/18/2016 5:41:10 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: dayglored

Sounds like a credit monitoring service. ‘We have detected no suspicious activity in the last 30 days.’


7 posted on 04/18/2016 5:41:23 PM PDT by Ken H
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To: dayglored
I dunno about that, but my mattress is cued to play some bow-chicka-wow-wow music
8 posted on 04/18/2016 5:41:27 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: dayglored
WTF? ... PING!

Not what, when.

9 posted on 04/18/2016 5:43:28 PM PDT by tacticalogic ("Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: dayglored

“My wife likes to talk to me after sex. She usually calls collect.” — Rodney Dangerfield


10 posted on 04/18/2016 5:43:30 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Harvey Dent -- can he be trusted?)
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To: bigbob

My wife would know everything within two hours, without help.


11 posted on 04/18/2016 5:43:54 PM PDT by Company Man (Keep on Trumpin')
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To: dayglored

Trust, but verify?


12 posted on 04/18/2016 5:44:28 PM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: dayglored

13 posted on 04/18/2016 5:45:27 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: ClearCase_guy

“Last night her mattress dialed me...”


14 posted on 04/18/2016 5:45:49 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: dayglored

Might be fun to figure out how to hack them, and make them start going off about every 15 minutes.


15 posted on 04/18/2016 5:46:38 PM PDT by tacticalogic ("Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: dayglored
I feel a song coming on.
16 posted on 04/18/2016 5:47:12 PM PDT by dr_lew
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To: teletech
Paging Mrs Cruz.

Coffee meet keyboard and monitor!

...oh, and busTED.

17 posted on 04/18/2016 5:48:41 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: martin_fierro; Lazamataz
LAZ!!

Get over here!

18 posted on 04/18/2016 5:49:15 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: martin_fierro
> I dunno about that, but my mattress is cued to play some bow-chicka-wow-wow music

Haven't heard that one in a while...

19 posted on 04/18/2016 5:49:20 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: dayglored

I’d be getting pinged constantly.. I have a bunch of over active little bed jumpers.


20 posted on 04/18/2016 5:50:51 PM PDT by Trillian
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