Posted on 08/14/2015 7:48:39 PM PDT by proud American in Canada
Hey, proud American in Canada- apparently my telling you about dogs and horses was horrible, according to some folks on this site. I thought we were laughing together. At my reckoning, I understand well. So, all the best. Write me.
I was just thinking today of that movie. More specifically the quote iirc: “Well - you’re nothing more than a frustrated YOUNG man....Why - you’re worth more dead than alive.”
Years ago I would think about suicide (worth more dead than alive) - but I’m guessing my wife and kids would prefer me around rather than the insurance money. (Although some days I wonder!) Today I was thinking more of the frustrated part.
Life is hard. My twin daughters did the cutting thing for awhile. I think it was more attention-getting stuff than something deeper as they got over it. Although they still deal with times of depression.
My rules for life :
1) Life isn’t fair.
2) Nothing is easy.
3) It’s always something.
4) God is Sovereign
The fourth rule is a fairly new one that I added, and that I am still learning about.
my dearest FReeper, what you need and all that you need is Jesus. I hope my memory is good enough.
“The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to walk in green pastures. He leadeth me besides the still waters. He restoreth my soul. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For Thou art with me.”
praying for you!
I spent 25 years on a fire department and went to many suicides. First, I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad. It is obvious that you are a very caring and sensitive person who is under a lot of pressure. As others have suggested getting professional help would be a very good idea. But if you do not feel that is a viable option... you should definitely be sleeping with your dog or doing whatever else makes you feel comforted.
I am sorry also about the back wall in your house. If the house is causing you a lot of distress... maybe it is time to get out of it and move to a different house, a condo or an apartment. It is just a material thing. Material things come and go and really do not make you happy.
Probably the best thing you can do is to try and forget about what is stressing you out and go and volunteer somewhere like a museum, an animal shelter, an old folks home, a day care, a library or some sort of activist group. Volunteer where you will come into contact with others and possibly accomplish something that will make you feel like you are making a difference.
And please do not consider shooting yourself... it always makes a horrible mess and close to half the time people screw it up and they end up terribly disfigured or with other nasty problems.
You deserve to live.
You DESERVE life.
Also, despair is a feeling. Don’t think about things when you feel it. Just acknowledge it as a feeling, and watch it. That’s a good time to pray, if you can’t just remain calm. And let yourself sleep - fear is exhausting. Get your butt outside and go for walks, they’ll help. Let yourself cry when you feel it come up.
Think of it as a psychic constipation - deal with unsticking the energy, not using it as a filter to assess your life. Take control of your mind and decide when and what you will think about. You know your husband loves you and needs you, especially now. Honor that.
Everything changes constantly. Night turns to day. This situation will, too. Face the stuck energy, watch it, let yourself feel it, and it will start to release. Just choose not to think while you’re constipated, it’s never a positive experience.
Forgive yourself.
Fight for your life - you’re worth it.
Why did you remove post #119? It was a funny post, and received in humor. Why did you remove it?
Keep yourself safe. Depression steals not only life, but time. Take time to do something you love. I know it helps me, and keeps my mind from dark thoughts. God bless you.
Okay. Good.
Same here.
“I used to think I had something to contribute to the world. Now, I am not sure.”
People commit suicide because they lose hope for the future. I’m not seeing that in any your reasons. All of your reasons are very temporary. You can be useful in all these situations.
Permission denied.
Sorry to hear of your distress...I have found that John chapter 14 in the Bible to be helpful at times of great difficulty. Secondly, Luke 16:19 and following gives a great comparison of the two outcomes at death. CHOOSE “Abraham’s bosom!”
In Christian love...
Prayers for you.
As you can see, you are worthwhile. You have many who love you and don’t want you to leave. Take at least some of the advice you have been given and trust in our merciful Lord, who will deliver you from your troubles. Don’t give up.
She mentioned her black lab, Ellie.
Yes, I know. Believe this- I know people and animals. I know depression amongst both. So, thanks for your kind insight. My animals are many dogs, horses and cats. Some birds and marmots. I have been around them my whole life, even in war and desolation. I am very grateful to God, he has never left me alone, even when I thought so. We are never alone, no matter what.
Hope things look clearer this morning. I’m praying for you.
I’d say that God is trying to get your attention. Don’t put Him off. He is the only One who can give you peace in the storms of life and the calm assurance to make it through. Suicide is not an option. I’ve also struggled with those thoughts many times, but you must fight them. It is the Enemy telling you that you are worthless, a has been, life is over, or too tough. His objective is to keep as many as he can from God’s family. At least seek God out and if you are serious and want to know if He exists, He WILL show you.
Praying that you don’t do anything stupid. Praying that these feelings pass, but that you truly seek God and find Him. It will make a huge difference in your life!
My favorite quote.
The glass is neither half empty or half full......it is refillable.
Someone once said “nothing very good or very bad lasts very long” words to live by. Things get bad then they get better.
That is a good quote.
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