Posted on 08/14/2015 7:48:39 PM PDT by proud American in Canada
Hi,
I feel like I have relied on FR so much recently. Everything is breaking down around here. My husband checked himself into a hospital a couple of days ago; he needs heart bypass surgery.
My son and daughter are in the Gaspe peninsula visiting their grandmother. They will come back in a week, except my son will be stopping in Montreal to go to college.
Our house is falling apart; we have no exterior back wall and the insurance won't pay for it, that will cost $15K Canadian.
I am a lawyer in Colorado, but don't really know the ropes here in QC, especially in French.
I had my drivers license suspended for medical reasons; I am now on medication and should get it back soon. I have to, because my husband won't be allowed to drive after he has his surgery, which he won't have for another two weeks.
I just don't know what to do, except I do retreat to the feelings I have felt since I was fourteen... I was a "cutter" before it was cool. Over thirty years ago, I would walk from my law school dorm room in Chicago to the Walgreens... to buy razor blades. It felt so good to cut myself.
Now, all I can think about is finding those stupid keys for the gun locks that my husband put on his guns (he knows me too well).
I used to think I had something to contribute to the world. Now, I am not sure.
I called the hospital and I just wanted to go over there and sleep in a cot next to him, but I'm not allowed.
It's just me and my black Lab named Ellie.
Anyway, sorry to bother you all. Just wondered if anyone else here felt like this sometimes and what did you do about it?
LOL. Yeah, dogs are the worst. LOL... :) (still laughing) :)
wait, were you actually serious? :)
^
Prayer and B12 will take the edge off.
Absolutely no alcohol allowed until your burdens are relieved.
Most churches of any size have outreach programs for all your different circumstances.
This too shall pass.
It’s time to get down on your knees and pray. Start by thanking God for the blessings of your life. God gives you challenges because he believes in you. Don’t let him down.
Yes. Extremmmeeely. Be careful!
And thank you for sharing with us. We are your other family.
DON’T DO IT!!!!
1) Anyone who kills himself, without being completely insane, goes to Hell. Hell is worse than anything you are experiencing now, and it never ends.
2) There are thousands of people, millions even, who would gladly help you with all of your difficulties. All you need to do is find one, two, or three of them.
You are an essential part of your family and friends’ lives. Although it is not always apparent, it is as though we are a forest of trees whose roots are intertwined. Removing one of those trees weakens the rest of them. You are needed even when you do not feel like it.
Please keep in touch. To write helps you sort and focus more rationally so you don’t panic. One day at a time.
From Matthew 6
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I say patsy because you've got to realize that all quiet thoughts come into your head from one of two sources:
1) be they good, from above from your loving Creator God; or
2) be they slyly evil, from the author of evil and destruction, your tempter, Satan.
Satan wants you dead, plain and simple, and stirs his finger in your head for it to make sense. Satan wants an everlasting aftermath of pain and bondage for all those around you who love you, who you love, who you know, who you've touched in life. It's big circle, more than you even know.
But through God's son, Christ Jesus, by his blood - you too can break the chains of death Satan intends for you. You can fight. You can command the author of evil thoughts. As the devil stirs in you to end it all, grit you teeth and rebuke back to him: "By the blood of Jesus Christ flee from me, be gone, for I am the property of Jesus and you have no authority over me and by the Lord's command you are no longer welcome and I demand you to depart from me, my mind and spirit."
If you're unable to muster the strength to repeatedly do that, then fall on your knees right now and call out to Jesus for help. If Christ isn't yet in your heart and this post/reply seems silly...think on this. Some force has a hold on your mind and compels you to march on a path of destruction...a Bataan death march of sorts (today is VJ Day plus 70-years). That's a hard march indeed, so why not invest an equal hard march, instead this time to Jesus.
I and your family here at FR are praying for you to embrace the light of our, yours and my Heavenly Father and reject the dark. This is doable. Jesus' blood was shed for you and by his blood is the way to get these thoughts of self-destruction as far as the east is from the west in infinity. Be a Truth respecter.
God’s word has the answers, turn to him, he promises to take our burdens.
My best friend shot himself on my 17th bday in the mid 90s. It’s a hell of a thing to do. I will pray for you too.
So, hey, what are you doing, to be with us?
What a powerful post.
My prayers are with you.
I believe she meant that only her dog is with her at the moment.
Remember. Success at any endeavor is a small part inspiration and a large part hard work. And hard work is best addressed by getting started and working diligently with the end in mind. You will be surprised how quickly things turn around.
In my experience our souls are forged in the fires of our pain. Your tasks at present are difficult. You can and will overcome them though you may be uncomfortable for a while. When you reflect upon this situation in your later life you will be justly proud of your accomplishments. Oh, don't forget to thank God daily. When you get on your feet again, don't forget to give a helping hand to people in need when the situation arises.
I would say Good Luck but you don't need it. You are going to be just fine. Just take it one step at a time.
Put things in perspective. God wants you to be faithful. As a reward, you can have eternal life in Heaven. Eternal = infinite. Heaven = happiness.
Infinite happiness.
Give me one cent and I will give you a trillion dollars. Would you do it? Of course! Any finite amount of suffering is infinitesimal in comparison to INFINITE glory in Heaven. While it may not feel so now, you will realize you surrendered but a penny for admission when you arrive.
The true cost is your faithfulness. Suicide is the complete surrender of your faith in God to ultimately make things right, either now or in the eternal.
Give up the penny even though you may think it a great cost. In the end, it is nothing.
Remember that it’s okay to be sad. It’s not your job to make others think you’re happy. What anyone else other than you wants you to do is their self indulgent BS, including me. Be exactly who you are and feel exactly what you’re going through. When you feel it, experience it, know it for the thing it is, it stops being the world and is like a little snowglobe with ashes instead of snow, a dark experience you went through and you became “more you” rather than less at the end. It never goes away, that snowglobe of ashes becomes a souvenir of a dark time when you held on, and put you in a place to tell others and help others to hang on. It never ever again becomes your world.
I know this to be true.
Please don’t do this to your family. It will leave a lasting scar on your children. My father took his life with a gun in 2004 and I found him. Nothing good will come from this, nothing. Regardless of your beliefs, there is a very simple prayer I want you to pray. “Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me” Say it over and over until the darkness passes. Pray it for your family, “have mercy on” my son, daughter, husband, use their name and repeat it for every name that comes to you. You will get through this if you want to.
There are no pros.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.