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Perks of being over 60
September 9, 2014

Posted on 09/09/2014 7:36:46 PM PDT by NKP_Vet

THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3) No one expects you to run -- anywhere. 4) People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7) Things you buy now won't wear out. 8) You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9) You can live without sex but not without your glasses. 10) You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 11) You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 12) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 13) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 14) You sing along with elevator music. 15) Your eyes won't get much worse. 16) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 17) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 18) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 20) You can't remember the email where you saw this list.


TOPICS: Humor
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To: HandyDandy

Turn 60 in January,,

(eight track?)

Alice Cooper Still rings in My Head!


41 posted on 09/09/2014 9:16:12 PM PDT by Big Red Badger ( - William Diamonds Drum - can You Hear it G man?)
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To: Big Red Badger

I don’t trust anyone under 60.


42 posted on 09/09/2014 9:20:01 PM PDT by HandyDandy (Started out with Burgundy but soon hit the harder stuff....)
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To: bimboeruption

I envy you. I’m 38 so I still have a ways to go.


43 posted on 09/09/2014 9:23:59 PM PDT by POWERSBOOTHEFAN (TOUCH MY SODA AND THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY!!)
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To: Squantos

Happy Birthday!


44 posted on 09/09/2014 9:25:39 PM PDT by POWERSBOOTHEFAN (TOUCH MY SODA AND THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY!!)
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To: Texas Fossil

I’ll be 82 this week.

Every time I look in the mirror I say “What the hell happened?”

.


45 posted on 09/09/2014 9:25:47 PM PDT by Mears
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To: Mears

When my mom turned 90 she wistfully said “Oh, to be 84 again!” She was serious. It was around then that she developed her very mild arthritis, and had to start taking drops for her eyes and some other pills. We talked her out of water-skiing on her 90th birthday though. (She was serious about that too!)


46 posted on 09/09/2014 9:30:57 PM PDT by 21twelve (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts 2013 is 1933 REBORN)
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To: MeshugeMikey

60’s were good, could still dig out tree stumps (small ones) and handle my chain saw....over 70 getting on the garden tractor to cut the grass was a pain in the arse..got rid of the house and went into a condo...now getting into the car for Krogers takes a lot of will power....


47 posted on 09/09/2014 9:34:13 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: Patriot Babe

Thank you !


48 posted on 09/09/2014 9:34:27 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: HandyDandy

Thank you !


49 posted on 09/09/2014 9:35:13 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: yarddog
"Every time I think about stocking up on something, I realize I already have enough to last me the rest of my life. That is not meant to be so much amusing as true."

Exactly...me too!

50 posted on 09/09/2014 9:35:26 PM PDT by blam (Jeff Sessions For President)
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To: BikerTrash

Thanks BT ! grateful !!!


51 posted on 09/09/2014 9:36:00 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: The Cajun

LOL thanks !


52 posted on 09/09/2014 9:36:57 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: NKP_Vet

1. And when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So you have that going for you, which is nice.


53 posted on 09/09/2014 9:38:43 PM PDT by Henry Hnyellar
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To: Billthedrill

I’m a Ike era pup but remember watching Truman’s funeral on the TV ... Thanks !!


54 posted on 09/09/2014 9:38:54 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: smokingfrog

Thanks frog !!!


55 posted on 09/09/2014 9:39:23 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: make no mistake

Grateful for the Bday greeting !!! Thanks !


56 posted on 09/09/2014 9:40:37 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: POWERSBOOTHEFAN

Thanks !!!


57 posted on 09/09/2014 9:41:13 PM PDT by Squantos ( Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet ...)
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To: Squantos

Happy birthday! :)


58 posted on 09/09/2014 9:55:34 PM PDT by Politicalkiddo (Democrats: Enemies that stab you in the back. Republicans: The "friends" that poison your tea.)
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To: Jet Jaguar

Thank’ee.


59 posted on 09/09/2014 10:05:13 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Country Songs Don't Have Happy Endings" - http://youtu.be/W93nc95j1KY)
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To: NKP_Vet

I might add these to your list:

Your memory starts to go so you have to make lists of things to do, buy, or whatever, only to forget where you put the list. I know, put the lists on your iphone.

You reorganize your stuff, (i.e. a place for everything and everything in its place., like items together, etc.) so that you will be able to find it quickly when you need it. Then you completely forget where you put the stuff or you look for where it should be and it ain’t there. I know, see above.

You lose your glasses and you are wearing them.

Getting older can be very frustrating at times.


60 posted on 09/09/2014 10:15:15 PM PDT by Texicanus (Texas, it's a whole 'nother country.)
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