Posted on 08/01/2014 5:50:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Hamas Bumper Stickers
These are just @ThePeoplesCube Tweets, there are many great ones made by others too.
Other tweets from the feed: 
>> how's my driving? Call 1-800-bomb-you
>> what’s the martyr with you?
>> If you can read this you must be a Hellfire missile>> human Shields on Board
>> honk if Your Horn is not currently connected to a detonator
>> Gaza auto sales: we blow away the competition
>> My kid can blow up your kid
>> Read this to your favorite female loved one since she isn't allowed to read it to herself
>> honk If You're About to be Taken Out by an Israeli Air to Surface Missile
>> Shi’ite Happens
Another Twitter feed billing itself as @HamasGlobalPR did not appear to represent the actual governing authority but used an ironic voice to pose as the authority.
One tweet: “We condemn murder of A Jabari & the destruction of his new BMW M6. A merciful country would have shot last wk when he was driving a Fiat.”
Also, the tweeter observed: “To avoid further confusion, we are changing our name to "Palestinians Entitled To Reject Agreements" #PETRA, & yes, we are moving to #Jordan”
Q. What am I if I give money to Hamas?
A. A supporter of terrorism
******************
Q. What am I if I give a gun to Hamas?
A. A partner in murder
******************
Q. What am I if I give Hamas a base to train terrorists and supply them with the ability to import weapons?
A. The Obama Administration
“Is it just me, or does every overwhelming Hamas ‘victory’ against Israel look and sound more and more like Charlie Sheen’s version of ‘winning’?”
****************
Q: How does Hamas spell victory against Israel?
A: K-E-R-R-Y or O-B-A-M-A (either one will work)
****************
Israel ‘s deputy prime minister on Saturday said Israel should assassinate Hamas‘ leadership, ignore the moderate Palestinian president and walk away from international peace efforts.
Hamas leaders asked for a timeout until Israel and Palestine can get into some kind of counseling.
They also requested Israel try to use 'I' sentences instead of'you' sentences, such as "I don't feel respected by those actions." rather than "You are a bunch of suicide bombing @$$holes!"
LOL
LOL
Shipwrecked....
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
- Two Italian men and one Italian woman
- Two French men and one French woman
- Two German men and one German woman
- Two Greek men and one Greek woman
- Two English men and one English woman
- Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
- Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
- Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
- Two Irish men and one Irish woman
- Two American men and one American woman
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
* The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they’re satisfied because the English aren’t having any fun.
* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn’t they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get rescued off this god-forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping...
Posted by a guy whose family has two iPhones, an iPad, iPad Mini, and iPod.
Resistance is Futile. ;-)
Love Making Tops For Seniors .....
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember it .
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbours are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news ... even if it’s 8PM!
10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.
5a) Reload: How Cease Fire is pronounced in Palestinian Arabic.
What’s the difference between Obama & Hamas?
Nothing. Both use children as shields for political gain.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said,’Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started.....
_______________________________
My wife at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed, he’s my old boyfriend. He began drinking right after we split up years ago, and hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I always had something else to take care of. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
______________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Lots of dust.”
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
______________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left it at home. I told the woman I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver chest hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
That’s when the fight began . . .
________________________________
I rear-ended a car this morning . . .
the start of a really bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’
So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’
That’s how the fight started
Found my new tagline. Thanks lucky!
tanks!
*ping*
FMCDH(BITS)
FMCDH(BITS)
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