Can't Stop Crying

Me | August 19, 2012 | bicyclerepair

[bicyclerepair]

Hi FRiends, Boy do I need someone to talk to.

Just came back from dropping off my daughter at college and the empty house is making me cry so much.

Been a member since 2004. This is my first post. So sorry but I can't stop feeling sad and hurting inside because I miss her so much.

I respect you all so much and value your comments. Some are harsh, but most are honest and decent. So maybe I can drown my heart-ache reading your thoughts.

Sincerely, bicyclerepair--Ft. Lauderdale

[higgmeister]

“CATS IN THE CRADLE”

Now that made me almost cry... but smile and laugh at the same time too!

[juma]

You didn’t say what kind of kid you have. Self reliant ? Dependent ? For the self reliant kid, they will do well, until they have that moment and you will get that call, so listen and don’t talk. They just want to know that they are still loved. That’s all. For the dependent, you have to be the strong one and make them become self reliant. The difference is in the type of phone calls. Been there done that. Its all part of the process. And look at it like a higher level of teaching them to adulthood. Don’t volunteer them to come back, but don’t let them know they are not welcome either. If you do it right, they will be just fine, and you will find an new best friend forever ( BFF ) Good Luck !

[Captain Beyond]

Hey Bicyclerepair I know your feeling alone right now and it hurts but look on the bright side you just did your finest piece of work in that you prepared your daughter for college. She is there and will make you proud. She will call when needs you and you will be there to help her through it. Look at it a new cycle of learning in both of your relationships to better depend on each other and reach out to one another.

Check out Mathew 28:19-20 Jesus is saying he right there with us all the time for all of time.
19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

And when Moses dies look at how God comforts Joshua 1:1-5 telling he will always be with him as you will be in your daughter’s heart as she is in yours while you are apart.

5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

God’s promises are forever. Right there with just a few verses you know God and Jesus are right there with her and you during this time. So rejoice she will finding her own way and you will still be there to guide her and you have already laid the solid ground work for her to follow.

I know in times like this I have always turned to music to take away the sadness. Something about the music seems to pull the emotion out me touching the cords in my soul, causing me to think of the good times, and then it pulls the sadness from me. For me it is like some sort of symbiotic odyssey that makes me embrace the pain while at the same time releasing it. That is the best way that I can explain it. Oddly enough it is when I write some of my best music. It can hard with a delicate dynamic or soft with a cutting edge, or just hard, or just a flowing rhythm but that is just how it happens. I always get real metaphorical with the lyrics which can be quite surprising when I look at it the next day. I tend to go yen and yang with the music as I listen to it but hey that is what works for me.

Here are a few songs that have helped me through some tough times. In some it is just the music and so much the words in others it is both that spoke to my soul. I am sure you can find your own but just hang in there and reach out to Jesus he is always with us in good times and bad.

Styx - Right Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_Eu4fZ-MXI

Styx - Little Fugue in G/Father OSA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9YF64svUFw

Led Zeppelin - Thank You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfUSZVIWhxA

Kenny Wayne Shepherd - Let Go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmLPJBSxSzQ

Uraih Heep - The Wizard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq8nQOhZ3u8

Bride - Goodbye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f41dgzdRSVs

Slaughter - Fly To The Angels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukmobha2krY

Black Crowes - Seeing Things For The First Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD9vMFT_zX4

REO Speedwagon - Roll With The Changes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGgLPriZUSA

Joe Cocker - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIKBq9TeFlw
(This is pretty cool version a rare footage of Joe and Band)

Well enjoy if they are not your cup of tea that is cool but they are some of the ones that helped me out.

[albie]

My daughter leaves this Wednesday. It’s now 3 am and I can’t sleep thinking about it. All I can do is put my trust in God and hope I did the right things in raising her. She’s so excited I have to stay strong and be excited with her but I know that when we leave her the tears will flow.

The one thing that makes me happy is knowing that when we see her again it’ll be all that much sweeter! “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”!

I’m looking forward to skyping, texting, e-mailing and talking. Just think. 20 years ago it would have cost you $1.00 a minute to chat long distance and that’s the ONLY communication other than letters.

[ROTB]

1) Sorry about your loneliness
2) You can still write & call, but remember college is the biggest adventure of her life so far.
3) Find some videos/pictures of the consequences of fooling around before marriage. I’m talking VD. Find all the pictures you can on the internet, and email them to her. She won’t touch nobody till marriage.

You’ll pull through.

[Colorado Cowgirl]

Philippians 4:6-8, This was my Pastors sermon verse last Sunday. Amen. My Daughters went to Pensacola Christian College in Florida. Great Education, great location and great weather. All grew up very well away from home, and very independent minded.

[albie]

One thing that makes me feel better about my daughter going off this Wednesday are all the parents we know who can’t wait for thier kid to go away. What an awful feeling that would be. What kind of upbringing did those kids get?! What are the memories?!

The love and devotion that you exhibited throughout her 18 years is evident and you should reflect on that and be proud! It won’t help you miss her less but it should help knowing that you sent such a person out in to the world!

[b9]

I packed up what she left and each box wrote a note to her. So it didn’t matter when she opened the boxes, there would be a note to her about how much we loved and appreciated her.

Terrific idea.

[pa_dweller]

It does get better after awhile. Shows our bloodline to sorrow when those we love leave.

Agreed it is wrenching.

[jimfree]

My daughter lived away from me most of her youth, having a succession of step-fathers. I was assigned however to give her away at her wedding. I wept for hours that evening, in part mourning all of the opportunity lost. Now, 14 years later, she is much closer to me and a model homeschooling Mom of four of her own.

[ladyL]

I have so much I could share with you. I couldn't stop crying for three days when my daughter graduated H.S. and I don't cry easy. When we drove her to college 3 hours away, she being our only child, left a huge hole in “the three of us.” I thought I wouldn't be able to make it...but God! I prayed 24/7. We talked on the phone 2-3 x a day...We didn't see her for one month as she was too busy to come home and she just kept getting more busy. It was hell! I have no advice for you. Nothing made it easy for me. We were too close but she persevered and eventually became her own woman. Thank God for her strength...I couldn't have done it. (We homeschooled) She is now a 32 yr. old married woman with two children. Her life is completely full and she gives me a little time every once in awhile if she can spare it. She's still busy. Do I miss “the three of us?” I sure do...but she is happy and that is all that counts. Scottie, my daughter, is one of the newest Politichicks on the Patriot Network and is very active politically. She will be covering the RNC and the DNC so I covet your prayers for her safety. Thank you and I pray your heartache lessens with time.

[patriot08]

>Skype
>You did a good job raising her. She’ll be ok
>Time heals
>She’ll be back

God bless

[Artie]

I recall taking my son to college some years back and thinking, as I looked at all of the other parents,... there are at least 8 thousand heart attacks waiting to happen.

[Dick Bachert]

Beat me to it. If Obozo gets back in, EVERYBODY will be moving in with their folks.

[Claud]

You all must think I’m stupid.

Oh gosh no! My kids are 4, 3, and 7 mo. and I'm already feeling sad about them leaving....years from now!

[Nachoman]

One of the unexpected delights of my daughters going to college was the bevy of gifted, unique and brilliant friends they would meet in college and bring home for holidays and other school breaks. An added bonus was some of them were drop-dead gorgeous!

[imardmd1]

And you have my sincerest condolences my FRiend.

May your hard-earned experience and wisdom ever be sought -- let it be from the mind of The Christ, our Hope and Glory!

[Jacknudy]

You’ll be fine. Takes some adjusting, but it’ll all settle in. When our youngest went off to college my wife was a mess. Now she wouldn’t have’em back for anything.

It’s a sad day, not a sad year. Hang on.

[DainBramage]

The first is the hardest, but I found that after the fourth one graduated from college and began to pay his own bills that I couldnt wait for the fifth one to get the hell out and do the same!

I almost feel rich now that I dont dont pay for 5 cell phones, 5 cars and insurance and 5 tuitions.

[cblue55]

Just returned home from dropping my daughter off at college 5 1/2 hours away. My nest is now empty. As I read this thread, the tears are flowing for me once again, but the smiles are there too.

This is a huge change in your life as well as your daughter’s. Allow yourself to grieve because it is a loss. But take advantage of texting, cell phones, Skype, etc. and look forward to seeing her soon!

Now that the house is empty and quiet, I plan to turn up the volume on MY favorite music.