Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON
There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.
As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.
What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.
Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise
(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...
is that to seal the bun from getting soaked in grease, sorta like caulk???
Not quite.
Both mayonnaise and salad dressing (i.e., Miracle Whip) have a standard-of-identity
To be called mayonnnaise, the product must have no less than 65% vegetable oil by weight, while salad dressing must have no less than 30% vegetable oil by weight. Starch makes up the weight difference in salad dressing.
Both also must contain vinegar (min 2 1/2% by weight for mayo) and egg yolk solids (min. 4% by weight for salad dressing).
Product preference varies widely from market-to-market -- dependent upon whether Mr. Kraft's or Mr. Hellman's horse drawn wagons were the first to establish distribution in the area.
Wait...WHAT? LOL
We have it on the DVR; going to watch it tonight.
Feeding time could be a problem...
Ah, that probably got it on some grocery distributors' lists and helped it finally reach the Dallas metroplex.
I didn't make that one up--it has been around for a while.
*mouth watering*
*tapping tiny foot*
Mayo is awesome!
Miracle whip is DISGUSTING!
They call it that, because it’s a miracle anybody would eat it!
BLEAH!
Ya can’t make a good chicken salad sammich, or tuna for that matter, using that stuff.
It makes everything too sweet.
Last newspaper I worked at, we had a girl from the country where all thinks kill you working there. Her family would send her care packages.
We were talking one day and I asked her where the Vegemite was, being the typical ‘ugly American” that I aspire to be.
Fast forward... Aussies are perhaps the strongest, most courageous people that exist. Or ever will. They eat it and survive to eat it again. That’s all I’m gonna say about Vegemite.
I always try to put Frenches yellow mustard on baloney on white bread sandwiches, but Gulden's golden on ham, baloney, or corned beef, on hero or club bread. Not sure why. Just seems to go better that way.
With a spoon, straight from the jar.
:-D
Sir, as with all true conservatives, I may not agree with your food choices, but I will defend unto death your choice of what you eat.
Well, maybe not unto death, but you get the gist.
Has to be Hellman’s though.
By far worse than Mayonnaise in the texture and taste department is LOW FAT Mayonnaise. . . UGH!
Home made mayonnaise is sublime.
I love real mayo not the fake crap most you buy in the store are. But its not a condiment anymore than sour cream is.
Mayonnaise is necessary.
Hellmann’s is the ONLY one to buy.
My grandmother’s recipe is one I use in the summer.
Miracle Whip ought to be outlawed.
Now, a little goes a long way. It doesn’t pay to overmayo.
I don’t see where you can go without it...tuna sandwich, deviled eggs, chicken or turkey sandwich, but not ham, that gets mustard..
I’m born and raised Southern, but I wonder sometimes if I was born in Jersey and my parents didn’t tell me. I don’t like grits, tomato sandwiches, sweet tea, nor mayo.
You’re a redhead. You eat bone marrow. Mayo is not surprising... ;)
Debbie Washer woman Shultz is not pleased.
5.56mm
Macaroni salad without mayo and sweet pickles?. I don’t think so mister!
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