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SATIRE House Speaker Pleads for Hillary to Turn Over Computer Server SATIRE
GOP Briefing Room Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 April 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/25/2015 12:54:36 AM PDT by John Semmens

A new slew of allegations has emerged implying that the Clinton Foundation may have accepted bribes in exchange for Hillary to use her Secretary of State status to influence government policy. An example of possible influence peddling was her support for Russia's acquisition of a major stake in American uranium mining.

"It looks like she violated the law, and the idea that she was going to use her own server and do official business on it goes against every transparency issue that the President likes to tout," House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) observed. "She should turn that server and all those documents over to the Inspector General, at the State Department."

Boehner said he is undecided on whether he will ask the House to subpoena the server. "On the one hand, I think the American people have a right to know the facts," Boehner said. "On the other hand, compelling the handover of this equipment might create the impression that the Clintons are criminals. They're good people and I am reluctant to repay their long years of public service by using tactics that would be applied to ordinary suspects in a criminal case."

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest acknowledged that "the former Secretary appears not to have honored her agreement with the President to keep everything above board. I mean, she explicitly forswore accepting donations from foreign governments while she served as Secretary of State. Nevertheless, I can't see any point in subpoenaing her server. She's already assured us that it has been wiped clean. Since any potential evidence is now gone it would be pointless to continue to pursue a fruitless inquiry."

Clinton campaign spokesman, Brian Fallon, while carefully avoiding any explicit acknowledgment of guilt, attempted to make lemonade out of the latest allegations by asserting that "the supposed incompatibility of what's good for the Clintons and what's good for America could be resolved by reinstalling the former First Family in the White House. If the Clintons were in charge of all of America they'd have an incentive to try to carry out policies that would enrich all of America. It is their exile from power that necessitates their aggressive pursuit of self interest. Faced with the insecurities of living as private citizens they are subject to the same temptations of greed that have dragged down so many others."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=169066.new#new


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: clinton; corruption; greed; satire

1 posted on 04/25/2015 12:54:36 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 04/25/2015 12:55:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The Speaker did formulate a creative plan based on recent events, however.

He is forming the Boehner Foundation, which will do charity work for the favorite causes of powerful lobbyists.


3 posted on 04/25/2015 2:27:28 AM PDT by Rocky (The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. George Orwel)
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To: John Semmens
House Speaker Pleads for Hillary to Turn Over Computer Server [semi-satire]

Everything Boner does is semi-something. Like Obozo, he is in way over his head. Classic poster-boy for term limits. JERK!

4 posted on 04/25/2015 5:19:44 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: John Semmens

Tsk tsk... she’s gone above and beyond so many times already.


5 posted on 04/25/2015 5:25:51 AM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens

Well done!


6 posted on 04/25/2015 5:30:21 AM PDT by Triple (Socialism denies people the right to the fruits of their labor, and is as abhorrent as slavery ea)
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To: John Semmens
The word “pleads” is right. All the Human Cheeto does is whine and cry. Surely, there are enforcement powers available to force her to produce the drives, emails and any other documentation.

Anyway, thank you for the ping. Good job, as usual.

7 posted on 04/25/2015 8:31:33 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

It’s all on that phone.

I wonder how many messages were from the bank telling her that the checks cleared before she concluded an agreement?


8 posted on 04/25/2015 8:57:28 AM PDT by GeronL (Clearly Cruz 2016)
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To: John Semmens
Here is an alleged picture of the server using recycled Nixon tapes.


9 posted on 04/25/2015 10:15:56 AM PDT by darkwing104 (Forgive but don't forget)
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To: John Semmens

Paragraph 3 is hilarious!


10 posted on 04/25/2015 10:55:47 AM PDT by TheConservativeParty
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To: John Semmens

Not citizens, not subjects. Interns. A nation of interns.


11 posted on 04/25/2015 7:35:48 PM PDT by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: John Semmens

‘Clinton campaign spokesman, Brian Fallon, while carefully avoiding any explicit acknowledgment of guilt, attempted to make lemonade out of the latest allegations by asserting that “the supposed incompatibility of what’s good for the Clintons and what’s good for America could be resolved by reinstalling the former First Family in the White House. If the Clintons were in charge of all of America they’d have an incentive to try to carry out policies that would enrich all of America. It is their exile from power that necessitates their aggressive pursuit of self interest. Faced with the insecurities of living as private citizens they are subject to the same temptations of greed that have dragged down so many others.”’

Sounds like something the Dems would actually say.


12 posted on 04/26/2015 11:47:49 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: John Semmens
>"Faced with the insecurities of living as private citizens"

You know times are tough when ya gotta steal the W's off all the keyboards just to get gas money to get back home.

13 posted on 04/26/2015 3:03:29 PM PDT by rawcatslyentist (Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed,)
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