if his plan works out, everybody will have access to highspeed internet, just that nobody will be able to afford it...
Posted on 02/27/2015 10:59:05 PM PST by John Semmens
Anxious to rescue the Internet from what Federal Communications Chairman Tom Wheeler called a "regime of anarchy," the FCC approved over 300 pages of new rules designed "to bring order to this disorderly segment of our society."
"Right now, pretty much anyone with access to the web can do or say whatever he wants," Wheeler pointed out. "This is very distressing to President Obama. At his urging we have adopted rules modeled on policies laid down by our agency in the 1930s."
While loath to go into specifics "so as not to lose the very useful element of surprise as we attack those who might abuse their liberty to deviate from what promotes the common good," Wheeler acknowledged that "folks can be reassured that we will prohibit any and every individual or corporate action that we deem injurious to the nation's collective well-being."
Criticism that this move is "Obamacare for the Internet" failed to faze the FCC Chairman. "We don't buy into the premise that Obamacare has been a failure," he countered. "Many people who didn't have health insurance before have it now. Those who have refused to obtain insurance are being punished. The health industry is being transformed. We'd be proud if we accomplish similar results in the field of communication."
Senator Mike Lee (R-Utah) expressed his doubts that "subjecting what has thus far been a very dynamic feature of modern life to oversight by nameless, faceless, unelected bureaucrats will lead to good results. The pace of innovation is bound to be slowed by bureaucratic supervision. Lower quality and higher prices seem certain."
"Lower quality and higher prices are not the unmitigated evil that advocates of anarchy like Senator Lee would have everyone believe," Wheeler contended. "If the trade-off is a fairer system, I think the average person would gladly make that exchange."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/171609-2015-02-27-semi-news-semi-satire-march-1-2015-edition.htm
ping
This is a good one John!
Thanks for writing and posting it :-)
bump
If I knew what I can’t do I’d be doing it more!
Ministry of Truth incoming.
Ministry of Online Purity? What else?
If you like your IP provider.....you can keep them.
If you like your liberties, you can keep them.
You just have to follow our rules and pay our fees. For that, we give you “protection.” And then you’re free. If you don’t go along, you will lose your “protection,” and bad things will happen to you. We will make sure of that.
This month the chocolate ration will be increased from 25 grams to 15 grams.
***
And this is what these regulations are all about.
Thank you again, John, for the ping. Good job!
John,
What brand of cigarettes would you for us to bring you in prison?
Your cell will be right next to Jim Rob’s.
They will not stop at shutting us down.
They will need some examples....
if his plan works out, everybody will have access to highspeed internet, just that nobody will be able to afford it...
We’re all on double secret probation now.
“Lower quality and higher prices are not the unmitigated evil that advocates of anarchy like Senator Lee would have everyone believe,” Wheeler contended. “If the trade-off is a fairer system, I think the average person would gladly make that exchange.”
Sounds like something a leftist would actually say.
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