Posted on 01/14/2015 2:21:50 PM PST by hondact200
Today, the painful decision has been made to start the process for Nursing Home Placement of my mother who is the last stage (stage 7) of Alzheimers Disease. I have to have multiple surgeries and I can no longer take care of her by myself. Pray for the situation as my mother will decline rapidly once she goes into the nursing home. She has six children and I am the only one whom has been involved the last 4 years. Have not been given a date but placement will come soon.
Good choice that you need. You have given a lot. She also needs what the home will give.
You both will be in my prayers.
As for your sibs, ignore them. Hang up the phone if they get abusive. Your giving them information is a form of a courtesy call. No courtesy, no call.
My Mon(96) is at a Sunrise facility here in Massachusetts. It is a lovely place but the cost, which just keeps increasing,is astronomic;. I’ve told them that if she sees 100 she won’t be living at Sunrise.
Prayers for you and your mom. It’s a very difficult thing to do, but sometimes there’s no option. I went through it with my own mother after she had a massive stroke.
My prayers are with you and your mother. Please, understand that sometimes there comes a point where it just can’t be done alone. (((hugs)))
Yes it is crazy expensive my mom did not last long
I understand...a lot. More hugs. (((hugs)))
My sister and I with the help of my nephew, placed my mother in a residential home when she was in end stage kidney disease and was getting forgetful. She wasn’t thrilled about moving out of her own home, but we had no choice, and it worked out. She had great caregivers.
It’s hard, but it has to be done. Prayers
It saddens me when people care more about themselves and what they can acquire than they do about their own parent.
I hope your neurologist can maintain that "early" status, as it's starting to appear that some great breakthroughs aren't too distant.
One thing, I've been very fortunate to have is control of the money. My dad asked me to take over a long time ago because he didn't want to be part of any inheritance fighting or the subject of the finger pointing. A couple of the kids are a little upset about it, but for despicable reasons. No one bothers even asking, they know I am going to spend every last penny of her money on her and donate any leftovers (which I seriously doubt there will be) to her church. It's what she wanted. May God bless you all and help see you through it.
You have my utmost respect, FRiend. I’m helping my 76 yr old mother care for my 83 yr old father in their home now, but things could turn on a dime. I pray for your health, and the strength to deal with those who will berate you for this agonizing decision.
Before you decide, please Google “American nursing homes in Mexico”.
While many people will automatically sneer at the idea, more and more Americans are taking advantage of American run nursing homes there, for several very important advantages.
American nursing homes tend to be exorbitantly priced, overcrowded, with inadequate staff and medical care.
American run nursing homes in Mexico are a fraction of the cost, more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, with a much better caregiver to patient ratio. Patients are not left along without support. Their staff and medical personnel speak English. Drugs and surgery are much less expensive as well.
The nursing homes are in safe enclaves, so there is low crime.
Nothing at ALL to do with your situation, but I’m going to leave orders for someone to kill me when I reach that point. Hopefully I’d see it coming, and could just take care of it myself before I’m unable to.
I wouldn’t EVER want to be such a burden on any of my children. Especially when I have a sickness that I wouldn’t even know who they are.
Though I don’t know what any of the circumstances are with your family, I think on the surface, it’s terrible that all of your siblings have apparently jumped ship and left all of this on you.
Best of luck to you!
My heart goes out to you and your mother. God bless you for your kindness and your loving care. I’m so sorry you have to go through this and that your mother is so ill. May God bless her as well. Alzheimer’s Disease truly breaks my heart.
It is good that she has you as a loving child whose concern is about her. To hell with what your greedy siblings want.
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>> “Though I don’t know what any of the circumstances are with your family, I think on the surface, it’s terrible that all of your siblings have apparently jumped ship and left all of this on you.” <<
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This is pretty much how it usually goes. Its usually the youngest that gets stuck doing all the work and support.
lost my Dad in 2004 to dementia and stroke, took him years to fade in the home
mom is 90 now, she is almost final stage, cant walk, doesn’t know who I am but asks about me when I am not there, she doesn’t recognize me
You’re not alone in this
I got fed up with the poor quality of nursing home care and have my 96 yr old mother and 87 yr old mother in law in my home. Pulled them both after short term stays. Watch the quality and be her advocate.
Where do you live dear lady?
Surely there is some freeper who could come help.
A FReeper is coming soon.
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