Posted on 09/22/2014 12:52:04 AM PDT by Hetty_Fauxvert
Before I get started with my question (and boy, do I need ideas!) I want to note that I'm a *secular* Conservative, and do not identify as a Christian. So any forthcoming ideas from y'all that are based strictly on Bible teachings, etc. are not going to be terribly useful to me.
My problem: Our twin boys are 7 (pushing 8) and homeschooled. They probably know more about history than any other seven-year-olds in town, but I'll admit I've skipped over some areas of education so far. One of those "skipped over" areas is the concept of homosexuality. I wanted to wait until they were a bit older to bring it up (or wait until they asked me about it) but now my hand is being forced.
My husband and I belong to a games night group which has a monthly meeting at members' houses. Next month it's our turn to host. We've been a part of this group for 12 years, and have become good friends with several people who are members. It's important to me not to mess this up.
On Saturday I attended the monthly games night at someone else's house, and there were several new people there. Two of the new men introduced each other as one another's husbands. They seemed to have a good time, and made a point of saying they'd definitely come to next month's games night . . . at our house.
The area where we live is a particularly liberal bastion in California. There was no point in me saying anything about their being "husbands," so I didn't. My problem is: What do I say to our young sons in preparation for the meeting next month at our house?
My own "take" on homosexuality (particularly in men) is that sometimes it appears to be innate, though many times it appears to be a learned behavior. Whichever it is, I cannot regard it as "normal," in the way that the gay agenda wants us all to do. It seems to me that the ones who actually appear to be gay from the start have what is basically a birth defect. So in the same way that I wouldn't say, "Yay for spina bifida! Yay for cleft palate! They're great!" I feel that I cannot celebrate the "normality" of homosexuality.
I have had gay friends in the past, especially in college, and while I noted that they often seemed very conflicted and self-destructive, they were not bad people. I don't hate or fear gays. I just want them to not insist that I wave their rainbow flag for them. ;)
Anyway, I anticipate that when I tell our sons that there is such a thing as men being married to men, and women to women, I think their little heads are going to spin around. I want our sons to understand that we should be kind to these people, as we would be kind to anyone who had a problem they couldn't seem to help, but I also want them to realize I don't regard it as normal or desirable.
And lastly, I do NOT want my little darlings to bring this question up at the party! LOL! But I've had bad results in the recent past when I asked them to keep their little mouths shut on something. At this young age, it actually seemed to focus their attention on the issue and make them bring it up at the worst possible time. Reverse psychology, I guess. (I thought about not saying anything at all about homosexuality before our games night, but because our kids are gregarious, and also because they're homeschooled, they think they can focus in on anything they're interested in at any time and grill the adults about it. So I can just see one of our boys hearing one of the new members yapping about "my husband" and saying, "Wait! What do you mean, your husband?" And then the fat would be in the fire.)
So, many thanks for your thoughts and especially IDEAS from other parents on how to deal with this issue. Looking forward to seeing them.
Be as truthful as possible from the position of God’s design and an engineer’s perspective at exceeding design tolerances. “Bad things will happen...” And they do.
The editorial you posted a link to cites traditional two parent families as the best for kids, versus same sex two mommy parents.
But libs have made such an argument unpopular with the breakdown of marriage and the rise of so many single moms(most vote Dem).
Recall the GWB Child Tax credit for single Moms.
When I debate same-sex marriage I go right for the two male case and how unnatural and dangerous male homosexuality is.
Just a start.
Traditional marriage, with minor variations, such as allowing polygamy or the existence of some sort of regularized concubinage, is essentially universal across all human cultures and all religions, and predates all world religions, thus, contrary to what some would argue, it is not a religious institution (though for us Christians, it has been blessed by Our Lord and filled with additional meaning).
The reason for its existence is simple and can be demonstrated on neo-Darwinian grounds: human beings require a long period of nurture, which is optimally provided by those other human beings who are maximally similar in genetic composition (cf. the selfish gene version of new-Darwinism), that is the parents. Provision of a socially sanctioned basis for parents remaining together permanently, thus provides an optimal setting for the raising of human children (and grandchildren).
This fact also accounts for the fact that traditionally orphans have been cared for by family members, with preference going to the most genotypically similar — adult siblings, grandparents, and only then aunts or uncles, and these before more distant relatives or strangers.
Actually Christians should note that Jesus grounded marriage in biology, not in any law or divine command, “...male and female He created them. For this reason will a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”
It is only a debased notion of marriage that see it only as a “celebration of love” or a mere contract that could possibly be generalized to homoerotic couplings. If marriage is properly understood, the very notion of “gay marriage” or “lesbian marriage” is an absurdity.
Don’t you first have to identify what it is that is your basis for believing the homosexual lifestyle is not something you agree with?
Rather than asking others for their reasons, can you give them your reasons? Personally I would not bring it up unless they did, and then tell them you will talk about it later. They may not notice.
I’m wondering how a secular person deals with any sort of idea of right vs. wrong. What makes something “right” or desirable vs “wrong” or undesirable. Who chooses? Each person for himself?
For example, is stealing right or wrong? It hurts the one who is stolen from, but the person doing the stealing feels better, so it’s desirable for that one. So whose desire is allowed, the person who doesn’t want to be hurt by being stolen from, or the person who wants to steal? Are they both correct? Is there really a right or wrong, or does that not matter?
If you can figure that one out without there being absolute right and wrong, then apply the same logic to your situation. I myself could never make it work in my head without God eventually being a part of it.
They’re young for it now, but when they’re older, I would make sure to tell them, in the baldest, most frank terms, exactly what filthy and disease-producing acts homosexuals engage in. Shying away from it and calling them “gay” is PC, but they need the truth, IMO.
This is the real crux of the question. Bravo!
Gays could of had their civil unions.... but that didn’t subvert society enough for Democrats, now did it?
Why destroy “marriage”?..... same deal as the family.
The left wants only government to be the “giver of liberties” - not GOD.
Just keep in mind they’re sure to take them back at some later date.
Argh....”could have.”
Sorry. You got nothin'.
I think your view about homosexuality is quite correct.
I am a Christian but can see how God has made things quite clear largely even with a biological view.
To me, homosexuality is a defect. Even if it is not, who in his right mind would choose this? See? As you said, like mental retardation this is a defect, and not something to be “celebrated”. Tolerance is different from this, which is what libs really want but do not say. We have tolerance in abundance, and have for ages. That is good, but the defect is not. It is something for which to find a cure.
One of the main reasons the homo rage aggravates me is exactly because of your predicament. They shove sexuality in our faces, including children. Children are going to notice and wonder about it, ask, and bring up the subject of sex far too early. They do not need to be confronted with sexual things until 10 or so.
I would avoid the subject if possible. The suggestion of babysitting is good. But barring that, perhaps you coukd ask your abberant friends to avoid PDAs and references to marriage at least. It is your house, your rules, and not unreasonable especially with all adults.
The notion that you need to be a Christian (or religious at all) to oppose homosexual “marriage” is absurd. Even societies that were quite tolerant of homosexual acts (ancient Greece and Rome) never even fathomed the concept of homosexual marriage. Why? Because by definition, marriage is a legal contract between two parents of a child that guarantees that they will stay together long enough to provide for that child’s needs. Unfortunately, the notion that heterosexual marriage is first and foremost about romantic love or sex rather than childrearing is what paved the way for basically ludicrous notions such as homosexual marriage.
You are right.
On FR guys who love the fun don’t like my assertion that sex is actually for producing children. They just want the fun, but they do not acknowledge why.
Kind of like the notion among hipster "foodies" that eating should be all about enjoyment and experience, not for nutrition and staying alive. The concept that food, sex, etc. are strictly recreation rather than functional are signs of a decadent society with excessive luxury.
I always taught my kids to use things for what they were made for. Don’t use a shovel to hammer a nail, use a hammer. The ass wasn’t made for insertion.
conservative is conservative, there is no secular, social, or other left wing nonsense.
Marriage is about mothers and fathers and children. It is how your children will become mommies and daddies.
homosexual marriage is like a little girl who is not allowed to play with dolls or any other toys from a toy store. It is a child who does not like birthday presents.
simplistic but it is for a early stage explanation to children to guide them to good away from evil.
incorrect.
Secular marriage is a concept developed by the homosexuals at the American bar association model law project.
marriage is marriage and it is about society.
ALL marriage is and has been “secular”. It is about society rewarding the institution of marriage because it continues society.
homosexual acts are meaningless to society as a whole since they contribute NOTHING but are a burden upon society. Homosexual pairings are about rewarding the production of an orgasm for the individual, not even the couple. Marriage is about the institution as a means of furthering society.
Well sure....but as you may have noticed.... you get a bunch of answersyou never dreamed of....lol
Don’t worry about what your kids might say. If they bring it up, let the “husband” or the “other husband” explain their position.
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