Skip to comments.Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not Satan
Posted on 03/18/2013 3:19:37 PM PDT by markomalley
The Internet is abuzz with the fact that Satan on the History Channels The Bible miniseries, which has gotten great ratings, looks a tad like Obama if Michele gets him to go on a veggies only diet. I really dont see much resemblance but it does give us a good excuse to look at the top ten reasons why Obama is not Satan:
1. Hell has never run a deficit.
2. Satan, whatever his other manifest evils, has never voted present.
3. Satan resides in Hell and Obama resides in Chicago. (A small difference I concede.).
4. Satan is the prince of liars, while Obama is at most an archduke of liars.
5. Satan to my knowledge has never eaten dog.
6. Satan has never used a teleprompter as far as I know.
7. The people of the United States have never elected Satan as President, although if God were running as a Republican and Satan as a Democrat in Cook County, I would not like Gods chances.
8. Satan has never attempted to have the Catholic Church pay for birth control.
9. Satan gets almost as bad press in the Mainstream Media as the Republican party.
10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.
11. Satan’s wart is on his chin instead of next to his nose.
Those are good, especially #10.
“10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.”
12) Satan would write his own biography.
13) Satan wouldn’t have a composite girlfriend.
14: Satan didn’t marry his beard.
Satan has experience running a large complex organization successfully.
15. Satan outwits people.
11. Satans biggest accomplishment is convincing people he does not exist.
Satan knows what he’s doing
Satan does not need Jarret to act on his behalf
Satan will occasionally do something right if only to throw people off...
This could go on for (insert Carl Sagan here) BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of examples.
#5 is a hoot. Gotta remember that one. Thanks for the laugh!
Obama/Satan - One of them believes in God.
Satan knows Scripture and can quote it correctly...
The other one thinks he's God.
16. Satan would never have married Michelle, he already knew what Hell is.
LOL. also, Satan doesn’t have a “wife”.
Hang onto it for Friday, OK?
The devil is not negro
Honestly I don’t think he’s that smart. Someone/Someteleprompter told him to think that way and he said ‘OK!’ because that’s all he knows how to do.
I really don’t think he is a narcissist anymore. All kidding aside, I think he’s a literal lump of clay and takes the shape of whoever molds him. Left to his own devices he’d sit in a room alone and drool for lack of instruction on what to do next.
I really believe that.
17. Satan does not have a prayer rug.
Even before Obama was nominated, I read a very interesting exchange on another forum. It began in the usual nonsense thread about the possibility that Obama was the antichrist.
At some point, an Obama supporter said he actually wished that Obama *was* the antichrist. Why? “Because then he would be powerful, and give us (his supporters) what we want, and punish the people we hate.”
The trouble is, I think that Obama supporter really meant it. He was so shallow that life for him was distilled into getting free stuff, and hurting those he hated.
Whether or not Hell really exists, this seems to me to be a person destined for it, as no other destiny seems appropriate.
I can see the resemblance...
Satan has standards. Obama does not.
Satan doesn’t have a Wookie wife.
Satan knows that there is a God. Obama doesn’t.
Obama has more little “devils” to help him in his quest for power.
Satan would reject Anita Dunn on general principles.
Satan is not a friend of labor unions.
1. Satan has a brain.
19. Satan knows there is no Austrian language.
20. Satan doesn't think Youtube videos cause Muslims to attack.
21. Satan knows how to shoulder a shotgun.
#? Satan plays a fiddle hard; Obama thinks it’s too hard to play a fiddle.
I'm thinking, I"m thinking...
And oBammy didn’t?/hasn’t? Are you kidding?
22. Satan knows who Jack Benny is. 0bama thinks Jack Benny is a British comedian.
I guess I meant “smart people”.
Well, the anti-christ is the opposite of jesus
1. jesus was from a virgin birth - obama born from a whore
2. jesus says children are a gift from above- obama aborts them
3. jesus is truth- obama is a liar
4. jesus hates lawyers, obama is a lawyer
5. jesus destroys gays (sodom and gommorah)- obama embraces them
6. Democrats are the party (the people) that denied god three times in the open for the world to see.. catholics are wanting the chruch to “change” with the times— but only one problem with that— jesus (God) hasnt changed- jesus says “ you see me you see the father” - they think the same, and have no regrets about destroying gays at sodom and gommorah, or any other thing written-
Satan is envious of BO because BO won’t tell him where the other 7 or 8 states are.
Satan doesn’t need a teleprompter to tell him how to wreak havoc.
Satan doesn’t think he is God.
Satan TELLS Tiger Woods to come to HIS golf course.
Satan doesn’t blame women for his shortcomings.
I would dispute #8; he has agents doing his bidding, some quite enthusiastically.
21. Satan knows there are only 50 states.
24. Satan knows there are only 50 states.
24. satan does not attract flies to face like Obama
25 obama stinks, at least Satan probably takes a bath.
26. satan is at least organized, obama cannot find his way out of a paper bag.
Satan knows Obama is not God.
Satan didn’t outsource running the DNC.
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