Posted on 09/20/2003 9:20:00 PM PDT by TomAdkinsCC
WHAT GEORGE BUSH SHOULD TELL THE UNITED NATIONS
By Tom Adkins
USA Todays liberal flack Al Neuarth wrote a column advising President Bush how to address the United Nations next week, suggesting he'll have to change both his message and his demeanor drastically to win approval there. Other suggestions: Don't act or talk so tough. Eat a little crow. Admit "We were wrong when we warned that Iraq posed an imminent threat to the world with weapons of mass destruction... We were wrong in failing to recognize that our occupation of Iraq would be a magnet to attract and activate terrorists from other countries. We were wrong in thinking the U.S. could direct Iraq toward democracy without the U.N. Today, I apologize for our miscalculations. Iraq needs your help. We need your help. The U.S. will cooperate with any arrangement for Iraq that the U.N. Security Council approves. We realize the U.N. still is the best hope for just and lasting peace, in Iraq and in the world. Thank you."
As usual, Neuarth and all his fellow liberals who worship at the altar of Neville Chamberlain have it bass-ackwards. Instead, if I were President Bushs speechwriter, I would craft this carefully worded ditty
GEORGE BUSH:
I wanted to stay home and do something more productive, like pick my fingernails, but since the United Nations has rendered itself impotent, ineffective and obsolete, I came here today to offer my advice.
First, your entire concept of a world government that creates world peace by bending over and grabbing our ankles has been proven bankrupt. The United Nations has never won a single war. The only time we get lasting peace is when the United States enters a skirmish and kick ass. You cant even feed starving people, so what good are you? You should all quit and go home. Well just take back the United Nations building and turning it into a casino. Donald Trump will run it, and make a profit, proving the greatness of capitalism.
Speaking of which Socialism is dead. Stop telling us it works. Fidel Castro is a jackass. In fact, hes a murdering, torturing jackass. Che Guevera is a jackass, too. I truly apologize for not killing Castro when we had the chance, although I am working on that right now, hopefully before this speech is over. It would be nice to see a free Cuba.
Capitalism is the best economy ever created. Stop telling us it doesnt work. Were too busy separating which part of our money goes to our pockets and which part goes to making our poor people richer than your rich people. If you dont like capitalism, stop asking us for money. If you dont like the United States, stop asking us to help you every time another thug kills a million people. We won world war two without your help. We defeated the Soviet Union without your help. We WOULD have defeated North Korea if you hadnt been involved, and we COULD have won Vietnam if we ignored political sensitivities and worried about tweeking the Chinese.
Now that we took out Hussein and his sadist sons, have you noticed all the Arab countries have been a lot nicer? Good move. Theyre next. And the best part? All the terrorists are coming into Iraq like flies on crap, and we are killing them. Sweet.
We were right in taking on Saddam Hussein, and we are doing a fabulous job rebuilding Iraq. The only Iraqis who dont like us are Saddam Husseins old thugs, because they cant rape, torture and plunder anymore. Otherwise, the other 85% of Iraq loves us. And they dont like France. There are only two problems left in Iraq: kill the bad guys and feed the people. So, if you arent willing to send troops or send food, stay home and eat brie. If you want to help, its our way or the highway.
By the way all that money the United Nations was skimming from that oil for food scam? You remember, the UN program that enabled Hussein to stay in power, and keep killing and torturing people while making billions for himself? The Iraqis want it back. Now.
France sucks. So does Germany. So does China. So does Belgium. And no matter how naked they get, the Dixie Chics look like Jacques Chirac.
The United States lost 3,000 innocent Americans because the United Nations doesnt stop terrorists. In fact you protect terrorist nations from facing justice. September 11th gives us a license to kick ass anywhere we want. Therefore, we will especially act tough wait, did I say act? I meant to say we will BE tough. Because we discovered being wussies invites terrorist attacks, and kicking ass leads to security.
Oh and the United Nations has never done a damned thing about terrorism. Ever.
Except for Democrats, the United States understands that we are the only nation that can create peace, and we do this through our awesome power and great benevolence, something which the United Nations doesnt have.
You have never- I repeat- never successfully rebuilt a nation. So stop giving us advice. Your people are stupid, your concept is stupid and your ideas are stupid. But we are not stupid, except for Howard Dean supporters, who are definitely stupid.
So if you feel like helping, go do what you do best- feed starving children and dig irrigation ditches somewhere. Otherwise, shut up, get out of the way, or go away. We will never be subject to anything some piss-ant bureaucrat tells us, especially when it comes to American security. Never.
Unless a Democrat becomes President.
Thank-you, and God Bless the United States.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tom Adkins is the publisher of CommonConservative.com
Bush NEVER said there was an IMMINENT threat. He said it would be a mistake to wait UNTIL the threat was imminent.
Yeah, I know everybody here knows that. But it annoys me so much to see that lie repeated again and again and again.
Eat s$$t!
Hey, UN! SHUT UP AND FEED STARVING CHILDREN!
Not You NR
Will try to be on for the race Sunday.
Well, that to.
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