"I suppose you also blame rape victims for not being able to hold off their attackers during the crime."
So, I suppose, by that line of thought, you also would have opposed to bombings of Germany and Japan during WWII as well, right?
That is an historically incorrect view. The northern armies far exceeded the ammount of destruction that is usual or tolerable for a large army to move through. In the more famous cases, they torched entire towns and cities - a wholly needless act of destruction intended solely to inflict harm upon the civilians there. Even if they had simply wanted to stop war productions they did not need to torch homes - rather simply dismantle the armaments factory. But they did not and instead levelled the entire town. Far more appalling were the little known executions they committeed on confederate civilians behind enemy lines. In Tennessee one union general drafted multiple "murder lists" of local civilians and sent firing squads out to execute them in bizarre and tortuous ways without trial and for "crimes" such as having a son in the confederate army. That kind of stuff may have been normal for large armies in the time of Rome but not in nineteenth century America.