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Cats: The New Persecuted Minority
War to Mobilize Democracy, LLC ^
| August 25, 2003
| Andrew Jaffee
Posted on 08/28/2003 5:47:40 PM PDT by forty_years
This is just too funny. I put the article in the comment below so people could see the pictures.
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cats; minority; new; persecuted
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It has come to my attention that the domestic cat (Felis catus) is now the number one persecuted minority. I have had first-hand experience in seeing the horrible mistreatment that cats are now subjected to. My only conclusion is that we must 1) pass a constitutional amendment specifically granting special rights to cats, and 2) establish a reparations fund to compensate cats for all the psychological damage they have incurred.
Cats have a long and noble heritage. The ancient Egyptians are thought to have been the first to domesticate the cat. They believed the cat was a sacred animal and that cats brought fertility to their lands and people. Egyptian traders probably brought cats to Europe. With the advent of Christianity, cats became associated with evil. During the Bubonic plague in Europe, many people blamed cats for the disease, and they killed/burnt cats to the point of extinction.
Now that cats have permeated modern society, a more insipid form of cat persecution has come into being. Because of the decadence of Western societies, cats have been subjected to more subtle types of persecution. I will now proceed to provide photographic evidence of such persecution.
Here we see an example of a cat who broke into his "owner's" valium. How shameless of his owners to allow him access to such psychotropic drugs. We cannot blame the cat for his drug abuse. It was his owner's fault for not properly hiding the drugs:
Here we see a cat that has been deprived of any sense of fulfillment by her owners. This cat is obviously bored to death. Her owners are guilty of not allowing her to pursue a higher education:
But cats have started to use non-violent resistance against their owners. Here we see a cat preventing her owner from working on her computer. Notice that the cat is sticking her tongue out at her owner in a sign of all-out defiance:
Here we find another example of non-violent resistance. This cat has promised to sit on her owner's computer until her demands for reparations are met:
Here we see a sit-in by disgruntled cats, trying to bring their plight to the attention of the public:
Please join the crusade for a cat constitutional amendment and cat reparations. We owe it to these noble creatures. We must save them from further persecution.
* For those of you who didn't notice, this article is tongue-in-cheek.
To: forty_years
I agree! It's time to claw our way to freedom!
2
posted on
08/28/2003 5:49:33 PM PDT
by
neutrino
(Oderint dum metuant: Let them hate us, so long as they fear us.)
To: forty_years
That is funny. I like that.
3
posted on
08/28/2003 5:50:43 PM PDT
by
mel
To: forty_years; HairOfTheDog; Sabertooth
Silly animal thread bump
4
posted on
08/28/2003 5:51:35 PM PDT
by
Jalapeno
To: msdrby
ping
5
posted on
08/28/2003 5:51:39 PM PDT
by
Prof Engineer
(HHD - Blast it Jim. I'm an Engineer, not a walking dictionary.)
To: Prof Engineer
Breaking news Johnnie Cochran getting ready to file
lawsuits on behalf on cat plaintiffs around the country.
To: facedown
ping
7
posted on
08/28/2003 5:54:38 PM PDT
by
sistergoldenhair
(Don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep.)
To: neutrino
I say declaw the little bastards.
8
posted on
08/28/2003 5:55:51 PM PDT
by
Rocko
To: forty_years
That was purrrfect.
9
posted on
08/28/2003 5:57:09 PM PDT
by
hobblemaster
(Hear no Evil, See no Evil, This is CNN!)
To: forty_years; PetroniDE; w_over_w
Great fun for cat lovers!Thanks
10
posted on
08/28/2003 5:58:05 PM PDT
by
MEG33
To: forty_years
FORTY ACRES (OF CATNIP) AND A MOUSE!!
11
posted on
08/28/2003 5:58:36 PM PDT
by
wimpycat
(Down with Kooks and Kookery!)
To: forty_years
That's just what I want out of life, to be a slave to furballs.
SEND ME CATS NOW! I LOVE PAIN!
12
posted on
08/28/2003 5:59:08 PM PDT
by
LibKill
(Heaven frowns on all things french, and democrat, AND ESPECIALLY FELINE.)
To: forty_years
All they want is 40 acres and a mew.
13
posted on
08/28/2003 5:59:22 PM PDT
by
Bogey78O
(The Clinton's have pardoned more terrorists than they ever captured/killed -Peach)
To: forty_years
My cat...
14
posted on
08/28/2003 6:01:01 PM PDT
by
Chad Fairbanks
(My Doc said I'm paranoid, and gave me pills. I don't take them cuz I think he's trying to kill me...)
To: neutrino
And we need a task force to stamp out...
15
posted on
08/28/2003 6:03:55 PM PDT
by
Chad Fairbanks
(My Doc said I'm paranoid, and gave me pills. I don't take them cuz I think he's trying to kill me...)
To: forty_years; Allegra; w_over_w; SAMWolf; RikaStrom; Zavien Doombringer
PAGING THE CAT PEOPLE. TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD WHO IS BOSS AROUND HERE. RELEASE THE MONSTERS.
PERSECUTE THIS !!!
16
posted on
08/28/2003 6:09:40 PM PDT
by
PetroniDE
(Kitty Is My Master - I Do What She Says)
To: Chad Fairbanks
WE'RE FIERCE, WE'RE FELINES, AND WE'RE IN...YOUR...FAAAAAAAACE!"
17
posted on
08/28/2003 6:11:51 PM PDT
by
wimpycat
(Down with Kooks and Kookery!)
To: wimpycat
The pic is a red X in a little box. Not scary at all.
18
posted on
08/28/2003 6:13:41 PM PDT
by
LibKill
(Heaven frowns on all things french, and democrat, AND ESPECIALLY CAT.)
To: Republicanaut; kb2614
Meow bump!
19
posted on
08/28/2003 6:15:36 PM PDT
by
meowmeow
To: forty_years
Cat...the other white meat!
20
posted on
08/28/2003 6:16:43 PM PDT
by
Redleg Duke
(Stir the pot...don't let anything settle to the bottom where the lawyers can feed off of it!)
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