Now, the real problem is that you are getting old and cannot meet a man, because you are caustic and don't take very good care of yourself. You are fat and don't smell very good, and your liberalism turns off every man you meet.
What are we going to do about you? You can't seem to clean up -- no makeover will work. Your personality is mostly dominated with a superiority complex, so nobody really wants to be around you. And the personal hygene! We can't even get you to shower regularly!
Gosh, I really want to help you, but I don't know where to start.