Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[Montfort]

No, his ex-wife is a woman with custody of children so she could get welfare. He cannot get welfare.

[spunkets]

"im confused why so many ppl posting here know others who have been. seems cut and dry to me, what exuses do these judges have for denying a sincere request?"

It all depends on the State and the particular area. The blue areas have rat judges that have come up with certain preordained decisions. Those decisions are made according to politics and cost. The judges themselves usually have no concept of right and wrong outside of leftist thought.

Conservative judges would order your ex to the bench and whack him with the gavel for fraud. He's getting away with it, because of the local politics. Your atty, who said what they did about reductions may be full of it and part of the local boys club.

Depending on what State you're in, filing false docs in court is a crime. It's up to the local dist atty to decide what to do with the sit.

[shaggy eel]

Well... I don't seem to be lacking.

And my $$$ is MINE! Matter of fact just splurged on a 2K carbon-frame road bike - it's a speed demon.

Meanwhile, 'Married Men' are spending their cash on drapes...

,,, it seems the main avenues you have available to measure yourself are financial and your superficial success rate with unattached women in sexual encounters. I recall similar times when I was 18. Good luck with the years ahead... they'll pass in a blur of pleasant distractions. Hold onto that carbon fibre bike, they're a real hit in old folks' homes! Plenty of unattached viagra-hotties in that environment.

[moondancer]

Im not a lawyer, but heres maybe something that might work. avoiding court is a sure fire way to make the judge mad and ultimatly wind you up in jail.
ive had to go to a counselor in learning to communicate with my x in attempt to protect myself from all his crap. ive learned some of what they like to see. try sending your wife a certified letter, explaining your situation and an agreement to pay her 50.00 a month until youve paid off what your behind in. i know you dont want to do that and your financial situation already isnt pretty but itll show well to the judge that your "trying". make it 25.00, anything. if she rants and raves she looks petty because you are doing the best you can, thats what they want to see. get a lawyer too if you can. while cheaper seems better, its not. im on my 3rd lawyer, she was lot more per hour, but has cost me less because she knows what she is doing. im afraid if you dont do something your wife will have you bench warranted and then clean your clock! if she has a lawyer she can assure youll be back in florida or youll not see your kids.
the courts are not friendly, i wouldnt try your luck.

[Pukin Dog]

I dont know what courts do in these matters. I was trying to help the person avoid making matters worse for him and his family. You always here about how situations like this can end badly.

I dont even know if a passport is required in Costa Rica. Anyone?

[steve86]

Yes, the passport is required. After 90 days a visa is required (unless they "overlook" that).

[Vicki]

Believe me a judge doesn't care. We went through a similar situation and they tell you that you are expected to pay the court ordered amount. They don't care what your circumstances are ... just get the money.

They threatened to take our licenses away (drivers, business and fishing).

[moondancer]

i know its politics, and the state is washington state, im not sure what thier judges are, are they rats?. this one simply seems to hate women in general. im sure hell get his reduction from what my attny has said, i cant see a reason why theyd deny it to him, except for the fact that all his previous declarations about his employement and finances have been fraudulent. im not fighting to keep him from getting his reduction, im fighting for all the stuff he is trying to sneak in. its insane that the judge has never called him on his lies, and probally wont this time iether. how do we fix this problem with judges?

[StatesEnemy]

they'll pass in a blur of pleasant distractions

Ahhh so you understand! LOL.

BTW, as long as I keep myself in shape (I love it, so it ain't a struggle) I'll have my PICK of divorcée's in a couple decades.

Unless ya haven't noticed, men generally age better.

[Pukin Dog]

I guess this man should try Mexico?

[PatrioticAmerican]

Yep. An Automated Teller Machine. To some extent, that mentality shows through loud and clear.

[Mr. K]

you are not kidding about the court system being F*(&*^ED up-

I recently got divorced, and the court's own doctor recommended not only that I should have SOLE custody, but that their mother should not even be allowed overnight visitation until she recevide psychological help.

Their mother THEN bashed herself in the head and claimed I did it. I was able to prove I was not even home at the time, so the children temporarily began living with me pending the trial. The children saw this happen and said so.

During the trial, one of my daughters was hospitalized for neglect while in her mothers care for a long visitation weekend.

Also during the trial there was not one witness against me and numerous witnesses against the mother, including having her children taken away from her for child abuse in the past.

While denying my claims that she spent all her time on the computer neglecting the children the ONLY evidence presented by her was computer generated documents (false).

END RESULT: NY State Judge John O'Donnell gave sole custody to the diagnosed psychopath mother who had a 15 year history of child abuse and neglect.

This forced me into bankruptcy and loss of over a million dollars of real estate. There go the college funds. Since then people have been arrested in her house for drugs, the kids are left home alone with no food.

This sorry excuse for a judge has signs posted all over town about him stating that he is 'unfair to fathers'

[PatrioticAmerican]

her current lay is a Mexican who is married with children. He's 40 and a bit out of shape. Her ex-hubby thinks that is actually the worst of it all: He got dumped for a dumpy loser. Ouch.

[shaggy eel]

Unless ya haven't noticed, men generally age better.

,,, clearly, on the basis of your experience, whether they do or don't - at least they have fun getting there. I'm delighted to say I wouldn't trade places with you for anything.

[mlmr]

It is not sexual discrimination. The children come from the women's bodies. A woman has more physically and emotionally invested in a child that the husband, in most cases. I have a traditional viewpoint, I realize.

You also have to realize that I was once the center of a fairly high profile custody battle where, my father should have won the custody battle, my mother was emotionally ill. He didn't and I didn't understand until years later why the courts awarded my mother custody. Now as a mother I understand why a competent mother has first custody rights.

[PatrioticAmerican]

Ya know. there are judicial review boards for bad judges. There is also federal court.

[StatesEnemy]

I wouldn't trade places with you for anything.

Ya sure?

I seem to be having a blast...

[moondancer]

YIKES!! maybe your x and my x are related.
we had psych evals too, my x came out as a pathological liar, anti social personality/sociopath, he was so high on his scale he was 1.2% of men. even yet this evaluator who was a definate rat, ignored 3 of our sons counselors and all except the mmpi profile said only good things about my x. without her testimony which would be useless noone can even mention his profile which would explain everything to the courts. i have my doubts too thou that this court would even listen. he fires every counselor and now 2 more have said the same, but they stick together (evaluators and judges) in thier own little ratpack. they say its "for the children" but its all about keeping the attnys and judges in job security. GRR. sorry about your situation. prayers for your kids.

[StatesEnemy]

It is not sexual discrimination. The children come from the women's bodies. A woman has more physically and emotionally invested in a child that the husband

Then I guess they should pay more.

You are a sexist pig.

[yhwhsman]

Well, looks like you've received some good advice, and a lot of noise from people who really don't know what they're talking about.

First, things look pretty dark right now. Your situation is like an axe hanging over your head, making it difficult to see any kind of decent future for yourself.

Don't give up hope, Amigo! Suicide is not the answer.

Second, do you have any family or friends who might have an extra room, or maybe even a couch you could sleep on for a short time while you look for a job? Or might be willing to rent you something for a small amount ($1000 a month is awful difficult to live on)?

Third, since you are unemployed, you might qualify for Legal Aid. My mom works for an office in Nashville, and basically they provide legal services for low-income people.

Fourth, have you at least paid something towards your child support? Even if it's only $50, at least it would show that you're trying to do something.

The older I get, the gladder I am that I never married. I'm just not sure it's worth the heart-ache. I've had friends that have been in the same boat you are--the courts just don't give a damn about the ex-husbands.

I don't know much about how the legal process works, but is it possible to get a different judge assigned to your case? I don't know if one exists, but maybe there might be a forum on the net somewhere for divorced guys in Florida, they might be able to give you some advice because they've 'been there, done that'.

I'm wondering what your jail sentence would be. I don't think they can keep you there forever, each day is worth so much towards your child support I believe. Would you be able to get work release? At least you'd have a place to stay (I'm not sure I'd like that option either).

These are just some random thoughts I had. I'm not in your situation, so I can't truly relate to what you're going through. But the way I look at life is I refuse to accept my current circumstances, there's always something better up ahead. I'm just trying to help you think outside the dark box you're in at the moment.

Final thought--have you thought about contacting the pastor of a local church and talking to him? It's always a good idea to get a higher power (God) involved in things like this.

Yhwhsman