[sweetliberty]

I have it down pretty well:

• Get your lazy butt out of bed and feed me or I'm going to stick my wet nose in your eye.
• I AM going to help you make the bed.
• This is NOT what I wanted.
• Open the blinds.
• What is that cat doing in my yard?
• Let me out.
• Let me in.
• You need to come to bed now.
• I want to be petted.
• Where do you think you're going?
• I want a treat.
• Where have you been? You're late feeding me!
• What do you mean YOUR chair?
• I'm contented...for the moment.

  .

  

[gnarledmaw]

I had a 235lb St Bernard that used to say many of the same things only the first phrase was better translated as:

Get your lazy butt out of bed and feed me or I'm going to stand on your face.