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After reading your post, I (stupidly) realized that you have had several prior posts on this thread that I didn't read. Now I have. I feel very badly for you and wish that some sort of counseling several years ago could have occurred and helped you out. But after this many years, as you know, there's really no going back, no matter how much you want to (even if you did).

I'm glad that you and your wife were able to seemingly raise your kids without subjecting them to your pain; you would not believe how many a--holes there are out there who use their kids to get back at the other. I'd say at least 50% of my cases involving custody disputes has this happen.

I wish you well.

My ex wife could be a transsexual ax murderer. I will never speak negatively about her with our children. I respect them too much. She has not selected to follow this, and has caused a great deal of damage (nothing that I cant repair over time). I love my kids so much (my youngest is 17), I could write several books about my relationship with my kids. I was a great dad, and at 41, I look forward to being a fun grandfather.

And life is good.